Mom instinct’s

Outside of going to school you have described me to a T. I wanted kids but my partner was on the fence regarding at and now our first is 2 and a half while my second is 3 months. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love my children but being a stay at home parent ontop of the default parent is so hard for time for myself to recoup energy for the next day. The not listening, the screaming, the everything is so overwhelming some days and it feels like my partner doesn't understand that whatsoever. I know I have more patience then he does but he's in a depressed state right now which makes jt even harder for me because now now feel like I have even less help

Honestly it's okay to have these days, and have burnout, be over stimulated. Loving every part of motherhood is impossible. Be kind to yourself xx

I feel you. I’m the deufalt parent. My child’s bio dad isn’t in the picture. I have a fiancé and he’s great with my child, but he doesn’t spend near the time I do with her on top of some how keeping a 3.9 GPA in college… I work part time as well.. I’ve raised my kid since new born by my self .. my fiancé can be helpful. But sometimes it feels like having a tooth pulled to get him to no go hide in his office… the house is never clean… I cook most of the meals… self care feels like a joke

Omg hun! Give yourself a pat on the back first of all that's incredible having a high GPA! I'd sit down and talk with him about what you need/expectations are with your home. I'm in the same boat though my husband will stay in the kitchen doing things he wants to and not things that need to be done

Try to set some rules for your kids it may be hard at first because ofc they wont listen and if your too lenient they tend to get out of control my mom had 6 kids and none of us ever drew on a wall ever you need to discipline your kids and that doesnt mean hitting them so they can understand certain things arent ok like…when mommy is studying it’s quiet time meaning books or colouring, painting whatever it may be. When you see your child drawing on the walls give them paper to draw on instead of they don’t listen then take away their coloring pencils/paint whatever it may be

my child is 2 rules don’t register in their tiny brain. I set rules but they are bound to be broken because they are a toddler

That’s ok you just gotta stick to it eventually they will get it

And when they don’t listen just take it away maybe give them something they can’t destroy the house with like stuffed toys, sponge blocks

Young children will definitely have you feeling on edge with overstimulation and burnout! It’s definitely not a burden to have a sitter. Try to join some local online groups - and there’s often local babysitter groups where moms will recommend local sitters. You need some you time outside of childcare, work, and school! You definitely also need to talk with your fiancé about childcare responsibilities since you plan to get married. It’s his eventual step child. You may have to show him how to play with a toddler and keep them entertained, some easy meals and snacks, etc. Even with my husband being the father of my kids, he doesn’t really know what to do with them without help/ instruction except for my 5 year old since he’s big enough to play video games or board games, build legos or go for bike rides, etc.

my fiancé does an amazing job with my kiddo. He plays with her and feeds her. He’s much more patient . The biggest problem is when I’m home he backs off in helping a lot . I work 3days a week so those nights he takes care of her while I’m gone. It’s just the help while I’m home in the evenings. He has a side hustle that’s been on a successful streak. I understand his want to work on it. Still feels like have to put my work on the back burner .

And unfortunately I can’t offer much money for a sitter things are financially tight no matter how hard we try to save. bills food gas is what we budget

thanks😅 it’s exhausting. He does have stuff he does on the side as a hustle so I understand his want to spend time on it.. but he gets consumed in projects

That's legit my man! He'll get stuff but then get so consumed by it jts crazy. Like dude where's my time for hobbies?

We all get it. You have to find daycare bc the alternative is not being the best parent you can be due to
Stress and your kid deserves better. I recently found a sitter for same reason-

it’s probably just a guy thing in general

I don’t have the financial resources to do So. Government daycares don’t follow the rules closely . I don’t think they are safe. Mostly because I worked in one while I was pregnant and saw what can happen behind closed doors.

What you’re doing is so relentlessly tough, here’s some pages which have helped me when I’m struggling with the toddler behaviour and it’s getting me down

https://www.instagram.com/the.dad.vibes?igsh=MTV0dncxNGdsY3pkZw==

https://www.instagram.com/nurturedfirst?igsh=MTYzamNvczkwMXhsdQ==

https://www.instagram.com/dr.siggie?igsh=eWxvOWp0ZHV1NnB6

https://www.instagram.com/dr.martha.psychologist?igsh=MTB1ejN5ZzViaWN3

https://www.instagram.com/themompsychologist?igsh=azJjYXFmOTg2dnlt

https://www.instagram.com/transformingtoddlerhood?igsh=ZjA2MTVmYjE2cjQx

https://www.instagram.com/caringparent?igsh=MThnczg5eW0zbGtqMw==

I follow loads so let me know if you want any others!