Messaging a woman he dated before me

Can I ask, how did you find the messages?

iPhones store recently deleted messages. You either push the top right corner and that option will pop up or you press the back arrow in the top left corner and it’ll show you where the recently deleted messages are

What made you look through his phone? Don't you trust him?

The would make me really uncomfortable. Your gut was telling you something was going on, honor that. Talk to him about it.

It sounds like maybe there wasn’t anything sexually explicit at that point but he’s still playing with fire. See if you can reel him back in, make him feel secure to tell you the truth, then go from there.

Agreed

He knows what he did was wrong, that’s why he deleted them. Talk to him about it calmly if possible.

I never understand the argument "the woman doesn't trust him is the issue" when you clearly found him being inappropriate. I would be very hurt to find that it definitely deserves some conversations with him, I'm sorry he is acting that way

that’s such a silly question. I trust my husband but had a hunch that I confirmed.

I trust my husband and I've never gone through his phone. It's not good that you felt you had to do that rather than talk to him about it

Nope boundaries crossed there she obviously sent him a pic to gain a compliment and that’s a no no

I’m happy for you and how secure you feel in your relationship. This group is called “marriage help” people are looking for advice on all sorts of marriage concerns. Your comment was unhelpful. Congrats to you though.

You asked for peoples thoughts. You're not always going to get comments that you might be happy with. Its just a shame you felt you couldn't talk to him. Instead go through his phone. Not a sign of a good marriage

thank you Emma. You are correct.

I trusted mine fully but then had that gut intuition and kinda blew it off. He worked cable so he had reason to be at random houses everyday. But he was acting funny one day and was texting and I asked who he was texting and he said “nobody” so I pulled up his message on the computer and he was texting some bitch that felt comfortable enough to ask him for $200……o told him tell that bitch RN to stop texting you, he did and her response was “why are you being so mean”TF he says he never cheated “with her” o ono he’s cheated before cause he admitted cause he gave me and STd one time and I caught him the other time.

It's obvious you don't trust him, hence going through his phone as far as messages he has deleted
But it looks like you are right to not trust him so 🤷🏼‍♀️

if that’s so obvious, why emphasize it? I didn’t ask “should I trust him?” That’s not the point of the post.

Talk to him about how she isn’t trusting him so that he can lie to her and permanently delete his messages so that she would never find out the truth?

We have intuition for a reason. She did the right thing.

I dont think being friends with your ex is wrong.... but hiding and deleting texts? That is.

Id talk to him about it, but make sure you're calm and be ready to hear things you don't want to hear. Be ready to decide if it's worth leaving and what you will or won't leave for

I’m glad you found out now. You were Right to go through his phone. Always trust your gut!