For the moms who have already had babies before, what is something that took you by surprise after the baby was born that you wish you had known beforehand?

I thought it would bring my husband and I closer, but all the opposite. Resentment is a real thing, he’s very supportive but I still struggle with it. We both love and show love to our little boy but find it so hard to be romantic and nice to each other as we’re always pointing out who is doing what!

Worrying about how many times they pee and poop for the first month 😂

The biggest one though is how much a newborn demands physical touch and wants to be held. It totally makes sense that it’s in their nature to want mom but I didn’t expect it. Once I accepted it and saw it as my “job” it was much easier for me to give it.

Family having negative opinions on the name, and second guessing myself for months about it.
Also was prepared for physical/vaginal recovery to be horrible, but it wasn’t bad at all; actually my milk coming in was harder

They told us not to put her in the bath until her umbilical cord fell off. I took it as don’t give her a bath at all. My mom was like wtf is wrong with you!? You’re supposed to sponge bathe them apparently but no one told me that lol my poor nasty baby didn’t have a bath for like 5 days after we got home 🤦‍♀️

@Maria I agree with this. Any issues I have had in my relationship it's magnified it 100x. Even after 11 years. Its HARD

you definitely do not need to fully sponge bathe them. These babies are getting spot treatment all day every day! I just started rinsing mine in the shower with me when he was a couple weeks old, still as needed. If it ain’t dirty don’t wash it, that baby skin is so sensitive!

Breastfeeding does not necessarily come easily or naturally. If you want to do it, ask for help, and don't feel like you're asking for too much help.

Once a month hit, it was like something clicked. Like my daughter and I just understood each other. We knew each other's routines, I knew exactly what she needed, we just got each other. And then again at 3mo we just clicked even more. It's a weird distinct feeling that I'll never forget! So don't get down on yourself in the first month. It's a transition. But you'll get through it together and it makes your bond even stronger!

I also fully agree with Maria's comment. My daughter will be 3 in June and we're welcoming number two in may and there is still resentment there.

Certain family members over stepping boundaries, all the Luscious thick hair I grew falling out and baby actually having to learning how to latch. Breast feeding was hard my nipples were sore and cracked.

Ohhh the milestones caught me off guard too. Each one is like a reward 😭 my son is 2 now and he shocks me every day with the things he’s learning and picking up on

How much numbers took over my life for the first 6 months. Oz in breast milk, hours before next feed, number of diapers, how much did I pump.

I just begging I don't let it take over again

I wish I had taken a breastfeeding class and had more support in it. Yes 'fed is best' but I feel like that experience was stolen from me because I didn't know how to ask for help or what help I needed. It lead to me being an extreme under supplier for a little over a year of exclusively pumping. It took such a toll on my mental health and self worth as a mother. I wish I could have breastfed my baby directly without supplementing.

A positive thing though was watching my husband become an amazing father and falling more in love with him. Our first is almost 3 and she couldn't have a better daddy 🥰

Cluster feeding - Theory vs reality. It was brutal.

I wasn’t prepared for the mood swing/hormone change after giving birth. Like I knew my hormone levels were going to drop astronomically but I don’t think I was mentally prepared for it enough to be self-aware as to how it was impacting my communication with others and my attitude. I usually try to be optimistic and grateful and I kinda just let the hormones act as an excuse for my behavior. Obviously mom’s deserve so much grace because it’s a biological reality that we can’t avoid but I want to be better mentally and more kind to my support systems this time around

Everything for me was kinda expected... Clipping his nails was scary at first such little fingers. But I got used to it

I wanted to divide tasks and talk about them before baby but husband did not.

How unhelpful it can be to have people over to “help.” I realized that I had to be super explicit in my directions/boundaries if anyone wanted to come over to help us.

So many things… and I was a research junkie! They say nobody talks about the first postpartum 💩, but I was totally shocked by how hard I found peeing immediately after birth. They were threatening to re-catheterize me, because apparently my bladder was full but I just couldn’t go… then there was the night sweats, the crazy BO/postpartum stank, the list goes on haha! I was also caught off guard by how long it took me to feel like my son’s mom / feel like a mom at all. I suffered from PPD at first, but it took me a long time to bond with my son compared to my husband.

All the shit you buy that you think you need and never end up using. Wait to over night certain items on Amazon. Also that my baby never slept in her nursery that we put so much pressure on ourselves to get ready before she was born, until she was 5 months old and even then it was short naps lol