Feminine hygiene

I’m not sure about the meds I don’t think so but I’m not sure , and at this point it’s kinda like idc that’s the vibe I’m getting from her there was once a week or so ago she sat down and under her breath said “ why do instill smell like that or why does it still smells “ something to that effect so she’s aware I just dk how to tell her I don’t wanna hurt her feelings she didn’t really have a support system growing up grew up in foster care so there’s a lot to unpack on that front I just don’t know how to bring it up in a gentle manner

Sit down and talk to her maybe she is depressed or has a mental issue???

Is it just b.o? Is it a product she's using? I might start by making sure the house is stocked with items to help her stay clean? Like baby wipes for the bathroom and laundry detergent etc. You could even treat her to a small shopping spree if you are able? To get a few new clothes- if the smell is stuck on the old ones? As for how to bring it up just be kind and honest the best you can.

I would schedule a time to chat and maybe go with her to buy some femfresh and deoderent and nice shampoo. Maybe start by acknowledging what she has been through but she will feel so much better if she gets things back on track from a cleanliness/self care perspective

maybe something like….hey girl, i need to talj to touch about something uncomfortable, but know it’s out of love for you and not to embarrass you.

to talk*

then…your personal hygiene needs some work. i know you care about ______, _______, and _______, and im sure they care for you too, but in order to reciprocate care, they need to be around you. and one way to get people to be around you is to have good hygiene. bla bla…i dunno! but i hope that gets you started!

I’ve thought about depression and mental health which is why I’ve kinda let is go for as long as I can , I’m not able to go and get those things for her I am a single mom of a special needs child on a limited income she does bring in an income of about half of what I bring in and she’s only paying me 200 a month so she has money to go get those things for herself I’ve offered to give her rides to appts and grocery/ necessity shopping I’ve given her laundry detergent abd she’s gotten it herself and it’s not just b.o it’s more than that it’s very very strong vaginal odor

I just don’t even know How to START a conversation like that and I feel bad because I know that she’s gone through a lot and I don’t want her to feel like she’s unwelcome or anything but she’s got to either go to a dr to get herself checked or something

maybe get her some summer’s eve wash and let her know its for her vag area?

I have the same wash in the shower and she hasn’t touched it when she first moved in she didn’t have any of those things body wash or personal hygiene stuff so she was using mine which I was totally fine with but hadn’t used that particular product I’m not sure if she’s using the body wash all over or what

When you say vaginal odour - do you mean a fishy smell? If so, she probably has BV.

I’m guessing she doesn’t shower daily? Weekly even? Or are we talking monthly?

When you first took her in, did she smell? Or has it just progressed over time?

maybe thats a good way to bring it up…ive noticed yoy havent touched yhe summer’s eve wash. its for your private area…you should use it!

Yes a very strong foul fishy odor,She didn’t smell when she first moved in I’ve even brought it up as if i was confiding in her that I think I had bv or a uti to see if she would maybe ask what it was or something but nothing and no she doesn’t shower that often maybe twice a week when she kinda said something under he breath in regards to her smelling herself she went in the bathroom for about 10 mins and took what I assume was a bird bath cause I heard the sink running but actually full body showers maybe twice a week

I would probably just say to her:

“Listen X, I need to talk to you about something. It’s a sensitive issue so please don’t feel embarrassed as we are both women so I understand. However I’ve noticed there has been a lingering odour left behind when you leave the bathroom or sit on the sofa to the point where I’ve had to steam clean it twice. I can’t keep doing this.

Now I’m guessing from the smell that it is likely to be a vaginal infection. Can you please go to the pharmacy and get some treatment please or make a doctor’s appointment to get a check up before things get worse. They’ve seen it all before, nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. Please be assured I have your best interests at heart and just want you to be happy and healthy whilst we live together. If you need me to come with you, just let me know. But please don’t let this slide, it needs to be dealt with by today. Thankyou”

Omg thank you THIS !!! This is what I needed thank you I just didn’t even know how to begin the convo and I’m a bit sarcastic a bd can come off a bit insensitive or insulting with out meaning to thank you

My brother struggled with this his whole life. From the time he was 12 or 13. His room would stink badddd, he wouldn’t shower, he would hide food in his room, leave dirty plates and stuff. He just really struggles with depression and some other mental disorders I believe….ugh that’s tough! I get your struggle….yea maybe just sit and talk and try to see what her mindset is….sounds like she is depressed. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but maybe you can be the one to help her pull out of it!!

You mentioned a vaginal smell, maybe her ph is off. Can do some research and if you are able to afford some products you can just tell her, "hey! I picked up some lady products today, feel free to use them as you wish"

Or sit down with her and be honest that you feel she may be neglecting some things, and ask her if she would be okay with you helping her figure out some solutions to try. And you can follow up afterwards and ask if those solutions are working or not. If not then explore more options.

Personally I know for myself I always had a vaginal smell issue growing up and I was so self conscious about it. I stopped wearing underwear (no judging please) as it wasn't allowing my bits to breath. I also was never taught that you shouldn't wash your vagina with body wash until this past year 😅 which also helped clear things up for myself.

Also if she is reusing dirty underwear that could be an issue to explore also.