I need to vent
My mom always finds a way to blame me for everything. She’s not a bad mom that’s for sure. She’s always provided for us and worked hard to keep me and my brothers safe and happy. BUT because I’m the oldest I always got blamed for stupid things my brothers did.
Now I’m 25 years old. I moved out of state and I’m currently pregnant with baby #2. We are all super happy and excited. She was planning to move in with me and my husband with my two brothers as well. We agreed to help them out at least for the first year that they’ll be here. My younger brother moved in with us since November. He has a night shift so he works until 12am or sometimes 1am.
I’ve been complaining to my mom about my younger brothers work schedule. I’m 26 weeks pregnant so I need my sleep especially because my two year old wakes up early. Well she took it the wrong way. Now she’s saying she knows that I don’t want her to move out here because I’ll have to be the one taking her everywhere. She’ll be a burden. She just keeps saying it’s clear I don’t want her to move and it’s clear how I feel about the whole situation. She blamed me already for moving out of state and I understand that but now she’s also blaming me for not wanting to pick my brother up at 1am because I don’t get enough sleep or I’m too tired. I really have to do whatever she wants me to do with no complaints.
It’s always been like this my whole life. This is why I blame myself for everything! My husband hates it. At this point she should’ve listen to my heartless father about getting an abortion once I was on my way.
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You are an adult, not under your mothers roof, you have no responsibility to care for her or your brothers, that is her responsibility as their parent. You have every right to be upset about not wanting to be awake at 1 am.. especially pregnant. He can use uber/ lyft.
Why offer to house them if you knew what the circumstances were going to be… it’s ok to keep family at arms length your bother needs to stand on his own 2 feet now your focus is your health and your family
I am dealing with this. I highly suggest getting a therapist for yourself, they can help you communicate more effectively and recognize manipulation for what it is. I know it's hard to feel so 5argeted when all you want is for what is supposed to be your support system to be close by. I would probably treat her like an unruly toddler and gentle parent her. "I hear that you are feeling like you are unhappy with moving." "I am taking care of the health of myself and my children I would appreciate if you did the same" "I am growing your grandchild, you need to respect that I need sleep and don't have the privilege of sleeping during the day."
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