Husband came home drunk when I was supposed to go out with friends
I’m a mother of two. I work outside the home and manage most of the things around the house too. I don’t ask for a lot, I get shit done. No questions asked. I asked my husband well in advance if he could stay home with the girls so I can go out with friends. He says no problem. Yesterday rolls around and he asks if he can go out with a friend, I say sure but I need you back home at this time so I can go out. It is about 45 minutes before I told him to be back home and he lets me know he is too drunk to drive back home, and he needs either an uber or for me to pick him up. I had both kids at home, one in the shower and the other eating a snack while I was trying to finish styling my hair. I end up calling him asking him if he was serious and what was he thinking and he hung up on me. I called him 6 additional times trying to discuss what his plans were and he ignored the calls and my text asking him to please call me back. I ended up cancelling my plans and now my friends are upset and feel I’m blowing them off (didn’t give them the actual reason). Wtf man. He came home and thought him being home would be enough for me to go out but I told him there was no way I was going to leave him home drunk with the girls. He has kept apologizing and telling me it’s not going to happen again but in the past month this is twice now something like this has happened. I’m so hurt and angry. I just need to get this off my chest. I know we need to talk at some point but with the kids around we don’t have the privacy to. And if I’m being honest right now I just want to not talk with him.
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That’s SHADY!! He didn’t want you to go. He could have just said that 🙄 I bet the next time I planned a girls night after that, he wouldn’t know until I was already ready to walk out of the door.
he just keeps saying he’s sorry and I told him that’s not enough for me. He says he doesn’t know what more I want.
I would accept his apology. It happened. It’s over. Nobody is going to hurt by holding onto it except you. But expect the same GRACE when it’s something that he doesn’t like or when you want to “last minute” let him know what you have going on.
His apology is sufficient. It’s all he can do AFTER he crossed you. He can’t take it back. But changed behavior and matching consideration will SHOW YOU that he’s sorry instead of just believing what he says😌
It may have been an accident the first time, but twice in a month is intentional. apologize to your friends for bailing (you don't have to give the legitimate reason. Maybe just say your husband wasn't feeling the best). Then you need to have a serious conversation with your husband.
This is not normal behavior and the apology doesn't change the fact that this is twice that he has put himself before you and your need to socialize. Next time, be honest with him and yourself that you would prefer that he did not go out before you did and cite this situation.
He just did not give a fuck about your plans or apparently your kids safety because what the fuck
I wonder if he genuinely meant that you could go out while he was drunk...surely that was an empty attempt to "apologize". He knew that you wouldn't have left...he ignored your calls, your text..to me this tells me alot about his intentions and thoughts and the fake apology was just that. I would try and forgive but you need to really think about his behaviours towards you, does he show other things that indicate control, I wonder what he'd do if you said no to the outing as you already had plans, it's the second time...something is going on, probably deeper than you realize. I would be wanting an answer as to why he decided to get drunk..it wasn't a drink or two.
Twice in a month, but not something he did before, he might be going through something and struggling to handle it, so used drinking as his support. When you get to talk to him try to see if there's anything he needs support with to help avoid this happening again. Arguing and being upset without offering support may cause more issues, if it is due to him struggling. If it isn't, then hopefully your conversation will help him step up and not be selfish
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