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Baby Daddy Drama

“Navigating a Challenging Relationship While Pregnant”

At 25 weeks pregnant, my hormones have been off the charts. I met the father of my child in November, and things started off great—he was sweet, attentive, compassionate, and very generous. We found out we were pregnant in late January to early February, and things seemed okay despite the short time we’d known each other.

I began to notice he was at my house every day, slowly moving his things into my garage. I didn’t realize this at first because I was commuting four hours round trip for work every day. By April, we started arguing. His attitude became rude, and he blamed everything on me. He has very traditional views on gender roles, believing a woman’s job is to be quiet, listen to her man, and be nurturing. As a single mom to an 8-year-old son for the past seven years, I told him I don’t believe in strict gender roles, especially in my own home.

In April or May, he lost his vehicle due to a failure to appear in another city. He was pulled over while driving to work, and I bailed him out using my mortgage money, telling him I needed the money back ASAP. Days passed without repayment, and when I pressed him, he told me that if I got evicted for being a month late, it was for the best. This shocked me. I had to borrow money from friends to cover the mortgage, despite my good income, due to high housing costs.

As time went on, he became meaner and smoked weed in my garage despite my objections. He called me derogatory names and insisted that a woman’s job is to support her man. He previously had a similar dynamic with his eldest daughter’s mother, but I believe relationships should be mutually supportive. His lack of contribution and disrespect took a toll on me, especially while pregnant.

In June, I was let go from my high-paying director role due to pregnancy and the exhausting commute. I took my son on a mini vacation to the beach while my boyfriend attended a pool party. He called me, disbelieving we were on the road. He ended up staying at his cousin’s house and even slept outside my house on several occasions, despite claiming he still had his own place.

When we returned, he expected me to drive him to work since I was no longer working. I refused, feeling it wasn’t my responsibility, and he took an Uber. He resented spending money on Uber and blamed me, saying my family should come second to his needs.

The final straw was finding a gram of cocaine in my garage. He claimed he was holding it for his cousin, but I couldn’t accept that. He’s a felon with a history of drug charges, and having drugs in my house, especially with my son around, was unacceptable. His dismissive response was the last straw, and I kicked him out.

I hate that it came to this. For the past two days since he’s been gone, it’s been bittersweet. My son keeps asking about him, and I’m torn because I do want to make it work, but the disrespect is overwhelming. He insists that in his previous relationships, women were his peace and didn’t hold him accountable, which he believes is my role.