Not happy in relationship but share a daughter
Hi there - I’m not happy in my relationship at all. It feels like so much work and has felt that way for too long.
He’s a great dad and really strives to do what’s best for our daughter. But he can be paternalistic and have a rude and disrespectful tone sometimes especially when he’s frustrated, and he doesn’t show or give me love in the way that I need.
I find myself angry, sad, or frustrated most of the time. We’re engaged and my sister asked me today if I was ready to get married. I don’t know. I don’t want to feel like this before getting married.
I’m scared to leave because my daughter is 3.5 months old only and I can’t imagine not being around her majority of the time or having to let her do overnights away from me as part of shared custody. So that’s another reason I stay, so I can be around my daughter.
Not sure what to do. Any advice?
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Communicating is key and relationships are a lot of work pre and postpartum. The changes that come along with a baby are very stressful. The advice I have heard is separating shouldn’t be discussed until
After 2 years of baby being born ( unless they are abusive or a danger to you and baby) it’s hard work but communicating and figuring out how to work as a team really helps
I think you meed to have a heartfelt sitdown with him and express how you feel. Maybe he is feeling some things too.
You should definitely try to make this work and try all you can before separating since you have a daughter now. I also agree postpartum is rough. I never had such hard marriage issues until postpartum with my daughter. It felt like we just couldn’t figure things out for a really long time especially with families. I think it was just our relationship was figuring out the new dynamic with a child involved and agreeing how to raise her and values etc was all the sudden on the table. So yea just talk and give it time i think. Unless there is abuse like said above, that is a whole different ballgame
I heard someone saying to not break up during the first year of post partum (unless there is violence etc). Many changes in the relationship are due to the post partum, baby and such
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