how to talk to grandparents about not kissing our newborn

i'm only 11 weeks along at this point but i'm already worried about how we're going to enforce the "no intense physical contact" rule with our parents (specifically my in-laws). i don't want anyone but my husband and i kissing our baby until they're at least 3 months old, and my husband says it's going to be hard for him to enforce that with his parents. he also keeps saying they could die before they're able to kiss their grandchild (he's exaggerating but only a little, both of his parents are prone to getting sick often) but i am adamant about wanting to protect our baby's health until their immune system develops and strengthens. how did you tell your parents and in-laws that it's for the baby's safety?

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We enforced one month, but still don’t want anyone kissing him in the face. We explained that if he gets a fever at all within the first month, he’d have to have a spinal tap. That truth shocked most people enough to keep their mouths to themselves. Now that he’s almost a year, I just ask they kiss him on top of his head. I feel like that’s a compromise.

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Straight up tell them. Especially if they're prone to getting sick easily!

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Just tell them I know we ALL love him/her but right now can we please stick to holding and or touching the hands due to health and safety concerns? It’s hard but I did it and my in laws survived. It’s just so hard with such an adorable little human being

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We reached 6 months until we were happy with other family members kissing her on the head or cheek. We still don’t allow on the mouth (she’s 14 months) as it’s just something we both don’t like. All of our family are on social media so I shared a few posts about RSV and babies getting sick through kissing etc and my partner backed me up and let his family know. I think a few people weren’t too happy but they respected the decision. At the end of the day, it’s your baby, your rules. If they can’t follow, they can’t visit 🤷🏼‍♀️

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‘Your germs are too big for us so please keep them to yourselves, this means no kissing face or hands’ just something sweet and gentle to start with and if they disrespect boundaries just be more firm xx

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I just told people point blank, and if they can’t respect the boundary they don’t get to hold/touch the baby.

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"No face or hand kisses for her health" plain and simple

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I’m sending out an email to the whole family with guidelines and expectations! That way the expectations are set and they can’t say they didn’t know, because it’s in writing.

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I was just straight up about it. My mom kissed the top of her head and I said ell at least my husband didn’t see/know and that’s the safest spot but I refused to allow her to be alone with her until after she had her first shots. However I am going to be even more strict this time because I will have a 14 month old and a newborn. We have more than enough germs and I don’t need anyone else’s added to it

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Research RSV in babies. Send them to your partner and family members and say absolutely no kissing baby until we say so.
Babies health is my priority not your feelings.
I still don’t allow kissing for my 17 month old.
Until he allows them himself. He didn’t ask to be brought into this world so I have to advocate for him until he can use his voice.

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I have to do all the research to send to my FIL. He legit has decided he doesn't want the tdap shot. No shot, no access to my kid

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My pediatrician told us to blame her. She said she didn’t mind being the bad guy.

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I wish you luck. When I told my MIL who has cold sores and passed them down to her own 2 adult children, never to kiss my child she got angry with me and her whole family was against me. However, I don't care what they think, I don't want my child to get the herpes virus just because the MIL can't control her lips. There are many ways to show affection, kissing is not necessary and most kids don't even want to be kissed by their grandparents, being kissed by their parents is more than enough.

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Tell them that you don't want anybody to kiss your baby. If they mess with the boundaries take your baby out of their arms. They quickly gonna learn that YOU decide whats best for your baby

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just tell them your rules before they come visit and as they come in to the home have them wash their hands ❤️ the reaction I got from family was “wow what a good mom you are”. regardless, their reaction to your request is not your problem 🙂 you have your own family now and you get to make the rules that work best for you!

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My baby is 10months, can i change my mind about tolerating kisses on the cheek and top of head or will she be fine now?

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absolutely you can change your mind. It’s not always about what’s best just for babies health. It’s what makes you and baby comfortable. And do not let anyone say ‘but you used to let us’ as their excuse for still doing it.

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My daughter is over 2 now, and i still enforce the no kissing rule.
I dont care what people say. They dont NEED to kiss my child
And she dusnt need to be getting ill

We had the usual backlash when we first told people (mostly inlaws, as my family ain't a big kissing family anyway)

We still have a constant battle with FIL as he thinks he's above our rules and constantly tries to do what he wants
We constantly get the 'shes my granddaughter'

The only thing i can say is to stay consistent and strong. The first time you give in or dont correct them, they will see that as fair game

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@Chelsea Now at 2, it's about body autonomy/body boundaries. She is his granddaughter, but she is also her own person. Maybe she doesn't want to give him a kiss (or hug or whatever)

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Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

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6

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

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16

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

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Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!

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Activities with baby

I’m so tired of not finding enough things to do with my 10 month old baby boy. What do you guys do to keep them engaged. I’m not giving him any screen time actually he’s not interested either in watching tv.
Any ideas and tips what to do with them I’m so tired 😣

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12

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

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