AITA?

Definitely NTA. It's not her house. She can get her stuff out of your house

You have every right to arrange your house how you see fit. I would definitely feel as if she’s invading when she should be a guest at most. I’d honestly put all her stuff in boxes/bags and tell her to come grab it because you’ve arranged baby’s room. I personally find that when I tell my in-laws after the fact then I don’t have as much argument or push back as telling them before or during. Me and hubby plan on buying a farm hours away from the city (and in-laws) and we’ve agreed only to tell them after we’ve bought it and sold our current home. Then it’s a done deal, they can be grumpy about it, but they can’t change it because it’s already done.

NTA

Nta. She should’ve never done all that and it’s your house.

Possibly petty but I'm here for it. I'd do the same thing. Heck I would have found a reason to not have a guest room a long time ago if that were the case. That's just abuse of a guest room. I'd force her to get her things out of there and if not then just say you'd sell them then because they are taking up space 🤷‍♀️ I have no room in my life for that kind of bullshit 😂

I don't personally think they need their own separate playrooms and I think that'll be difficult for you when they're a bit older and want to play with one another, or when one adult is alone with both kids. But you should most certainly use your own house however you like. I'd bite the bullet and have the real conversation you want to have with your MIL about boundaries instead... ideally with your husband leading on it as she's he's mother. I'd give her a box or a drawer to keep bits in but explain she can't take over the whole room. If she still won't get it perhaps make the room a bit more multifunctional like get a daybed that expands out but use the extra space for a desk, laundry or whatever so it's not just a dedicated guest space.

It’s your house. No reason why his mother who lives out of state should be taking up a room you can use for your family

Of course you're NTA but you both have to set some boundaries with her.

It’s incredibly rude for her to just decide that space in your home is exclusively for her. Especially if you live away from both of your families and everyone has people who want to come to visit. It’s a complete imposition to leave that much stuff at someone else’s home.if she kept a basket of toiletries so she didn’t have to bring shampoo in a toothbrush every every visit, that’s much more understandable than taking over as much space as it sounds like she has

She did live in our state right before we bought our house. She moved a lot of her stuff to her new home but bc the 2 states are different climate totally so much she never moved and just brought here. She has a place in our state too about an hour away. Its complicated but she made her mother live there. She doesnt know im pregnant yet. I havnt wanted to deal with her. Im rly hoping she just takes a hint once she knows. But idk she can lack social cues, probably intentionally. She literally would be here when other family came to see our new home and would tell them its her room. And id always say its the guest room. This was before so much of her stuff was here i really thought she was trying to be funny. So our son is my bfs. My stepchild. And when baby is born he will be almost 8 yrs old. He is also only here every other weekend. And his play room has a portable heater and ac unit but that is actually the only room in our home not connected to central heat and ac i guess bc it was an addition?

That playroom is downstairs. The room i will use as a playroom for my baby is caddycorner to my bedroom. It makes sense to me because i can do things in my room laundy etc and see the baby at the same time. If his son is here and wanted to play downstairs id never leave my baby in the room or with the other child unattended for manyy reasons i dont care to disclose. I truly think me gettind rid of the guest room she will assume she can stay in our sons room when she wants to bc he doesnt live here primarily. And i dont want that. Its still his room. His space. And being she does have a home in the state just an hour away she doesnt need to keep anything here. Its actually funny bc when we were looking at this house she kept saying to my boyfriend its too big dont buy it blah blah and he didnt care he just would say how much i loved it and he was putting in an offer. Yes i hate that she made that space hers and how she acts about it. My family isnt expectant of much my one room downstairs has a bathroom

Connected and french doors that it can be closed off and private enough to put a blow up matress in and they would be fine with that. They also wouldnt stay more than 2 or 3 nights. She buys a one way ticket and then decides when shell leave and intrudes... like we didnt invite her to dinner with us on valentines day or our anniversary but she was there!! In fact her sister had stuff here too and was staying in our other sons room and when he was here she would sleep on our couch. She hates animals and i have a large dog and 2 cats so she doesnt stay anymore but also bc i made her feel very unwelcome... they would kinda gang up on me and think only theyre feelings are valid... i lost a baby in my third trimester and i was stuggling with grief i was annoyed bc she was here for 5 weeks with her sister and not for support for personal agenda. We were arguing and she told me that she lost a baby she conceived thru ivf 8 yrs ago and she was 7 weeks preg and that is was the SAME THING as me losing my son in my 3rd

Trimester. This was the most insensitive thing i ever heard but these statements are unacceptable and i dont care if she visits when invited or she says shes stopping by but i dont want overnight visits or this shit where shes here minimum 2 weeks.

All of that needs to stop and your husband needs to stop coddling her. It doesn’t matter that she is his mom she can’t do whatever she wants! Sorry for your loss and that is very is wrong of her to say. For your husband to let her intrude on your valentines/anniversary plans is disgusting. He is clearly a mommy’s boy

He doesnt like to upset anyone and like i get it but boundaries! Hes her only kid its like she has no one else to bother. And thank u its been a rough journey even being preg now as happy as i am im also beyond terrified. The fact she said that to me just gave me such an ick. Or that she sends things to me addressrd only to me and theyll say love mom. I dont have a great relationship with my mom and shes said things to me like honey im ur mom too. No tf ur not. Thats some ego shit to think u can just say that. Shes only known my boyfriends best friend (male) for 4 or 5 yrs and both of his parents died in the last yr and she makes references about him being her other child and being his mom shell sign xmas gifts to him love.mom its gross.

Your house do what you like. If she comes over she can stay on a air mattress.