My friend said I was wrong??

Depends who caused the arrears tbh. I lived with someone who was careless with money and caused us to get into debt constantly but in the end I made it a point that they had to get us out of it because it wasn’t my doing.

I totally agree he should be putting you guys first, and maybe I’m just devils advocate, but if he’s fronting £200 that is over 2/3rds of the rest of the bill so are you able to contribute to the last £95? If he has this agreement with his mum (maybe she’s affected by the pension cuts / winter fuel payments etc and he’s trying to be a good son?) then I’d honestly honour it as much as you can. Could he do £250 to you and £50 to his mum? Just to compromise?

I see both sides and you’re valid to be mad..but I’d never expect my partner to give me his whole earnings for rent. You’re a partnership and should be doing this together. I know you’ve put a lot towards it already but this final bill should also be split. Always easiest to go 50:50 in everything x

further explanation
He isn’t working at the moment he gets benefit. So I have been paying the rent and all the bills since last year may. Feeding everything on me and kids needs. I had to urgently travel to fix my passport so I can have access to my evisa. So I had to use all the money on my travel as I could have my document revoked. So now this is the first time I am asking him to give some money towards the rent. And also requesting further support. I don’t get to spend money on my self. I sacrifice all my money on us because he is out of work. I am just exhausted and tired of worrying about finances. His mom could wait. House can’t wait as I do not want my kids to be in a homeless shelter especially when the council pardoned me. I don’t have any spare change left. Also remember I am to pay January rent as well which is £415. The arrears is remaining £295 out of £1011 as I paid £716. I just feel like I am the only one trying to make us stable.

I don’t work as well due to my health. I use my benefit payment towards everything. But he doesn’t. And I don’t ask because I get more than he gets but this one time I am asking feels like because it’s my house it’s my responsibility but we both live here.

That makes more sense. Is there a specific reason he has to send his mum money? Not to be nosey and you don’t need to say, just if there isn’t, then he shouldn’t be sending that over.

Even if the council start eviction proceedings, you will also have squatters rights (if in UK), my mum is a family support worker and deals with this situation a lot with councils and families tend to stay there months thereafter until they can be moved into appropriate housing.

I’ve never heard of needing to travel in order to access your visa documentation, nor should that be a requirement? There should be ways to access this without travelling, especially through use of embassy’s.

I don’t think you’re wrong for requesting him to pay but just know that it likely isn’t going to happen and start looking into other options, rather than fighting back and forth and leaving plan B’s to last minute. I’d suggest contacting your council to explain the situation and ask to be put on a payment plan. Xx

That way they only take out X amount on top of monthly rent rather than you needing to be put on a section 21. Or failing that, could you discuss this with UC and ask for an advance so that you can pay - this gets paid back monthly on top of future payments. Will be tight regardless but at least there’s some options x

He doesn’t have to send his mom money. He just wants to send to her for new hear celebration. His mom is in Nigeria and I understand that the economy is hard but she also receives pension monthly even when I travelled to Nigeria to fix my document I gave her some money as gift.
Also my document couldn’t be fixed as I grew up in the uk and I found out that my passport is fake as I have never traveled back home since then. So I had to go to the headquarters in my country to fix it and I spent huge amount of money fixing it. I lost my brp in October so the only way I can access my evisa is using a valid passport which I didn’t have. So I had no choice than to go fix it asap as the deadline was 31st of dec and dec ticket was £2000+ which was way too much. I had no choice

I don’t think you are wrong. He should definitely pay what he needs to pay so you guys do not get evicted and not send his mom any money this time. He can tell his mom he’s low on money and simply not able to.

He shouldn’t be sending back home when he has bills to pay. It’s ridiculous. I’m also from West Africa and refuse to send money to my relatives back home unless I have paid for all of my expenses and my children are taken care of. Keeping a roof over your head here is the priority, not his mum’s NY celebration. This is such a stupid thing to do, risking eviction for the sake of a party. UC is to enable him to take care of his family here, not in Nigeria.