Please help

My babies are 17 months part, I felt guilty at first for my oldest as she’s always just had my full attention and now she’s having to share it but honestly watching them together is so lovely and I’m so glad I done it! Don’t get me wrong it’s hard for for the first few weeks/ months but it does get easier!! Plus they will be each others little besties and kept each other company when both old enough,l wouldn’t change it for the world!! Xxx

I'm so sorry you're going through that, that must be an awful situation to be faced with 💜 I'm not going to give you advice necessarily as this is a very sensitive and personal decision and only you can decide what's best for you. However, if I were the one in your position, me personally I would rather potentially feel some guilt and regret over having a termination, than regret bringing a whole new child into this world and risk that having an impact on them and my existing child. It's absolutely valid to have a fear of birth after a traumatic one and if you truly don't want to give birth again but decide you want another child, adoption is an option.
I think you need to have a proper open and honest conversation with your partner about where you're at with this, talk it through and figure out what's best for you and your family 🤍

If you abort you'll regret it for the rest of your life, based off of what you already said you can't bare to think about it. It's scary but it'll be okay, every child is a blessing from God , adoption is also an option I know that's a very hard choice to but it's there

All honesty you need to do what is best for you especially dealing with PD. My partner and I are both against abortion but never push our views on others because what work for someone else might not work for you. That being said sit back to yourself and ask what you want to do. Make sure to also think about the result of those actions and if that is something you can cope with. Take time with your self and dont rush any decision. Move at your own pace and know that you are loved. ♥️

There is nothing wrong with abortion. There is also nothing wrong with not wanting to have one. The choice is incredibly personal and I would say finding someone safe to sort out these feelings and thoughts with will help you work through them. Find someone who won't judge you either way.

I think it's super valid and normal to feel guilty and like you won't be able to love another child as much as your first before you have a second, third, etc. I felt this 100% when I had a surprise pregnancy with my second, the feelings of guilt for not having as much time for my first was almost overwhelming at times, but she's almost 1 month old now and my first absolutely adores her and I love both of them so so much. It's been getting better every day and I make sure I make time for my first to have one on one every day and make him feel special and it has been really wonderful so far despite having those feelings initially. Just my experience 🩷

I just found out I’m pregnant at 11m pp and also feeling super guilty as it wasn’t planned and I’m feeling nauseous and so exhausted I feel like what if I can’t do everything for my baby that he needs or wants and can’t be an active mum for him and of course also him having to share me when baby comes. But me and my husband are religious and would never consider abortion and I also believe everything happens for a reason so this baby coming along despite us being careful must mean that’s what’s truly meant to be for us! Also many mums have told me when the second comes your heart grows and you love them just as much and you just find your groove with giving both of them attention. If you think about it your toddler probably won’t even have concrete memories from this age and won’t care how much attention they got when they were 1 and a half but you will have given them a sibling and best friend for life. As for the PD you can always reach out to your GP or someone else for help!

Your heart doesn’t split in half it expands ❤️ you will love both your babies the same, and your giving your current baby a lifetime best friend. Also babies come when they’re ready and they choose us, so trust this is the right time. It supposed to be easier with the second one too as you already know what you’re doing and you’re doing it anyway 🙌🏼 Also if you’re scared of birth you could always book elective care-section

I fell pregnant at the same time as you. I’m now 20 weeks. I’m still nervous but know from watching my daughter play, how much I can tell already she’d love a play mate. Your baby will grow to a toddler over the next 5 months and you will be amazed and shocked at how much they develop and become so much more independent. My daughter now cuddles and pats a doll and feeds it (which I never thought she’d understand at this age). She also takes her own wipes out when I change her and can go up and down the stairs, and is beginning to self feed her porridge every morning independently. Honestly as you see these actions you will feel better about your second’s arrival.
I just want you to know I was utterly shocked too and felt the same as you. But over about 6 weeks I think you will be glad because as you see your child grow and interact with other children at soft play (mine waved and hugged another child bye the other day), it will melt your heart. Yes the first year is going to be….

hella tough, but then our first child will have a sibling for the rest of their lifetime (who will outlive us and always be there for them).
I also had a section and this time am planning for one and have factored my husband taking off three weeks to help. I know making this decision about the birth has helped me prepare (and teach my child things like the stairs to help me out!) I wish you all the best and please feel free to contact me x

I just want to add, because I don’t think I said it already, but I had your exact thoughts when I feel pregnant the second time, and as I mentioned above it took me six weeks to feel differently. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Sit with your thoughts for a bit xxx I also talked through for an hour per week with a therapist prior to my first birth to help me prepare for the anxiety and uncertainty, I would highly recommend. Therapy is impartial advice and a listening ear. X

I found out I was pregnant when my first was 6 months old, I felt so bad for him and that I wouldn’t be able to give him the time etc he deserved but I’m 6 months in and he’s never going to remember anything different and he’ll have a best friend forever in his little brother.
There will be 15 months between them and I am nervous about how hard it will be but it’s hard whenever you have a newborn and it’s such short period of time in the long run.

Do what you need to do love but don’t do it out of fear of not loving enough or guilt do whats best for your health both physically and mentally xx