Would you leave your partner if he doesn’t defend you to his family who bully you?

Sounds like your partner needs to develop a back bone and put his family straight. The family you have together should be priority, and they clearly don’t respect your relationship by making you feel that way 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t want to be with someone who felt it was okay for me to be treated like that, and more so did nothing about it. If you were to split up, the baby would still see his family as unless there are valid reasons (safety concerns etc) you couldn’t really put a stop to that, regardless if you’ve cut them off or not. I would almost try and scare him, by telling him you want space away and stay with your parents for a while, let him know you’re serious about ending the relationship if he doesn’t step up and make you feel more of a priority than his family who are making you feel that way! 🩷

Why do they bully you/not like you? Have you done something in the past to make them feel/act this way towards you? Would you stop seeing your parents if they didn't like your husband? It's a huge thing to ask. Things will never be sorted out if you keep baby from them etc. I would let him take the baby to see them. But I would also expect my partner to be sticking up for me. Can we have some examples of what they do to you? X x

I feel like if he really knew how serious you were, he would be doing more to remedy this situation. It is unrealistic to ask him to not speak to his parents, however you are the family that he chose and he needs to make sure that you are comfortable and respected. If he's not willing to have that conversation with his family about their behavior, then maybe he doesn't respect you enough for you to continue wasting energy on him. Withholding your child maybe seen as a strategic move, so be careful with that, but if you don't want them around your kid, I completely understand that as well, that's up to you guys.

I agree with Chelsea. When we first started dating my partner told his mother if he won't accept me & be kind she will no longer have a son. He told his whole family if anyone had anything negative to say about me he'd cut them off. You & your child should be his priority. If he wants to go fine idc. But I wouldn't feel comfortable with my child being there.

I get that it’s his family and I’ve told him he can still see them what upsets me though is how he sees them still as if nothing has happened, acts like everything is fine. And I don’t want them around my daughter for safety concerns. I recently wrote a really big post on here with the full details but in short his mum has psychically threatened me, his sister has treated me as if I’m dirt and I don’t deem his dad as safe at all. He used to make sexual comments about partners sister whilst they were growing up so I definitely don’t want him around my daughter

@Alex the post I wrote before is a long one but it explains it all on there, I can tag you in there if you need more of the story x

Yikes, that sounds like a nightmare. I wouldn't want my child around them either. How does your husband not see that? He's probably too engrained in their instability to really see it, that's his normal.

He does see that it’s wrong and is upset about the situation. I always say to him imagine if it was my side of the family causing this much distress to him, would he feel comfortable with our little baby around them? He says no. My family are always lovely to him. His mother is obsessed with him though, it’s like she’s emotionally emeshed with him and doesn’t like that he has a family of his own. I think he’s grown up in a difficult family situation but he feels loyal to them. It’s such a hard thing. This is why I’m not sure if I should stay with him anymore, it’s really affecting me, giving me anxiety that I never knew I could have

He just doesn’t have a backbone and tell them how it is

My husband was the same way. Then he went to therapy and everything changed.

Yes

Therapy. You all need to go to therapy. Even if you leave him they will be in your child's life, than you really have no control. A good book on boundaries would be a good start too

I know how you feel I’ve dealing with the same thing for 14 years I don’t go around my in-laws anymore because of it

Yes please, can you tag me x x

Yep I'd leave. They sound unhinged.

Difficult one. Depends on if this is his only short-coming. My partner struggles to challenge his mum's behaviour but this is because he is the most mild-mannered gent around and he finds conflict terribly difficult. There have been times when I have felt frustrated but aside from this, the man is a pure soul and at the end of the day, I don't want to see him hurting. I have reached the point where I have told him I will likely challenge nasty comments by her myself and he was fully supportive of that 🤣. I think you just have to look at the wider picture and whether he is 'worth it'