I’m stuck!

Me and my husband recently welcomed our baby to the world and all during the pregnancy he didn’t want to attend any baby classes because ‘he knew what he was doing’ and really reassured me he was going to step up as a dad because neither of us have had very good father figures in our life so ‘he knows what not to be’. Now that our little one is here I do everything, he hasn’t changed a nappy, fed her, he only holds her when I ask him to and even gets annoyed at that. He did the cooking and washing up and some other jobs around the house for a week or two and now he’s back to doing absolutely nothing, he just sits on his arse in-front of the tv or his computer all the time. I co sleep with my little one so he’s decided to sleep on the sofa for now because he doesn’t trust himself not to roll onto her in his sleep and he sleeps from about 2pm to 1am, (yes, during the day) so I’m stuck in the bedroom with our baby unless I go out. We barely spend any time together and he hardly sees our bubs. Whenever I try and address with him that it would be nice to have some help he gets very defensive and pissed off and tells me to shut up. Any advice on how to go about this would be great because I’m losing my mind! I love him to bits and in most other aspects he’s a very good husband but this is driving me up the wall.

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It doesn’t sound like he’s being a supportive partner or parent at all tbh and I would not be putting up with that. He needs a reality check, you’re in this together and with you being limited to your bedroom because he’s asleep downstairs it actually sounds like he’s making it so much worse! If he’s not providing any benefit as a coparent then you may be better off doing it on your own, since you are anyway. Maybe give him an ultimatum, he steps up or he steps out. It’s not fair on you at all, the baby is a joint responsibility and he shouldn’t just get away with doing nothing!!

I second what Hannah said, you both decided to have your little one he needs to step up as a dad tell him that aswell

I agree with everything except co sleeping. If he really is concerned about that then I understand. It is definitely safer to have one parent in bed than any in between two especially if dad is a heavy sleeper. Sounds like he’s falling into stereotypical gender role unfortunately. Any classes in the area you can take together? It’s not really an option if you feel this lonely. Tell him you need it

You’re completely right, the only issue is I do love him and I have no support network family wise so as much as he doesn’t support me with our little one, he is really the only person I have :/

I have absolutely no problem with him not wanting to co sleep, I didn’t mean it to come across that way. I’ve said to him i’m happy to get a floor bed so I can sleep with bubba on the floor and he can have the bed but he chooses to be on the sofa in a separate room. I was just trying to highlight how little time he spends with me and baby. There aren’t any baby classes near us and neither of us drive at the moment so isn’t very easy. He doesn’t like me going out without him either so even if there were it would be a massive fight about me going on my own which I’d probably lose anyway..

He doesn’t like you leaving without him and you have no way to leave the home? Are you safe? I know a lot of us complain about our partners on here but besides being absent and neglectful I hope he isn’t treating you poorly

Yeah, we went through a pretty rough patch about a year ago were he was quite nasty towards me because he struggled with his mental health a lot. He’s got so so much better and I’m so proud of him, I dont feel unsafe with him at all. I think it comes from a place of being protective more than anything. Thank you for the concern though x

Of course. Just wanted to make sure. Please take care of yourself! Hope everything sorts out for you :)

To be honest he needs to step up or leave you shouldn’t be alone with this either he needs to step up or you can do it alone I’m sure your family will support you darling

I don’t have much contact with my family and they’re not very supportive, he really is the only person I have. With most other things he’s absolutely fine its just this that’s starting to get to me x

in our community

3 year old saying teachers hit him at daycare

My son started daycare at 2, he is now 3 and shakes with fear and cries at daycare drop off. He doesn’t want to go and when I ask him why, he says his teacher is mean to him and that she hits him in the back. I put a lot of thought in choosing this daycare. There is one particular teacher that he always says is mean to him. However, there is another teacher that he likes, and he specifically asks for her and is ok to be with her. Could this be true that his teacher hits him? Should I bring it up to the daycare management? Have your children said something similar and it turned out to be true? My husband thinks he is saying this to get out of going to daycare. My son is very attached to me and wants to spend every second of the day with me. He won’t even let his dad do anything for him, it’s always mommy. My heart is breaking. I don’t want to strain our relationship with the daycare, but is it appropriate to bring up my concerns and tell them that my son says he is being hit at daycare? Sorry, it’s a little bit of a rant. Please respond with your thoughts on what you would do.

Advice please

I am in a longterm relationship with a drug addict, he takes K daily to help his anxiety.. apparently.. he doesn’t go over the top and get absolutely out of it, but it is a worry. He owes me £6000, he is in major debt.
We have a 2 year old together and I have been thinking of leaving for a long time, i don’t know why i can’t make the move. The house is in my name, we will not be homeless because he would leave.
I just always hope he would quit, but I just don’t see it happening.
I also worry that his dad will want to see him and be doing drugs or drinking, i know we can have someone there to watch him but i don’t trust his family to watch him as they would let him get away with it 😔
I feel so stuck.

Do kids learn more in nursery or childminders ? Debating where to put my child 😭

Help pleaseee from your experience

Is it cheating?

Husband hasn't been able to have sex with me or cuddle in almost a year. No hello/goodbye kiss. Basically no contact order ig. Today I find hes been following and frequently visiting a sexual FB page and its purely sex content. There were other searches as well. Atp we are married (2 years and 4 years together) we have two kids 3 and 2. He claimed in the past he was ashamed of jerking off and would stop and blah blah.

Would you allow you child to gift their toys to their best friends?

I haven’t yet had this happen yet but our daughter is a very caring and thoughtful little human and may decide to do this eventually. And I’ve heard of this happening with other children. If your child gave away a toy and then wanted it back(after a long amount of time) how would handle it.
A) Would you get them a new one that looks the same.
B) Explain that when we give people gifts we don’t take them back because that’s rude.
C) Go to the parents and get it back.

AITAH?

My husband’s therapist told him to start doing an exercise with me and tell me one thing every day that he’s gained in the last 3 years.

His first response yesterday was our daughter his first born.

I got upset that this was his first response. His defense was that his kids come first and always. Which okay wasn’t fully expecting him to say me or anything BUT we have 2 other kids and he didn’t say the kids he named her specifically.

I get she’s his first born but he spoils her rotten she’s always getting new stuff and toys and things and the other girls really don’t granted my oldest is always getting in trouble and usually grounded and our youngest is still a baby but I can’t help but feel like she’s his favorite and shows it loudly. She’s even his screen saver just her and him.

Am I wrong to have gotten annoyed/upset? I told him I just didn’t think that was gunna be his answer.

Idk maybe I’m taking it out of proportion 🤷🏻‍♀️