I say do it, it will be worth it! No experience personally but for my first birth I was basically neglected for 5 days. They would come in once a day for another pessary and once for a cervix check then otherwise left me to it. I wasn’t even told if there was a shower or bath to use, I was walking around the hospital all night for those first 4 by myself having contractions trying to get things going. It was Hard, and I had my husband there during the day. Some friends have had really good experiences with their doulas.
Do you have friend or family member that could be a birth partner? With my daughter my ex husband was physically there but useless. Luckily my sister was there too and she was my rock. Also had amazing midwives who were around a lot as it was my first.
My husband was with me throughout my first labour, but I also had a midwife in the room with me the whole time, so I wouldn't have been alone. Do you think when it comes to it, your partner really will just sit in the waiting room? Do you have a friend or family member that could be with you?
I’d like to clarify to all that there is no one else I can have with me. I have no sisters, no friends close enough I’d want to ask and my mum is too ill to support me.
My midwife was with me the whole time, except for her lunch break but she made sure I was settled and okay before she left. Not everyone has an amazing experience or midwife but I couldn’t fault mine.
If you can afford it then the doula would be amazing. I have a supportive partner and I would still love to have a doula at my birth! They do work with you in the build up to birth. You can build up a relationship with her when it is totally pot luck which midwife you will get on the day. Also, the rates of needing medical intervention are so much lower with a doula present. Xx
I think if youve been this worried about not having the right support with you to do all that research then it sounds like the benefits outweigh the financial burden for you? If you think you can afford it with payment plan in light of other costs you'll need to pay for baby after birth then you should. I'm really sorry to hear your feeling alone, great you've joined this group x
For my first birth I had a brilliant midwife for the first 8 hours, but then the shift changed and I had a terrible one, which changed my whole experience. I can’t speak to doulas, but I think if I was going it alone and could afford to, the peace of knowing you’re going to have someone there for you through the whole thing could be well worth it. Xx
Hey! Your midwife might be able to make a referral through ‘Doulas without borders’. It’s a charity and doula volunteer free of charge. Good luck!
I have no experience with a doula however during my first labour my midwife was amazing and stayed with me through everything! Initially I was having a water birth but struggled so moved to the labour ward and had an epidural (midwife moved with me) then the baby became distressed and I had to have an emergency c section again my midwife stayed with me during the c section and worked past her finish time until I was settled on the ward afterwards. Can’t comment on every midwife doing this but I had a very positive experience x