Looking for ways to cope with my emotions

I can’t stop this feeling of being so overwhelmed everyday. I know that everyone tells me that this is part of motherhood and that I’ll learn to get on with it but I don’t understand how to deal with my feelings and not lash out. I’m trying so hard to keep my feelings under control, but I don’t have the heart in me for me to let me daughter cry it out but I also can’t keep my feelings under control. Sometimes I’m frustrated and not knowing what to do to calm her down other times I sit there and cry with her and I feel like I am making her worse. I feel like I am a crap mom and my husband keeps telling me I’m not, that’s it’s just my emotions getting the best of me. But I just want to be happy for my kids and I don’t know how.

in our community

Why?

I am sick of my family telling me there’s something wrong with my baby.

She is almost 10 weeks old. She was born just under 1 month early.

She is my second child, my first born was a chilled baby. She is quite grumpy a lot of the time she does smile daily however. But she’s quite whiny and she has recently been really unsettled / fussy and been having some days where she has really bad crying episodes where she screams. For instance today she’s been fussy all day on her bottle, she did a poo mid way through one - so I stopped and placed her on her mat and noticed it had gone through the top of her nappy on to her sleep suit so I had to undress her and she literally screamed like I’ve never heard before to the point I wanted to cry! I proceeded to try and change her after picking her up to soothe her and again she screamed the place down and started sobbing. She’s quite a gassy baby she is always passing wind and has hiccups all the time also. But I am so sick of my family members telling me “she needs to be checked!” Or my mother saying “what’s wrong with her?” When she comes over and she cries. They said she’s more unsettled than settled always. And I can’t help but think why??? Is it something I’m doing? They are making me question everything and it’s making me feel like I’m heading in to a downward spiral. They make me question myself and my life. I’m just fed up.

Sleeping, not sleeping and safe sleeping…

I’m a FTM to a beautiful baby boy, who will be 3 weeks old tomorrow but sleep, or lack of sleep in this case, is a source of anguish in our house at the moment and it got me thinking about the information we are given as new mamas.

I get there are rules about safe sleeping to prevent SIDS, and I understand why we have them BUT why is other information that were given on sleeping a little contradictory to this?

1) We are told to nap when baby naps
2) We are told it’s ok if the only way baby will sleep is on us/cuddling us
3) Safe sleeping rules tell us we cannot sleep with baby on us, on a sofa or in a bed

My point is, if the only way baby will sleep is on us, how are we supposed to nap when they nap, if the safe sleeping rules tell us we can’t sleep with baby in bed or on a sofa with us?

If I’m missing something then please someone point it out for me but it seems a bit contradictory and confusing, does it not?

Co-sleeping

Why do people make out co sleeping is almost child abuse? My baby is almost 3 months and we sleep in the same bed. It’s the only way he sleeps a decent amount. I have many family members telling me I shouldn’t be doing it. I love the bonding you get sleeping with your baby. What are everyone’s thoughts

Anyone else's health visitor absolutely useless?

England obviously.

My health visitor is about as useful as a sieve for collecting sand.

Wake windows? Naps?

Can you tell me what your nap schedule looks like in a day?

And I say schedule lightly I don't mean it being the same every day I just mean what do most of your days look like.

When baby wakes up in the morning how long on average are they awake for before having a nap? After the first nap how long on average are they awake for before the second nap?

How long is each nap lasting?

How many naps a day are you having?

My health visitor has told me my baby should be awake 4-5 hours before her first nap... I don't feel this is developmentally appropriate for a 7 month old? My baby could never make it 4-5 hours without being extremely cranky and crying.

Please help?

Refusing to nap

Anyone having issues with getting their baby to nap during the day? Everywhere you look online and in books it talks about the wake windows being so short, but my 5 week old has literally been awake for 7 hours straight. Have done all the obvious feeding, changing, rocking.
He sleeps at night thankfully but just fighting it during the day.