Rainbow Babies: TTC, Pregnancy, & After Pregnancy Or Infant Loss

TW miscarriage

TW - miscarriage

After 9.5 weeks of anxiety about how our pregnancy was progressing, we’ve just lost our second baby 😞
We began trying at the start of this year and we were lucky to fall pregnant straight away. We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks and then at 9 weeks found out the heart had stopped and I had a missed miscarriage. I then went on to have a D&C at 12 weeks but we didn’t do any genetic testing.

After the MMC I went down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out as much as I could about fertility and testing to try to limit the risk of this happening again. I remember at the time thinking I can go through this once but that’s it (how naive). I read it starts with the egg and ordered every supplement it recommended. I went to acupuncture every week. I stopped drinking caffeine and alcohol. I did loads of tests and found out my amh was 5.5 pmol at 32 and panicked.

We were lucky to fall pregnant again 2 cycles after the miscarriage. I was delighted and thought I was so lucky but at week 4 I started spotting and thought the worst. We went for scans weekly from here and after episodes of bright red blood gushing out of me the baby was still growing and had a HB (we were shocked). I was diagnosed with a SCH that grew to 4cm. I have spotted continuously and should be 9 weeks 4 days now but at a scan today there was no HB. The baby measured 9 weeks 3 days and we could make out lots of features like its head and arms and legs but it was just lying there with no HB. I’m so devastated that this is happening to us and I don’t know why?!

We’re both 32 years old. I have 4 fibroids that my consultant now wants to remove before we try again so this means 6 months before we can conceive again. My gut tells me to go with IVF so we can test the embryos. I also wonder if the losses are something to do with when the placenta takes over? Does anyone have advice for where we go from here? I feel so traumatised. I’ve been through the bulk of the first trimester twice this year and will have no baby. How do people deal with this?

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Hi, sorry about your loss, I see you are taking supplements, but what about your partner? I saw online mens contribution needs to be of a certain quality as well as your egg. X

So sorry for your losses, it's life changing and very hard; give yourself time to grieve. I can recommend Tommy's and The Worlds' Worst Girl Gang on Facebook, I got so much support there.

I had two miscarriages at 9 weeks last year and am now about to have my rainbow. Usually early miscarriage like that is due to chromosomal abnormalities, which is usually just the result of bad luck ie. An egg that is not good quality. My friend described it as playing Russian roulette with her eggs. I know that's maybe not a nice way to put it, but most women who have recurrent early miscarriage find this and are eventually successful in pregnancy. So I'd say keep trying. And get lots and lots of support. Wish you all the best. Be kind to yourself. X

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