Family coming whenever they please 😩

Mine and my partners family have somehow gotten in to a routine of just showing up whenever suits them..no text or call to say they’re coming and is it ok etc.
my twins are almost 1 and this has been going on since they’ve been born now

Sometimes it’s during nap times and they’ll just sit here until the twins wake 😩 I feel like I’ve lost my only hour or so of the day just making small talk when I could be doing something or conductive or napping myself.

Sometimes they ask but honestly the amount of times people just show up at the door is starting to really wind me up.. it’s happened so many times when I’ve been getting ready to go out and they’ll just say well we’re here now so you go out and we’ll stay here with the twins…. They end up making more work for me as I then have to come home and then take the babies out again later as they need some fresh air and a walk.
They seem to think we’re just available any time they please. Even when they’ve come at awkward times and we’ve told them so they still do it 🥲

It’s great that family care I really appreciate that but I feel we don’t get left alone sometimes.
In the last couple of weeks we’ve had not one day where it’s just been us. There’s someone here every single day 😮‍💨

What do you say to them without being rude?

in our community

Mother

The house is quiet.
Finally, a moment to myself.
I sit on the couch, expressing milk for his next feed.
Time circles my mind.
Do I have enough time to write this?
Should I sleep instead?
It’s getting late.
I should be grateful.
I should be present.
I should… I should.
The guilt.
The intrusive thoughts.
The disconnection from self.
The robotic washing of bottles, clothes, and dishes.
Then the question returns.
Do I have enough time for me?
What me?
Who am I?
Where am I?
I miss her.
I miss me.
Who have I become?
I have become a mother.
I am everything to this little human who will one day call me mum.
His life depends on me with every waking moment.
I give.
And I give.
Then he smiles.
And suddenly I see him
the little human I have nourished with tired eyes,
with time,
with love stretched beyond capacity.
Sometimes I leave to rest.
To breathe.
But even then my mind returns home.
I should be there.
I should be caring for my baby.
Is this normal?
Am I normal?
I feel myself unbecoming the woman I once knew so well.
They say this time is sacred.
And it is.
But it goes fast.
Maybe because we are not fully here in these early days.
We are surviving.
Living on autopilot.
Days blur together.
Until suddenly he shows me something new —
a smile,
a look,
a tiny trick he has learned.
And that moment is priceless.
His beautiful smile.
His big, beautiful eyes.
He is beginning his life
as I share mine
to keep him thriving.
A sacred sacrifice.
A whirlwind.
A shift in reality.
Who am I?
I am mother.

Am I wrong for getting upset?

To make a long story short, we were added to a group chat for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to plan the bachelor party to go to Vegas. So very been boiling about this all day.
I sent one message about finding a babysitter for my kid, and she messaged me privately with a very backhanded comment that I should not discuss anything regarding my son because her husband’s friends do not give a shit ….. as if I am supposed to cater to their interests…. This is my cousin by the way, she only has me, and her sister for family at her wedding the rest are his family and friends.

Am I overthinking this ?

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way from my husband wanting to put my 2 yo daughter in daycare he always brings it up. But mind you I’m a stay at home mom. And my daughter does learn now she’s not getting no 3-4hr learning session but the thing is she knows all her alphabets, she knows her numbers from 1-20, and she knows a good amount of animals, and she even knows a few sign language that she caught on from Mrs. Rachelle at 1 yo ! She’s very smart and picks up on alot of words pretty fast. But knowing my daughter she doesn’t have a long attention span so I do what I know how she’ll learn best, she learn through music, we watch videos, and I physically show her and question her. But sometimes I feel offended when he brings up she should be in daycare around other kids learning as if I’m not with her everyday .

Does anyone have a child that’s a bit “different” when it comes to in law’s family? 😅😂

My sister in law is having a conversation with my 4year old and ask what their favorite tv show is and my 4/yo response “stranger things” and absolutely no comment when she said that 😂
She ask what is their favorite food and my 4yo says “spam” their response is “huh? What? “
Then asks what their favorite candy is and my 4y/o responds “no I don’t eat that. It’s not good for you” no response again 😂
I feel like there’s an expectation they have towards my kids
If they ask what their favorite tv show is they’ll expect a “Mickey mouse Minnie Mouse” that type of stuff for ex
Please tell me I’m not the only one and how do yall feel about it?😅😂

Husband is happy with only one kid, not me

We had another conversation about it tonight. We had our beautiful daughter 10 months ago, he is very happy to have her and totally in love. But he has personal/financial goals and is happy the way things are. He is looking forward for her to be a bit older and to be able to share more with her.

Me on the other hand am very sad about not having a second baby. I always viewed my life with two kids and am an only child and it seems I would have loved to have a sibling. I know kids don't always get along but me and my husband are both only childs... And I feel it would be great for her to have a sister or brother to share life with.

He says he is 90% sure he only wants one and I keep getting my hopes up on basically nothing... Did anyone go through something similar ? What happened ? And are you happy with your decision to have one more or stop at one ?

My mil is the reason I see my husband as less of a man

LA little back story, my mil got a new bf last year and a month into dating they insisted he be called grandpa. Fast forward to a few months ago mother-in-law and her boyfriend‘s behavior has turned nasty after father-in-law has come back into the picture. After mother-in-law and her boyfriend’s behavior at family events, such as my son’s baptism, my Christmas party and my father’s Christmas party, I told my husband to tell his mom that her boyfriend is no longer to be called Grandpa. fast-forward three months and he still hasn’t told her because he doesn’t want to upset her feelings. Now her bf wants to bring his son over to my house to meet my kids or his “grandkids” and they didn’t ask my opinion. I told my husband how I feel about it and he’s not telling her no because he doesn’t want to upset her. I’m starting to see my husband as less of a man because of his mom and putter her above me.

Am I over reacting? What should I do?