Without blaming men, why can't you keep a man?

I've kept this one 😅somehow 🤣

Im married now but I think the men don’t want to be kept lol.

that's blaming the man.

I won’t tolerate bullshit.

Cuz im a lesbian now and dont want to keep them around 😂

No its not, if someone wants to be in a relationship they would. Just like saying, what did you do to get married ? Nothing! My husband wanted to marry me so we are married. Men who want to be kept, stay. Men who don’t go, or cheat, or never give you the option to be in relationship anyway lol

I was smothering and needed a lot of reassurance. Also didn’t see red flags or convinced myself it wasn’t that bad.

Took me a few men to find my husband 👌🏻 he enjoys my “passion to love” and reminds me every day he loves me.

Do you think a man could have a valid reason to not want to get married or be in a relationship? Or maybe that you may contribute to him not wanting those things with you?

Of course they can have valid reasons to not want to get married or be in a relationship but if thats the case then they shouldn’t start the relationship. These conversations about what to do to get or keep a man usually always revolve around the woman having to preform xyz, cook, clean, be submissive or other bs and the truth is even women doing all those things dont “keep” men. Also relationships dont always work out. So saying why cant you keep a man ? Only relationships that result in marriage or years are seen as successful? Sometimes they just run their course. Or people stay and endure terrible relationships for years years. Does that mean they know how to keep a man ?

Anyway maybe if you didnt center the question around men and instead asked women what are some reasons they contributed to past relationships not working out, I would have answered differently but if its the “keeping a man” narrative. The answer will always be a man who wants to be kept will be kept.

I often hear from women on here how a man switched up on them after x amount of time. Do you think that could be a reason for men too? Like they thought a woman was a certain for x amount of time then the woman switched up and was a different person than they started the relationship with?

If it's bs for a woman to do things like that for a man because that's what he wants, is it also bs for a woman to expect things from a man? Like make a certain amount of money, provide, protect, and all that bs?

I actually agree with you. Not every relationship HAS to work out and just because say a marriage lasted 6yrs doesn't mean it was a failure. I like what you said there.

However I never asserted success. I just meant why don't doesn't the man/men want to stay with you or how did you contribute to the break up? Where did I say failure??

I didn't mention unhappy relationships and for you to say I centered it around men when I specifically said "Without blaming men..." 😂 the fact you said that is funny

That's not the narrative I'm setting up. Without blaming the men, why did he not stay/you couldn't keep him. Thats literally the same questioned you posed of 'what are some reasons they contributed to past relationships not working..'

Maybe we just dont see eye to eye here but that is the same way worded different and we will not argue semantics here

You did center it around men, by saying “ why cant you keep a man?” Like I said previously that implies there’s something that women can do and other women reading can learn to do or not to do to “keep” a man. And thats simply untrue. Men who want to be kept, are kept.

Yea honey that's the same as why didn't the relationship last lol like I said we aren't gonna argue semantics. Removing the man out of the equation is NOT making him the center of it

And that is so wrong. Men can WANT to be kept but the woman doesn't want to keep him. So I could ask any man the same question. He could say he didn't make enough money, or he was boring, etc. Now that's putting it on the man and seeing how he contributed the relationship not lasting

I'm simply asking women. There's no narrative of putting down women. We can all stand to improve, man and women! I think you took offense on behalf of women because you believe in the narrative that women are held to a certain standard and men aren't. I hope you can let go of your hurt and projection and simply answer a question that could go to anyone, man or woman. That's true equality babe

Im not hurt or projecting, I’m married so technically I can “keep” a man by your standards no ? Im just pointing out how conversation prefaced like this usually go and a woman not wanting to “keep” a man is different from them being unable to “keep” a man. You used the word “can’t“ actually. Implying its a flaw in them. They can’t do it. Anyway trying to say im hurt when youre the one asking this weird question of other from an anonymous post is laughable but okay.

mmm not that you're single but you seem to take offense to the slightest hint that a woman may be at fault for something. Here's something life taught me, We can all stand to improve and having faults doesn't make us any less. I could be wrong about you there but that's what you're giving rn

That being said, yes if a woman wants to keep the man but she has some issue or short coming that makes that man NOT want to be kept, that's exactly what I'm asking lol

Yes women can have and do have flaws. A lot of men CANT even get a woman. That means they have flaws or shortcomings that need to be worked on if they want to get a woman

See how you're coming at me at the end there with that insult? That's why this is anonymous. I can't ask a question? It's not an unfair question. And I have a genuine interest in what women have to say.

The fact you have to attack the question is laughable but okay...that doesn't sound nice does it? But here we are and you brought us here

I think a lot of times when women come up here saying their man switched up on them it is because they are dealing with narcissistic abuse. Granted it is possible for any gender to be narcissistic. But if we are talking about the women on here I see so many keywords and phrases that people who go through narcissistic abuse use. The patterns are there if you watch for them.

Correct, I am not single and can “keep” a man while being an easily offended woman with no faults because women don’t have faults. That was my entire point!

Im married now but ive since realised that I used to sell the idea of being inlove than actually being in love.

I just haven’t met the right one for me

When I was younger before my husband I didn’t even want to date.

I had high dreams/expectations for my own life, I didn’t think anyone could match that till I found him and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had or was striving for for a bit of fun.

I don’t keep cheats and liars
I will when I meet the right one for me

For myself it was lack of communication and being my authentic self

I was shy and quiet and refused to step out of my shell to be a person worth being with.