Should I give up trying with my sister?
Because of some weird dynamics between her and her husband - these days I am only allowed to go to their place when invited (for birthdays & special occasions) otherwise I only see my sister and my niece once a week or two at my parents place for a couple of hours
When my niece was born 10 years ago I would go and help my sister out once a week with the baby and chores and I shower my niece with gifts and change all my plans to make time for my sister and niece on the weekend at my parents house so that I can spend time..
She will give me only two slots that she is free on the weekend and only tell me Friday night when she will come
Now I have a LO who is 3.5 months old and she has visited once and the other two times was when I took him to my parents house
I’ve asked her to come visit me on many occasions but she always says it’s too hard and she’s too busy and better if I meet her at our parents house
My baby is still little and it’s a lot to keep taking him over every week and I’m bottle feeding and pumping
It’s been hard for me to accept because she is my sister, but I think it’s getting to a point I need to let go?
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That’s difficult because you helped her. Although most things shouldn’t be transactional, as sisters, that is something that should be. My sister had her baby in February, by no means am I financially secure but I went from Texas to Jersey to stay with her and do the same you did. Chores, cooking, bathing and just time with her as sisters. I just had my baby on June 20th so he’s a month old today. My sister is coming here on the 24th to see him. Without my mention, she said she wants to soak up as much time as she can with us, doing the same thing I did for her.
You deserve reciprocation in family dynamics. Although that’s the way it should be, it’s not always like that. With the rest of my family, it isn’t sunshine and rainbows. I’m in this boat with the rest of them. It hurts.
My thing was, if you won’t be here for me or even send a text to ask me how me and the baby are, I’m just going to step away. I have a baby to care for and I’m postpartum. The last thing I need is to feel -
continuing-
The last thing I need to feel is a lack of care and support, especially during this time. I don’t want to permanently eliminate them from my life but I need to simply step away and worry about my family now. This is just what I choose but i thought I’d give my feedback.
So is she not coming over because of her husband or because she’s lazy
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