Anyone struggling with toxic family?
My mom (and grandmother) are full blown narcissists, and I don’t mean that in the sense we just ‘don’t get along’, they have legitimate psychological problems and all the hallmark signs of narcissistic personality disorder. They are very passive aggressive, don’t respect boundaries, and overbearing.
My partner is white, I’m black. Our baby will obviously be biracial. They constantly make insanely prejudiced, disrespectful comments about white people and the fact my child would be half white. They want me to pick up and move close to home so they can ‘have the baby all the time’ (their words, not mine) and want to NAME my baby.
I am genuinely considering the backlash and need to cut them off when my baby is here. They already seem to think my baby belongs to them, and that they can be flagrantly prejudiced and I’ll allow that anywhere near my made family.
Just wondering if anyone else is going through something with toxic family and how you’re navigating.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
My mother in law is incredibly toxic, overbearing, boundary stomping, and on top of it gets physically aggressive with whoever she wants. So I'm right there with you. She also gets involved with incredibly dangerous men (the last 3 she has legal PFAs on due to abuse) and doesn't care about who she brings them around, so we have had to set clear boundaries and defend them from her multiple times. I'm lucky that my husband is 100% on board with me as well as my sister in law who has no problem calling her mom an idiot and letting her know that if she oversteps then she won't be allowed around our baby at all.
People love saying blood is thicker than water, but the real phrase is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
You don't choose your birth family, but you can sure as hell choose who is part of the family you are making, and who is going to be a good presence in your child's life.
Yess I dnt talk to them some not at all mom occasionally but feel like I shouldn't at all...Mother in law is a you know what too but feel free to msg me if u want
We cut off half out our baby’s relatives because they are the EXACT SAME WAY as you described. And when I say you will not miss it…. YOU WILL NOT. Like there are times you will wonder if it could be different and the moment you speak to one of them… INSTANT reminder of why you needed to walk away in the first place.
Exactly my thought
I also have a very controlling and narsasistic mother. Full like medical diagnosis and medication. My step mother isn't much better though she is trying. My opinion is to keep your baby under supervision with them. She can and will put thoughts into their head while they are young as my own mother and grandmother tried to do to me. Unfortunately I've got a whole family blood line of psycho. I'm just glad I didn't get messed up enough to also be caught in their cycle 😅 I was lucky that my father was not only strong enough to leave her but make sure I got the mental help I needed to not end up hating the world as my mother would have wanted.
Download the Peanut App
