What would you do?

I’m sorry 😥 I’d be so angry coz why can’t he be honest???

yes I understand totally about not wanting to overwhelm etc however to me, they need to be open and honest at where his life is at now and if they want to be a part of that or not. Child is 7 if that helps with context. Contact was stopped by the mother due to him not wanting a relationship with her. It’s all very messy. I feel the child is being used as she is sour he has moved on with his life but that was her choice to stop the contact. I think I’m just going to have to let him deal with it and not pass judgement for the time being until it’s actually impacting my child’s life. I just wanted to see people’s thoughts who are neutral to the situation xx

I don’t get why people are like this. My babies dad (I’m currently 31 weeks) has another child from a similar situation - wasn’t with the mum but had a one night stand kind of thing. He doesn’t have contact with child (not sure on details but he dumped me whilst pregnant so who knows if it’s him or her stopping contact). However his mum and sister see this other child regularly. I was speaking to his sister about my baby as they want to be involved with her too and I said it would be lovely if one day she could meet her sister (she’s around 10/11 years now) and she said she defo will but we’re not allowed to say sister to respect the mothers wishes. I found that super weird because she is her sister and them aunty/nan etc. Like it’s more weird to meet up with people and not know they are family. I think it’s about control tbh can’t think of any other reason why people are like this xx

Dad should be honest. You have every right to be upset and there is absolutely No excuse. Even the child of his previous affair will learn eventually, he should just tell the truth

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve even suggested that he doesn’t use the term sister as not to be full on and say he has a baby and if they ask if that is my sister then yes it is as that’s helping to make sense in their head. And it’s definitely a control thing. I can put money on him not getting that text saying he can see them if I hadn’t of had a baby which is said really as I’d never put my own child in that position. It’s awful really how bitter people get xx

Honestly both kids are innocent in this situation and I think you should think about what’s best for them first. First child who’s older deserves to see her dad (I know that’s out of your control) and we can assume the mother is a bit bitter and using her child as a pawn in this case of course your man is gonna oblige and do what he needs to do to see his child. Even if he’s fully honest then what? Are you looking for him to be honest to the other mother or the child? The child doesn’t need all that info as she barely knows her own father. Do you want her to grow up thinking “my daddy left me to build a family with someone else?” No he probably doesn’t want that and that child won’t be able to understand that until she’s older because mom might be lying on him telling her things you never know and I know that’s not your problem

But I don’t see the harm in just waiting it out a bit until he can build a bond with her and then introduce his new child (yours) into the picture. As your child is younger I can assume yours will have more attention and kids are not that dumb they understand stuff they just can’t put their feelings into words most of the time. Dont end up bitter about it like his first baby mother instead encourage him to build a bond with his both his kids as long as he can reassure you no funny business is happening. I think a man who wants to see his kids regardless with who is a beautiful thing. No judment just offering a different perspective

Something is off. Why all of sudden now. After you had baby. Doesn't sit right with me . And sorry to be blunt honest fuck what that chick has to say. I'm sorry, obviously there is a reason why there has been no contact. There is absolutely no reason why nothing should be mentioned at all. Do they r3qlly wanna wait till they are older when they have 1000000 questions and you say the one wrong thing, and then they hate you. Everything needs to be laid out on the table beforehand. They are just coming into the picture who are they to have demands and you keep quiet. This is just my opinion. I can be completely wrong . The entire situation is bull shit I wish nothing but live and respect for you. If you need to vent more, my inbox is always open ❤️

Well the hard truth is thats his child regardless and nothings going to change that. If he’s going to do what he has to, to see his kid he will. Of course the whole thing is shady but what can you really do? Thats his child too 🤷🏾‍♀️

well exactly so he will do whatever it takes. However I think the situation is very damaging for the child as I’ve now found out that they have been asking to see and know about their ‘dad’ for 2 years. So why now I’ve had a baby? Of course anyone would think that’s shady. I also really think in order to form a trusting relationship you need to be open about the fact you have other children, do they want her to find out when she’s 18? I think that would be a lot more damaging. But thank you for your perspective, like I said I just want to hear peoples opinions who have no emotional attachment to the situation so that I know the best way to deal with it🫶🏻

Agreed 100% and like I said just giving a different perspective I don’t know the full story at the end of the day