Not feeling connected

I’m a single mom (my baby daddy has given me problems throughout pregnancy so i don’t want to be with him even though he wants to be with me again). I did gave him a chance but he doesnt even ask about his son or how i’m doing and expects me to be a babysitter and doesnt want to get rid of his bad habits so i stop talking to him. My son is 4 months old, i love him so much but lately i havent been feeling connected with him…. Im taking care of my baby on my own while his dad is out having no responsibilities and i have no life. His dad brags he can take care of the baby on his own but then acts like a cheapskate when it comes to his own son. So some days when im feeling disconnected to my son, i almost want to give him up to his father since he thinks he can handle everything on his own and doesnt understand the things i went through pregnancy and raising a baby on my own. But somehow i always stop myself from thinking that and tell myself “remember the days in the hospital when you held your son and it was just you two in the whole world?” And that makes me feel connected to him again. I didnt feel like this the first 3 months, this is a recent feeling. I might have a convo with my parents and let them know sometimes i dont feel connected. Its not like im not happy, I absolutely love and adore my baby, i’m happy hes here in my life, i just dont understand why i feel disconnected to him sometimes. Does anyone ever feel this way? What can i do to not feel this way? Are there any activities i can do with my son? I do tummy time, talk/play to him, let him play with toys, hold him, etc.

in our community

I really hate to come out here and tell my business about what’s going on with my life in my kids, but I had no choice

I just came back from a parent teachers conference meeting and they telling me that my second daughter, who just turned eight about a week ago that she barely know how to read and she has speech problems… I already feel like shit because it’s not that I’m doing my job. It’s because I worked a lot, and and every time, me and my first oldest daughter, trying to teach you how to read, she gets insecure and thinking that we making fun of her, but we’re not!! I felt like a shitty mother I don’t know what to do.

Mother

The house is quiet.
Finally, a moment to myself.
I sit on the couch, expressing milk for his next feed.
Time circles my mind.
Do I have enough time to write this?
Should I sleep instead?
It’s getting late.
I should be grateful.
I should be present.
I should… I should.
The guilt.
The intrusive thoughts.
The disconnection from self.
The robotic washing of bottles, clothes, and dishes.
Then the question returns.
Do I have enough time for me?
What me?
Who am I?
Where am I?
I miss her.
I miss me.
Who have I become?
I have become a mother.
I am everything to this little human who will one day call me mum.
His life depends on me with every waking moment.
I give.
And I give.
Then he smiles.
And suddenly I see him
the little human I have nourished with tired eyes,
with time,
with love stretched beyond capacity.
Sometimes I leave to rest.
To breathe.
But even then my mind returns home.
I should be there.
I should be caring for my baby.
Is this normal?
Am I normal?
I feel myself unbecoming the woman I once knew so well.
They say this time is sacred.
And it is.
But it goes fast.
Maybe because we are not fully here in these early days.
We are surviving.
Living on autopilot.
Days blur together.
Until suddenly he shows me something new —
a smile,
a look,
a tiny trick he has learned.
And that moment is priceless.
His beautiful smile.
His big, beautiful eyes.
He is beginning his life
as I share mine
to keep him thriving.
A sacred sacrifice.
A whirlwind.
A shift in reality.
Who am I?
I am mother.

Am I overthinking this ?

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way from my husband wanting to put my 2 yo daughter in daycare he always brings it up. But mind you I’m a stay at home mom. And my daughter does learn now she’s not getting no 3-4hr learning session but the thing is she knows all her alphabets, she knows her numbers from 1-20, and she knows a good amount of animals, and she even knows a few sign language that she caught on from Mrs. Rachelle at 1 yo ! She’s very smart and picks up on alot of words pretty fast. But knowing my daughter she doesn’t have a long attention span so I do what I know how she’ll learn best, she learn through music, we watch videos, and I physically show her and question her. But sometimes I feel offended when he brings up she should be in daycare around other kids learning as if I’m not with her everyday .

My mil is the reason I see my husband as less of a man

LA little back story, my mil got a new bf last year and a month into dating they insisted he be called grandpa. Fast forward to a few months ago mother-in-law and her boyfriend‘s behavior has turned nasty after father-in-law has come back into the picture. After mother-in-law and her boyfriend’s behavior at family events, such as my son’s baptism, my Christmas party and my father’s Christmas party, I told my husband to tell his mom that her boyfriend is no longer to be called Grandpa. fast-forward three months and he still hasn’t told her because he doesn’t want to upset her feelings. Now her bf wants to bring his son over to my house to meet my kids or his “grandkids” and they didn’t ask my opinion. I told my husband how I feel about it and he’s not telling her no because he doesn’t want to upset her. I’m starting to see my husband as less of a man because of his mom and putter her above me.

Am I over reacting? What should I do?

Correcting eating with hands?

My 1yo eats with utensils perfectly fine, my 3yo is capable of doing it too but doesn't like to and prefers to use her hands. I don't know how to correct this at home without it sounding lowkey like nonsense. We have finger foods, other cultures eat "messy" foods with their hands, we teach to eat until your tummy feels comfortable so idk how to explain that even tho eating with her hands is the most comfortable that she isn't supposed to?? Because even as an adult I don't see a problem with it unless it'd be disrespectful to the chef/host 😅 Do I just say we need to practice at home just in case a future chef/host would be offended by it? 😭

Am I wrong for getting upset?

To make a long story short, we were added to a group chat for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to plan the bachelor party to go to Vegas. So very been boiling about this all day.
I sent one message about finding a babysitter for my kid, and she messaged me privately with a very backhanded comment that I should not discuss anything regarding my son because her husband’s friends do not give a shit ….. as if I am supposed to cater to their interests…. This is my cousin by the way, she only has me, and her sister for family at her wedding the rest are his family and friends.