On the fence
Hello,
This is kind of a vent but also just my thoughts. So before I became a mom there was a time when after a couple years of trying to conceive with an ex that I had convinced myself I couldn't get pregnant. I told myself it so much that I believed it. Then in March of 2022 I was finally diagnosed with PCOS and it all made sense why I was having a hard time conceiving. Skip ahead to the end of August 2023 and I found out I was pregnant with my son, he was due in January, came 6 weeks early in December. My labor although calm, uncool and mostly collected was traumatizing. And my son spent the first month of his life in the hospital before he came home.
Anyhow, I have always wanted 2 kids. My son's father is absent and thats putting it nicely. This isn't how I ideally wanted to raise him or any child for that matter but I have accepted it. My son has some health concerns so it means he has different doctors appointments some out of the town we live in. I'm trying to find a job that's a good fit for me and his daycare schedule. Its just a lot. I am overwhelmed and stressed with the other responsibilities in my life. I feel like a shitty mom sometimes. I am going to go back to my OB and talk about birth control just with my current weight not a lot would work for me. And anytime I am on hormal birth control it messes everything up within my body, makes me extremely irritable, depressed, anxious. All the bad things. The last time I was seen at my OB's office the midwife suggested maybe a more permanent form of birth control. Like getting my tubes tied. I'm only going to be 32. My son is my only child so far. Like I mentioned before I want 2 kids. I am just on the fence about it. Has anyone felt the way I do? Even if you aren't a single parent. What did you decide? Were you just a one and done?
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I’m 1 and done. Since having my daughter I’ve been on bc but it’s affecting my arthritis badly. I was gona get my tubes removed during my c section but people changed my mind. I’m still 1 n done and I’ve looked into the pros and cons of removing my tubes there is major cons so I decided not to. My husband will get snipped hopefully very soon. I would love another kid but my pregnancy was horrible and I just can’t do that again. I have a ton of health issues and it made them worse
Your desire to have two kids is perfectly natural, and it seems to be on your heart to give your son a sibling.
You mentioned an ex and an absent father… Are y’all married? Bc if not, and these are just exes, wait for a good man to raise your son and future child with. You’ll find him if you’re intentional about your dating practices. (Easier said than done lol)
There are lots of very effective natural birth control methods. Marquette is one I’ve heard of a lot… I think Bradley too?
Ofc the only thing that’s 100% is abstaining from guys you don’t wanna risk raising a kid with
Your overwhelm is totally valid, Mama. You’re juggling a lot, and doing such a great job even just being concerned about these things! ❤️
I am a single mom. The ex and my sons father arent the same man.
Sorry to hear your story, life is full of surprises, but God gave a child and he is ur responsibility, he is not doing well, and u have things u have to work on. Maybe just draw red circle around men until u and ur son are in a good place in life. And try become the best version of yourself for your son, I'm doing the same for my daughter, I didn't plan properly and have not much money now as a single mom. I guess I'm done with babies, and we women are kind of crazy when it comes to babies 😋we have to control our emotions, and say no more babies until I'm rich like Kim Kardashians 😁 ❤️❤️
Because I have always wanted at least 2 kids. I grew up with siblings and it would be nice for my son to have the same.
I am aware he is my responsibility and I take care of him and the other responsibilities I have in my life that I didn't feel the absolute need to mention. I've had a big one since 2016 and its not a child. If you want to draw a red circle around men do so but don't suggest it to others. I also made mention of birth control in my post, so its not like I am actively trying to have myself end up in the same predicament again. I also told myself I shouldn't even reply to that being that it pissed me off.
Have you tried an UID for birth control? I used to take pills and they made me gain like 25lbs. At some point I decided to switch to Mirena, hormonal IUD and it was one of the best decisions I made! No side effects, no weight gain, no mood swings and a bonus - no periods! 😄
I tried the IUD for 4 months, for me it just made me bleed constantly. Plus I think its probably just a me thing but I didn't personally like that I could feel it inside me. I mean I know thats kind of the whole point. I ended up having it removed. It was also causing me other issues.
yeah my best bet is going to have to be condoms probably and I am not partnered.
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