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My Mother In Law Said What?!

AITA Pt. 2 - Sister-in- law edition

Backstory: My fiancé and I got together in 2020, we had our daughter in 2022, and also got engaged at the end of 2022. We are getting married this year. My fiancé has a sister (twin) who has,for the past 3 years, shared with me all the negative stuff my MIL says about me.

Christmas 2021, we visited my SIL and her family, my MIL and FIL were also there, and we decided to announce our pregnancy. Everyone was so excited and happy, even crying.. except my SIL. She just had this look on her face. She pulls me aside a few minutes later, asking and complaining to me about why we didn’t tell her sooner, why she had to find out with everyone else, saying when she was pregnant the first person she told was my fiancé. Pulled me away from thatjoy and excitement just to make that about her.

Summer 2022, a week or two before I had my daughter, my SIL text me saying she was so excited to come visit and meet her niece the week that I gave birth. I let her know my fiancé and I decided we weren’t having visitors for at least a month - only our mothers who live in the same city and only when we need help. A few days later, she called me telling me how upset she was and was crying about the fact that she couldn’t come and how hurt she was, etc. Making it about her once again.

End of 2022, my fiancé proposed and surprised me with an engagement party at our home. The next few days, my SIL called me and complained about how she wasn’t invited, asking me why she wasn’t invited (even though I didn’t even know about it) and went on and on about her feelings. It was about her.

2023, beginning of the year, I mention to her that I want a spring 2024 wedding. 2 months later, we go to visit her, she’s telling me that her and her husband are going to have a wedding that next April (she is already married, went to the courthouse, and decided she wanted a wedding around the same time we got engaged). I don’t even say anything, and move my wedding to Fall - really wanted a Sept wedding. I speak to her summer 2023, and she tells me that her and her husband moved the date to guess when? SEPTEMBER. I confront her, she acts like it was all a coincidence. I move my date to October just in case. Then, she “cancels” her wedding.

Jan 2024, we finalize our wedding party, and I don’t include her in it (she disrespects my boundaries, talks sh*t, and is just extremely negative and caddy, and I didn’t want to be around that preparing for/on my wedding day). My fiancé supports me. Mar 2024, she calls me complaining about how she isn’t in her brother’s wedding, how hurt she is, how she doesn’t understand, and how she could have also been a groomswoman - which my fiancé didn’t want. (I would have loved for my SIL to be part of my wedding and always envisioned it like that, but I just couldn’t do it because of who she is and how she’s treated me.) She also texts my fiancé saying she wishes she was in the wedding, etc. He basically says why would you be in the wedding when you’ve treated my fiancée the way you have? She gets upset and inconsolable, calls their mother… their mother calls my fiancé and asks for him to come over. When my fiancé left to go to his mother’s house, we were on the same page: she is not part of this special day. When he gets back, he tells me the decision was made that she would walk down at the beginning of the ceremony with the grandparents and parents.
She then proceeded to post multiple videos on social media complaining about how she isn’t part of the wedding and how hurt she is, with people consoling her.

There was also a discussion about her getting a corsage (which only the grandparents/ parents are getting), her having a first dance with my fiancé, and her doing a toast. I limited it to just the walk down the aisle with the parents/grandparents.

My fiancé and I also decided that we were going to have 2 flowers girls: my sister (8YO) and one of his sister’s kids (she has 3, but also 8YO). His sister called me to tell me how both her and her mother didn’t like the fact that I didn’t include all of her children: this was not a decision I made myself btw. My fiancé was the one who actually suggested it. But the kids are innocent and I would never want their feelings to be hurt, so I decide to include all of her daughters and my sister (4 flower girls in total).

2 months ago, my SIL told me they (her, her 3 daughters, and her husband) would be at the reception, but not the reception dinner, because the youngest one acts up. I urged her to come, telling her it would be important to her brother. She the switched the reason to being that they don’t want to do all the driving back and forth with the kids. I offered to help, she declined. I ask if maybe she can go with the oldest two, or by herself, or just stay for a little while. She still said no.

3 weeks ago, after complaining about how I didn’t include all of her daughters in the first place, she tells me she’s pulling the youngest one out of the wedding.

1 week ago, she tells my fiancé that now, it’s only going to be her and two of her daughters, and the youngest one will be staying behind with her husband. I tell my fiancé to see if she can come to the rehearsal dinner now - if the youngest daughter was the reason she couldn’t come before, now she isn’t coming, so there should be no reason she and her 2 daughters can’t make it… she said no, she’s going to be too tired…. Like we all aren’t going to be tired. It’s a wedding.

AITA for not making her part of my wedding? And AITA for not wanting her/not inviting her to my bridal suite to get ready? Or for not wanting her around me at all during my wedding day?

She found a way to make my pregnancy announcement, my birth/bonding with my child, my engagement, and now my wedding about her and her feelings/wants.
AITA if cuss her out the next time she calls me to complain about something ELSE about this wedding or another event that is important and about me and my fiancé?