How to deal with your partner cheating
I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant and just recently found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. That I'm aware of this happened towards the middle of last month. He didn't physically cheat but he was messaging a specific person from his past and they were dirty messages. I found out only because I found his secret Instagram page on his phone. It took a couple tries but I eventually got him to log in to that Instagram. I had to take the phone for myself once he did and read the messages. He was also sending heart face emojis and the flame emoji to other women. Basically he used this secret Instagram as a way to message these thirst traps. We found out I was pregnant at the beginning of January and the dates of the messages were already after he knew I was expecting. I don't want to leave because obviously he's the father of my child (my first pregnancy too) but how does one cope with the betrayal.. he said it was a moment of weakness and he got curious and he knows he messed up big time. He says he's going to be better but I can't help to think like why couldn't he be better to begin with.. why did he have to do that to me and while pregnant to make things worse.. what was supposed to be the most beautiful time in my life, my first time being a mommy to be and all I can think about is this pain. Whenever he calls me beautiful all I can think of how he was calling her beautiful, all those times I made sure he was satisfied (which was literally everyday) all of that even when I was tired or sick or not feeling my best I still made sure his needs were met and I still got cheated on.. I don't know where I went wrong and I ask him was I not good enough and he says that there's nothing wrong with me, it's him. He says I'm perfect and I've done more than enough for him but I just don't understand why he would do this to me.. I do the wifey things, I cook, clean and cater to him so it's not like I've abandoned him during this time. I feel hopeless and I try to be happy for the sake of the baby but it's just so hard right now. Any advice? I'm sorry for ranting and thank you to whoever took the time to read my sob story.
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I do second the above. And it’s likely if you stay it will happen again. That being said, he’s right, it’s him not you. And people are capable of change if they want to be. HE has to do the work though, and show you. Is he willing to go to therapy alone and also with you to work through this? Cheating can sometimes open up more lines of communication and trust, but it takes time and effort. And it can be painful. But either way it will painful.
If you both truly want to be together then I highly recommend scheduling couples counseling asap! I would also see a counselor for yourself as well.
Don't stress out mama! Your biggest focus is baby. Nobody can control their partner. Thr couples I know that have been together for over 30+ years have gone through A LOT. Most people will never talk about it, but no relationship is perfect. Love is a choice. Listen to your gut and pray, pray, PRAY.
Whatever is meant to be will be🙏🏻💛
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to get back to me. It's nice knowing that there's a community out there to vent to
Thank you. I truly appreciate you taking the time to give insight. I'm trying to figure this out as I go and I know me and him have alot of talking to do.
Awhh thank you for getting back to me. It's comforting to know that there's a community of women looking out for each other. I have so much to think about but most importantly like you said biggest focus is baby. Thank you!
exactly she maybe need to relocate
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