Advice

Surprise him with a BJ. That should help him understand the initiative. Then the next day wear some nice lingerie and if he doesn't want anything then defo discuss it with him.

Lovely I don’t think you’re the problem here… I would chat to him though and tell him how you feel maybe he’s feeling the same? But why are you sleeping on the sofa? Would he now swap with you?

I don't think you need to 'confront' him but you should definitely tell him how you feel! Tell him you'd like to be having more sex, ask if he feels the same, and talk about why neither of you are initiating and how you might change that going forward. You could consider scheduling sex for a while to get back into the habit. You could also ask him why he prefers masturbating currently but don't make it accusatory - he's allowed to do that! Basically be gentle with him and with yourself and talk and listen.

Honestly, depending on life circumstances in the relationship, I don’t think that your partner masturbating sometimes instead of seeking out sexual contact is a reflection on how he feels about *you*.

You have a toddler and a newborn, you’re probably tired and stressed, and your husband might be thinking that you would rather he didn’t bother you for sex. Masturbation is a quick fix that takes little time and doesn’t interrupt any of the baby’s needs, but I don’t think any sane man actually *prefers* it to real sexual contact.

If communication is still good between you, maybe let him know you’re in the mood, make the first move, or do one of those couple-specific things that always means sexy time is on the table? x