Am I unreasonable?
It’s 6.30am and my partner isn’t back from his gym Christmas party.
We agreed I pick him up from there so I was awake until 2.30am waiting and watching movies. No worries I enjoyed it. I texted Him around 2 to say I’ll be going to bed soon, and called at 2.30 to see if I can order him an uber. Didn’t hear a thing. I then was woken up by our 1 year old at 4.20am. My partner still wasn’t home. My text no longer went through and my calls went to voicemail. So understandably I’m now really worried. One of the guys from his gym I knew was there tonight is in my instagram. So I send him a nice message with my phone number in case my partners phone has died.
I finally manage to reach my partner at 6am, he says he is asleep on his mates sofa.
I’m fuming. I was so worried for him I’d not been able to sleep since waking 4.20am.
I thought something genuinely could have happened to him while drunk in this cold. He has newish phone and battery shouldn’t also just die. Also I know of a few cheatings going on with his gym mates and the girls that go to gym. He knows I’m super uncomfortable about the gym because of this to start with.
I literally feel like breaking up with him right now. I feel so uncomfortable and disrespected. We are 38 both. Not once in my 38 years have I got so drunk I didn’t make it home or wasn’t even able to tell the person waiting for me what’s happening. I feel like if for nothing else it just shows how little he cares.
Sorry, rant over.
We hardly ever have sex and I don’t feel like he is prioritising me enough as it is.
We have a house and a baby, but that shouldn’t matter if things are not right.
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I'd be furious too!
I'd be unhappy. My partner ALWAYS lets me know any way possible where he's at, even if using a mates phone!
I won't lie whilst reading this. The first thing I thought was cheating. It might not be the case as I don't know your partner, but that was my first thought. I'd be extremely angry and uncomfortable.
I’d split up with someone for this. Lack of respect and there is no need for adult men to be having sleepovers when they have a lift home prepared or could get a taxi. I wouldn’t trust him personally.
Ngl, im with Frankie on this one. My first thought was also cheating, especially as you said you hardly ever have sex..
And a gym christmas party, never heard of that one before.
Hopefully he can give you a good explanation when he gets home but I’d be absolutely fuming and wouldn’t trust him either.
I don't even want to say what's probably gone on because it's upsetting enough for you but he shouldn't of even gone in the first place and I'd be putting everyone that's cheating in that gym in a sticky situation use it as blackmail to get the answers you want.
Even after the call,
He is still not home!! It’s how 9.20am 😡
I be so mad 😡 extremely upset
Yeah this whole thing is a big red flag… it reminds of a lady i follow on TikTok where it turns out her family’s annual hunting trips with all the guys in the family is just a big opportunity for them to all cheat on their wives… like for him to be all out with those questionable gym guys is such a big red flag… birds of a feather flock together… and the fact he still hasn’t prioritized you after the call and didn’t hustle his way home is just a slap in the face!! You don’t deserve that!!
wow facts🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
If it’s 920am and he still not home … he ain’t taking you serious girl
You need toask him some questions as soon as he gets in, like ‘which mates house?’ ‘How heended up there? What time did he get there, from where?’ So you can piece together the story. I would also analyse the state he is in, for him to have acted like that last night I would expect a pareletic state or drugs in the mix, because you can loose track of time and commitments in these states. If he seems like he hasn’t done an all nighters or hanging out his ass, you can judge that. Go by your instincts as well, you’ll get a whiff if the story doesn’t seem right, and he seems ashamed to tell you details.
He came home at 10. He says he got over excited drank way too much. After party ended up in his mates house, vomited and fell asleep.
I know the mate.
Which I believe can happen, but it was a choice.
What I sent to my friend:
It’s about the fact that adult men that are happy at home and in serious relationships make sure they come home, coz that’s where they want to be.
They also don’t leave their partners to wonder if they are dead in a ditch or fallen into someone 🍑.
They come home. Full stop.
Especially those that know their partner will 100% not be comfortable with who they are out to start with.
It’s so disrespectful and just shows where I stand in his list of thoughts and priorities
I’m sorry, this sounds awful. I’d be furious too. If his plan had been to stay with the mate from the start it would have been one thing but to not even let you know not to wait up - aside from the other billion red flags - shows a total lack of thought for you and your time x
Oh hun, from a mother to a mother, I wouldn’t believe any of that is genuine. He’s a grown ass man, you’re telling me he doesn’t know how to control his drink? Or even make you aware of what’s going on!
You’ve got a baby at home, you can still go into depression cause this shit triggers depression like no tomorrow!
All im saying is, be careful mama x
Wow he got excited to drink way too much so much so he vomited and crashed… either he has a mindset of a teenager or that’s a convenient story… either way he is not worth you worrying over… I’m glad you know your worth! And know you deserve to be higher on the priority list! Stay strong you got this!
Jesus Christ I'd lose the plot. Especially with a baby at home. At this point I'd have taken the baby and gone home to my mum's and told him I don't want to see him until he works out who he wants to be. A grown man or a teenager.
I will say, it depends on the gym. I'm at a small private functional fitness gym and we have a Christmas party every year and summer events the lot.
that’s why i said I’ve never heard of that before.
I wouldn’t be happy with this. At all. My partner stays out if he drinks, we discuss this prior. No way would he just not be coming home.
My initial thought was cheating, and im only saying this due to being in that kind of relationship before myself. I use to make myself physically ill, staying up not being able to sleep while pregnant because of it. I now realised years down the line it’s lack of respect. Please be careful , I don’t like to assume but all I see from that is Red xx
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