Domestic violence

That’s how it starts. It starts with the pushing and always escalates. When they get comfortable pushing and shoving they move on to more. I’m so sorry you experienced that but I’m glad you told someone. I’m proud of you

Yes it does

Ya that’s completely unacceptable

Yes, that's domestic abuse, and it will only get worse, most likely. It starts small, and he's trying to make you the bad guy by saying you talking about it is fucked up. That's a manipulation tactic. It's really good you told someone and you haven't been cut off from people.

Pushing and shoving outside of a CONSENTUAL playful context is abuse, yes

thank you he says I’m suppose to be selective in what I say but why should I protect his image when he’s hurting me

thank you I didn’t know that was manipulation he makes me feel bad for expressing how I feel I’m just tired of him getting aggressive

no always tell someone anyone and if he doesn’t like it then he shouldn’t do stuff he doesn’t want other people to know about. Don’t let him silence you at all. Thats cocersive control!

We have a 1 month old and the aggression got out of hand I locked my self in my room and he busted the door down when my baby was trying to sleep he apologized Ofcourse but idk what to do his mom tells him to stop and that he’s being a problem she got angry and had a heart attack he’s always causing her to have a heart attack and it scares me

Yes thats DV ! Either he goes to therapy or leave him

thank you I had no idea it’s just hard because I hate when he starts to fight with me again about it

I’ve been thinking about going to counseling or something for his anger for our family even his parents are done with his shit

My partner (ex) wrapped his arms around me and tried to drag me out of the room I was in, when I’d managed to squirm to the floor and kicking/crying he dragged me across the carpet leaving carpet burn on my elbows. I excused it as we were going through some pretty stressful events, it was the first time and “iT wOuLdNT hAPpEn AgaIN” I told him don’t put your hands on me like that. Ever.

A few weeks ago he hit me across the head (unsure if it was a punch or not/unsure of how many hits he got in - shouldn’t matter 🤷🏻‍♀️) I’m pregnant with our 3rd, I still can’t hear out my ear - he perforated my ear drum & caused bleeding. He blamed me and accused me of bullying him for raising my voice. I fucking left the second it was safe to do so. He’s been begging and pleading for me to return, saying “all the right things”. Even his mother has begged me to take him back.

No. I’m done. You don’t get to put hands on like that, blame me and expect me to come back for more. Leave, it won’t get better

You literally just relayed what happened. What he did is what’s fucked. The more you use your voice, the less likely he’ll keep doing it but also you’ll have witnesses that know what’s going on if he keeps abusing you and something happens. Document EVERYTHING. Keep it up. Don’t let him do that shit to you without letting the goddamn world know

thank you I’m very blunt so if someone asks me I’ll tell the truth and he knows it that’s why he’s upset I won’t hold it back

Just constant phone calls is domestic abuse so yes it is. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical but yes this is.

Hi. That is how it starts!! Please please take pictures if you got hurt or record the conversation just in case. Even you may think it’s not necessary, you will need it in the future

Yes this is domestic abuse! You need to stay safe and get a safety plan please for you and baby! Women are most at risk when pregnant or when leaving! Your friend’s mum did not help the situation even though she was probably helping

https://blueshieldcafoundation.org/resources/collections/domestic-violence-california-resources-for-survivors-advocates-and-allies

he was more abusive when I was pregnant and when I got out of the hospital he shoved me on the ground opening my c section stitches it’s just hard to know if he’ll ever stop because he cleans and cooks for me and helps out but forces me to do stuff I don’t want to do

yes you should go at some point for sure but remember if you disclose anything to them they will have a duty of care to report it if you are at risk of harm you and your baby.
Please keep some evidence somewhere such as photos on your phone, I know its last thing you’ll be thinking of but as a just in case.
Get you and baby safe - he will not change… and every time he hurts you and gets away with it… the abuse will get worse cos he knows he can do it with no repercussions
And finally I don’t know where you are in the world but ring police and get him locked up. Whether you choose to do it now or next time he hurts you. Real men don’t hurt women. If not for your own sake but for your child’s sake… children growing up witnessing DV traumatises them xx
Good luck xx

Yes

well done ❤️❤️

Im so sorry, he just wants you to be quiet about the things hes doing to you. That is NOTok

thank you

please lovely think of yourself and your child. It doesn’t matter how nice they are or what they do. Abuse isn’t okay and it’s likely going to continue to escalate. He’s more worried about protecting his image than protecting (and not hurting) you or your child.

What's fucked up is what he did. If he doesn't want to be judged for shoving his partner around he simply should not shove his partner around. Him wanting you not to tell anyone is manipulation to make you feel secluded so that he can do whatever he wants.

And yes shoving is abuse, what he did was unnecessary. You have as much right to the living room as he does. If he wanted space he could have walked away to another room or left the house.

He did this after you got out of the hospital? That's a PATTERN. The most likely time for a woman to be killed is when pregnant, that is also the most likely time for abuse to START, just *begin*. It doesn't end after.

@Hannah look into DARVO because that sounds like what he's trying to do. This is only going to escalate more and more.

I know it's hard and not everyone can but I do seriously recommend you looking into leaving. It sounds like you still have a support system who may be able to help you, which is good, but PLEASE becareful and do not say anything to him about it, as it can and likely will make him escalate.

Yes of course it is

Omg. Yes it’s 100% DV. You need to leave. Any amount of violence is unacceptable. One time, two times, twenty or a hundred. He’s an abusive man and won’t change. They never do.

My cousin’s ex pushed her. She hit her head on a tub and it caused a blood clot in her brain.
She went into a coma, they discovered she was pregnant, removed the clot, and now she is permanently disabled. The brain damage is degenerative. At best she barely had any control of one side of her body and it is gradually killing her as she loses more control of her body.
Luckily the baby is okay, grown and has children of her own now.
But yes, this is domestic violence and very dangerous.
Your husband is just mad he’s being confronted with it and knows you might and have every reason to leave with the kids and he’ll be paying child support for the next 18 years.
His reaction was completely selfish and he hasn’t learned and will do it again.

I’m sorry to hear that but thank you for telling me and I never thought about that

I’m glad it could help you with your decision. Best of luck to your family. 🫶

thank you very much

YES

Yes. Take this as a beginning to a violent future.