Problems with husband
Does anyone else experience issues with their partner after baby’s arrival?
I’ve had jealousy moments towards my mum and dad for being here to help me when he is at work and they see baby more than him he says.I’ve had him making my family feel unwanted and not welcome the whole time so they left and went back home and I was all alone every single day from 7am-7pm 6 days a week with him sleeping on the sofa and baby and I in bedroom so he gets his sleep to be able to go to work or he has to take off he says cos can’t work without sleep and never got up once to get baby or bottle feed him but stays up to drink a whole bottle of wine every other day till late for himself to unwind.Never sterilized baby’s bottles or washed them,never made a baby bottle alone I had to do it doesn’t hold him when he cries and passes him to me doesn’t clean after him at least let along the house I have to cook clean wash walk the dog with a newborn and gets annoyed if I go out and if say what annoys me in him lately he starts saying that I put him down and i belittle him and make him feel useless and a terrible dad and he is best if he doesn’t exist and we all are happy and played the victim and the suicidal one.Not sure if this is cos of baby I can’t even take baby to go visit my parents for more than 2 weeks in Greece cos he said it’s too long to take his son away from him the son he doesn’t hold and comes home late every evening even after finishing work earlier with no traffic and when I said I will he said then I’ll take you to court.Not sure what’s happening but I cry almost every day and if he does one small good did the next time we argue he says I’m ungratefulz
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I’m going to be real with you, what he is doing is controlling. He has no right to comment on you getting help from your own family. You need them, it’s your home too and he shouldn’t be saying anything or doing anything to make them uncomfortable. He has issues. The fact he gets annoyed when you go out too, what are you supposed to do? Live your life trapped in a cage? He should be supporting you and if he doesn’t want to do that he can’t expect you to do it all alone. Being a parent is tough, but it sounds like he wants an easy life and he wants you to do everything. You’re definitely not ungrateful and he is hurting you. I would personally say recommend he gets therapy or he stops his behaviour because it’s only going to hurt you and cause you suffering at a time where you should actually be enjoying your time with your child. You don’t get that time back and he shouldn’t be filling it with hateful behaviour. If he refuses then there’s not much you can do to change it apart from
Take action by leaving him. Your family sounds supportive so you can hopefully fall back a bit on to them if it did go in this direction. Just know that his behaviour is not normal and it’s unhealthy. I do hope you find happiness one way or another, but definitely need to make it clear that you will not put up with that behaviour from someone who is supposed to love you. If it was me, I’d have left because it sounds like he’s trying to separate you from everyone so you’re all alone and you can only rely on him
He's using the baby to control you
How can I leave he says he will take me to court and my family is in Greece how am I supposed to survive here alone without them if he takes me to court
No one should cry every day.
The threat of court is used a lot but it’s actually very tough, and VERY expensive to do this. Don’t let that be your only blocker.
You deserve to feel loved and supported and your baby deserves a happy home life. What would you say to your child if they were in a relationship like this.
You should contact womens aid, they will find a way to help you out of this xx
Taking you to court will cost him money and he will have to actually have a case for him to win it. You taking baby on holiday for 2 weeks is not “kidnapping” if you intend to return. I don’t know the dude, but I reckon he’s bluffing. If he isn’t, then he is super dumb. Anyone with a heart would feel bad for making someone cry every day. That shouldn’t be your new normal. My partner is fantastic to me and I still cried at least once or twice a week due to hormones and sleep deprivation post partum.
I said today I’m hungry and baby won’t stay in his cot slept on me…and he was asleep on sofa and said to me put him down then knowing the baby will wake up and won’t have enough sleep then cry and be grumpy..Instead of saying I’ll hold him at least.And then we argued and he snapped and yelled and again I’m so sad I have to be here with my baby
He should have been happy that your parents were able to come and help you, it's awful his jealously contributed to them leaving. Did he have these sorts of jealously and controlling tendencies before? If this is massively different to how you've known him to be before maybe he could be struggling with PPD as it can affect men also. If that's just who he is though then its totally unacceptable and it's probably worth letting him know you'd be better off without him x
He did behave this way before with my family it started when they first came over for New Year’s Eve and they stayed 1 week with us and one at my sisters although we have a two bedroom house he moaned and showed his unhappiness that they stayed over and my sister and her hubby live in a small studio flat with one room and my brother in law was more than happy and respectful towards them.
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