Hung up on the past
About 3.5 years ago I divorced my ex husband. We don’t talk because we didn’t have a kid together or anything. No ties. Now I have moved on physically I’m with someone else and have a 2 yr old now. Now mentally/emotionally I miss him. I wish we would’ve worked our issues out but at the same time I wouldn’t have my son. And I love my son I can’t imagine my life without him now. So with all this said my ex husbands family told me they loved me and cared for me. Now since they don’t even talk to me, I have abandonment issues. I don’t like getting close to anyone. The dudes parents I’m with now, I don’t give them the time of day. I don’t tell them I love them or anything. Also, I have issues with saying “I love you” to anyone I’m dating because would love really end in divorce? Loving someone who isn’t good for you is divorce. I’m just not a fan of being lied too.
Tbh I was a bitch to my ex. He didn’t deserve that. Now I see more clearly now that I’m a parent. I wish I could apologize but they more than likely don’t want to hear from me.
It sucks because I can’t make amends with my ex or his family.
How do I move forward from thinking about my ex? He probably doesn’t think about me, but maybe he does. He got married again, which doesn’t surprise me one bit.
I just miss him he was my best friend for years on end and nothing can replace or change that.
It just sucks comparing my partners because I’m always looking for the love my ex husband once showed me.
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You obviously have a lot of unfinished emotional business with your ex e.g the guilt & anger you feel at yourself for how you feel you treated him. The path to getting over this is growing your own self confidence and growing to a more emotionally mature state.
You need to start shifting the narrative you have in your brain of yours & your ex’s story into something more positive. You guys were different people back then and them two people didn’t match up. You’re not the bad guy, he’s not the bad guy, you just didn’t work out. You’ve realised your mistakes and that’s brilliant, forgive yourself & focus them on your new relationship now, use them to build the one you’re in. ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean divorce. And as for his family, they are his family. You guys ended so it’s natural that your relationship with them does too. They haven’t abandoned you and they did care for you, but your paths no longer intertwined. You are all on different ones now
Everytime you start to think about your ex & his family, change the narrative you have straight away. Tell yourself these positive things about why it ended rather than living in negativity. Forgive yourself.
All your doing is setting up your new relationship for failure when it can be the complete opposite
thanks for the advice. I do appreciate it a lot. It’s like I need to apologize but I’m sure they don’t want to hear from me unfortunately.
please don’t contact the guy if he’s moved in leave him alone he’s not your best friend anymore he doesn’t belong to you respectfully not saying he belongs to his wife just saying he respectfull
i think your over thinking and comparing your situation from now and then and what could have been sounds like you miss your ex’s family and you don’t have the type of stability in your life
are you okay with your current partner now ?
you should really try therapy 🥲 sounds like you need closure
what was the main reason you guys divorced ? if he didn’t deserve you’d think you’d tough it out 😅
What’s your current relationship like now? Be honest as something is clearly amiss if you are still thinking about an ex from so long ago.
Well, I’m not going to contact him. Just having a difficult time with the fact that someone loved you so much then they are gone! It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. This happens in families and friendships as well. It’s sad.
And actually we didn’t deserve one another. He married me knowing he had genital warts and didn’t tell me. So that’s why I lost trust in the guy. However after going thru everything I’ve gone thru since I left him, it still don’t feel like.
He’s not my best friend anymore. I’m not sure if anyone can understand or not but because it happened years ago doesn’t mean anything. My grandma and my dog is dying so what should I do forget them after they’re gone? That’s asking too much from me.
Point is, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes it’s worse.
I understand what your saying as I've been there myself and I think there will always be what ifs for what we or me could have done differently....it's been 4 years since I separated from my ex, 2 years since we got divorced and probably a year and half since we last spoke. For me personally I know we did everything we could and it would never have worked and would only have got worse if we'd had children together. Part of me though will always want to know how he's doing but is that me caring or being nosey? 🤷♀️ Feel free to message me. 😊
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