Stepmoms need to STOP judging Bio Mom

This doesn't sound like the right group for you. Consider disengaging to lower your stress... 😉

This. All of it.

Hmmm 🤔

This sounds like you thought being a mom was easy and passed judgement instead of being Understanding.

MOST problems with bio moms is just plain jealousy, not wanting another woman in their child’s life, blatantly childish, and demanding full control.

INSTEAD OF ALL STEP&BIO PARENTS WORKING TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THE CHILD AND KNOWING WHEN TO COMPROMISE

Most of the issues stepmoms have, especially from my perspective, are from high conflict bm’s who are insecure and jealous themselves and choose to cause issues by wanting control over not only their child but bd as well. That’s not always the case. However, with my 1st bd and his gf I’ve experienced the other side of the jealous stepmom as well. Sounds more like you’re passing judgement on moms in a group where that would be nonexistent.

I just want the heffa too take care of ALL her kids fulltime! I am tired of being a fulltime parent too mine and hers.

Lol

Every situation is different just like we shouldn't judge bio well Dont judge step parent?! This is a safe place to vent and get advice every 1 is different, everybody has different ways they heal!!! Mind your own families business that's what u know best, as a bio parent 👨‍👩‍👧 or step! If you have advice for a particular situation, then give it if not, maybe you should keep your opinion to yourself! Respectfully! The child should always be the priority, BOTTOM LINE!

This is suppose to be a community of venting and understanding.
I’m a bio mom and a step mama, I’ve been through it all, so what if they’re passing judgement. It’s what they feel and from experience of both sides, sometimes a good vent is what we need to let it roll and keep on moving.
& essentially grow. Being the bigger person isn’t always easy and sometimes it feels good to just release the shit then keep it bottled up.

I mean isn’t this the point of this community? To help and understand. & find friends who can help..

Good luck on your journey and hope you can find some peace. It’s giving judgement just as much as you’re trying to enforce your opinion.

You all can get mad if you want but what I’m speaking is facts. Stepmoms focus wayyyy too much on bio mom not realizing how much power they actually have. The hyper focus on BM usually stems from insecurity, childhood wounds etc. Being a stepmom unearths a lot of things for women and it’s clear by the posts. I’m not judging because I’ve been there but HEAL YOURSELF and you’ll feel a lot better about your stepfamily life. Listen, you can NEVER change anyone but you can change how you respond someone’s actions. If BM is HC she will always be that way. Don’t sit around waiting for her to change, accept it and move on. Provide for your stepchildren the best way you can. If she doesn’t “wash clothes” wash them yourself. Bitching about BM not for example “washing clothes” is not going to make you happy. You accepting that she just won’t ever do it and getting over it will make you much more happier. Anyway, I can go on and on but I don’t got time to try and convince anybody on the internet

Just trying to give a little advice. Take it or leave it 🤷‍♀️

Well thanks for that advice then 😅

It’s still a place to vent on whatever these moms want to vent about.
It’s a community to help, not bash. lol

This community is clearly not the right fit.

You’re the only one that has been humbled in such a manner it’s called growth don’t sound like you were mature enough to ignore some antics🤷🏽‍♀️.

For me being a step mom looks like supplying needs that the child has and bio mom is never satisfied because she doesn’t want needs met for her son nor her son to have his dad. Constantly shortening his time then complain about always having her own child. And telling her child he’s that dude and not his father.
How about stop using kids as pawns
This not chess it’s real life and causing kids unnecessary trauma.

Best advice in any blended/stepfamily situation is to Never give in to provoking antics, Stay Cordial and Respectful, Staying focus on doing what’s best for the child stuck in the middle. And take all the emotions to therapy.

And left it at that but making a general comment in a space where that’s rarely the case you should save that for dm’g that person directly. Bc you’re coming here at an entire group incorrectly Ms.Incognito

My only rant is that bio mom won't speak up when SS needs something. She gets child support and we always ask if SS needs anything but neither one of us will tell us. Instead he tells grandma who lives 6 hours away.

do you B

take it however you wish 🤷‍♀️

I would just focus on getting him what he needs when he is with you. Mom I’m sure will be able to take care of her son when she has him.

💯 exactly but she thinks these responses are out of anger is preposterous

but I bet no one will comment on my post about solution-focused support lol

One comment I said “ALL STEP&BIO PARENTS WORKING TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THE CHILD AND KNOWING WHEN TO COMPROMISE “

And another comment I said
“Best advice in any blended/stepfamily situation is to Never give in to provoking antics, Stay Cordial and Respectful, Staying focus on doing what’s best for the child stuck in the middle. And take all the emotions to therapy.”

Both are good solutions but okay. Don’t @ me if you can’t dm me it’s low key weird at this point you’re speaking at everybody that has a problem with you speaking in to general public and not being direct to those you see posting The foolishness you speaking on.
Take yourself out the group if you have a severe issue.

We have new clothes for him here but he always comes over in clothes that are either too small or full of holes if not both. We started buying and keeping clothes here for him since he always brought over the same thing week after week. Now we don't worry about it since he's made the choice not to come over last year, he's now 16. Saw him last weekend for the 1st time since January and had an amazing time.

I have 3 kids of my own ranging from 14 to 1 so I completely understand the struggles of motherhood. Just wish she would speak up when his dad asks. I never get involved.

I completely agree with

This seems like the wrong group for you. It sounds like you are passing judgment on a community instead of being helpful. You might even be possibly projecting your own struggles wishing the step mom of your kids would stop judging you. Either way, you are going about it the wrong way girl. I see you've posted in this group 3 times in a row and clearly need help. I hope you find peace.

yea it sounds like you’re doing everything you can on your end and you’re a great stepmom for it! ❤️ it must be frustrating to see him come over with clothes with holes in it etc. but it is one of those things we just have to accept. If that’s mom’s best then it is what it is. At least you are doing all that you can for him and he’ll for sure see that when he’s an adult 🫶

that does sound rough as hell. Do you have any support outside of Peanut? Solution focused support has helped me TREMENDOUSLY since becoming a stepmom and I’m 7 years in