Advice - no bond

Skin to skin can help kick start that bonding but it's not the only way to bond. Not everyone gets skin to skin for various reasons but still bond with baby in other ways.

How old is baby? Have you considered you might have post-partum depression?

thanks for replying, baby is 8 days old. I’m just so sad and hurt that I don’t have those same feelings I did with baby no 1.

It happens! Don't beat yourself up about it as it's nothing you can control.

I'd just try and keep an eye on yourself (and get others to do the same!) to watch out for signs of post-partum depression.

But tbh it can be perfectly normal not to feel an immediate rush of love and bonding. You don't even know this little person yet - you'll get there! You're not alone!

I felt that way with my son. He came at 28 weeks, we could touch him through the incubator but couldn’t hold him for a few days. I was so worried he wouldn’t know I was his mom and he might reject my comfort because he was with the nurses so much.

I started therapy which I think helped me put those feelings aside and work at it. He’s 2 now and I think if humans had pouches he’d climb back in forever lol. So it does get better. Just give yourself time and grace. You just met your baby while you’ve had time built with your oldest.