Understanding needed

What happened? Did you ask them to leave or did someone ask you to leave?

@Jennifer Exactly. Prepare not live their life for them. She did absolutely nothing and ended up getting kicked out of public school. I kicked her out of my house and the back lash I've gotten from in-laws . All because she's my child. I'm supposed to let her live here her entire life regardless of how she acts. It's not 2004 anymore where nothing was said about young adults getting kicked out.

@Susan kicked my 19 yeer old out. And I'm dealing with so much emotional back lash from it

Amen. I was 16 paying insurance for my car. But in today's society these kids get coddled way too much .

Interesting my culture our kids are our kids until marriage. And if you kids that “bad” as a grown adult you realize your kinda like a failure it’s sound more rough than it is but you own it and apologize to said child ask for a restart and forgiveness ect then you re start as simple as that.

I had a friend who did that. I can't remember how old the girl was but she was made to live with her real dad for three months who apparently was horrible. She came back a different child and more appreciative of what she had back home

@Sierra and that's what I don't understand. How can they not be held accountable for thier decisions. We didn't tell them to go out and do what they do so why do we have to apologize to them. Makes no sense. It's not the parents job to coddle them and tell them it's ok just don't do it again.

@Susan, i did that approach already. It's sad. She truly wants everything placed on a silver platter handed to her, walking down a red carpet. She cares less how she treats people but expects to be treated as royalty

Because your the parent and there the child you failed to raise a kid to make good choices you fails to keep them on the right path and/ or to lead buy example

Thay did not ask for a un-equipped parent.

you ask for a child the second you had unprotected sexual contact

Don’t be lazy and self absorbed do the life long commitment you signed up for.

@Sierra and thats where you arr wrong. We can teach our children right from wrong all the time. So your telling me if they become a killer that's our fault also.bwe put the gun in their hand. I think not. If we tell them what they are doing is wrong. And THEY DECIDE not to make the right decision that is thier fault. I didn't teach her to lie or manipulate and do what she do3s. She decided that on her own.

Thank you. I've been an emotional wreck and have no idea how to move forward. I don't ask to be agreed with. I understand we all parent different

You don’t seem to be wanting clarity… you want someone to make you feel better about something you already feel guilty about and that is manipulation.

My words are coming from years in the field of child hood emotional and social developmental, my degree, and my own personal Italian culture.

Also quick note on what you stated If you child puts a gun to there head it is 100% your fault. You failed to get them recourses, failed to let them know there loved, fails to keep a gun out of there hand. End of story.

@Sierra I'm sorry again your wrong. If you put all the resources in front of them and they clearly don't want them then what.
And no I don't what clarity. I want advice. I'm not one of then parents who did nothing. I did everything for her. I lived her life. I looked for the jobs. I put the applications in. I did all the meetings I got all the therapy for her. She didn't want it.

@Sierra and you wanna throw culture into . Please don't do that. I know some personal and very well-educated Italian who have thrown their children out. I don't think this has anything to do with culture

Pees at a brick wall :(

@Sierra love I'm not here to judge you or hate you. That's not my jib, and it's absolutely disgusting. As a mother, it our job to provide them with stable living clothes, food, a bed, love resources, and schooling. And teach them how to navigate this world. It is not our job to bathe at 19 years old. It is not a job to spoon feed them. It's their responsibility to grow up and do what they are expected at their age. And if they dont choose to, that is their decision. There are some who just truly do not care how much help you get them

Pees at a brick wall :(

because that’s not what I’m talking about in any way shape or form.

you can raise a child with the best and around nothing but love and nurture provide and they can still flip my niece didn’t want for anything literally the best education didn’t have to work and as soon as she went to college the kids she hung around she allowed them to put negativity in her head and now she is a dropout with a child and no dad around and she still gets all the help she needs for her parents even after talking bad to them you can never predict your child’s future church kids are some of the worst in church on Sunday and drinking and doing everything else mon through Saturday