Long read apologies
Okay so here’s the sitch. Me and my partner have a son now and he has 2 children from a previous relationship, tried absolutely everything to befriend this woman as her children are around me but at the same time if they’re wrong or misbehave I tell them so (never shouted at them or anything I have a chat with them) she’s stopping contact trying to get more money from my partner because I’m not supposed to tell the kids off (she made it sound like I’m in here putting hands on them & going crazy I wouldn’t to my own child let alone anyone else’s) the point I tried to get across to her is if they do something wrong and their dad isn’t present in that moment I will call it because if my son sees I’m letting them get away with being rude/disrespectful or naughty how can I expect my son to listen to me?
Am I in the wrong for this. She saying my son isn’t her problem but all the same breath I can say her kids aren’t my problem but I’ve always tried to do my part and now they have another sibling so I guess really my question is am I in the wrong for telling the kids when they’re wrong/rude (they’re 5 and 7) it’s giving bitter BM but at this point I’ve washed my hands of her. my priority are the kids and making sure they understand right from wrong alongside their dad
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You are not wrong! Same situation every thing that I do it bad or wrong, and BM tells my Sks that. Ultimately, when the kids are in our house, they must follow our rules, and if they don't, they will get reprimanded. Bm has no say what goes on In our home. Her children are fed,clothed,clean,and taken care of. I would tell your husband to let her know that her kids are safe, but there is never an excuse for bad behavior. You guys will raise them how you see fit in your home and she can do the same in her house. But she has no say about what goes on in yours.
Secondly you and your husband are a team and need to present your selfs to the kids as a united front so if he is not in the room and you have to get on to them. He should 100% back you up and support you so the kids know that you are just as much in authority and to be respected.
couldn’t of said that any better myself! everything would be simpler if we could sit down and have a conversation but she shouts and talks over people 😀 so we’ll keep our home happy with our rules ✨ and leave her to her devices
this has also been mentioned he mainly does the disciplining but then they look at me as the ‘fun one’ and when I back up their father I guess word has maybe traveled back that I’ve been disciplining them when I have a chat with them. Simple yes no questions like do you understand why you’re in trouble? What made you do that? Ect then it’s apologies and hugs I’ll be sticking with my way because I’ve always had that fear of over stepping so I’m cautious but I now have to take into account I have a son too & want him to understand you show respect and take accountability for wrong actions
I’ve never have and never will think that it’s more of they have no discipline when they go with their mother she openly admitted that she let them do whatever they want and it doesn’t run here… the rules and way we handle things here by talking and taking accountability runs for everyone here she keeps bringing my child into it that’s why I explained it’s simply so my son knows it’s not one rule for them and one for him
Your partner their dad needs to address the baby mom. He needs to set the expectation she needs to respect you and y’all household where the kids will be spending their time.
already been done but it falls on deaf ears I personally don’t interact with her anymore as ‘she doesn’t trust me as I’m not nice to her anymore’ I only no longer interact/converse with her but she’s hated me from day 1 so I stopped attempting to talk to her.
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