Calling in sick to work guilt!

Someone help me with not feeling so guilty about calling in sick!!! I’ve always been an over thinker and a worrier and it honestly drives me crazy. I haven’t called in sick once this pregnancy yet despite having days I could have but this morning I just felt so tired and drained and on top of that dealing with an unwell toddler all night, I physically and mentally couldn’t bare the thought of logging on so have taken a sick day and just feel over run with guilt and worry and like I’m failing for not being able to manage it all. Crazy thoughts run through my head that I will lose my job and I’m over thinking my conversation already with my manager when I am back even though she is lovely. How do I snap out of this!! 😅

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You did the right thing. Your health and wellbeing is the most important thing, so well done for following your instinct to protect it when you needed you.

I'm a worrier and an overthinker too but honestly you have done nothing wrong and I'm sure your manager would rather you took a day off instead of pushing yourself too hard and ending up really poorly/burnt out.

It may help to look at this from the perspective of your manager / employer. If you are not able to carry out all your responsibilities because you are not 100% then it’s better for them to know you are unavailable for the day so that they can plan around that - whether that’s covering the work elsewhere or accepting that it will be done at a later date when you return.

As a manager I’d much rather that than thinking someone is available and working when actually they’re not being as productive.

Plus taking a day to reset now will likely mean that you have much more energy and productivity when you return, rather than if you had just powered through the rest of the week.

Your job will replace you in the spot… but can you replace your pregnancy just as easy as that? No. Baby needs you more than any job. Don’t feel bad, take good care of ourself x

I have exactly the same feelings! I am a teacher and only take one sick day this pregnancy and my toddler was also poorly. Neither of us were awful but we both benefited from a TV day with naps!

What my line manager said to me that really helped is that when you fall pregnant, your number one priority isn't you anymore it's the baby and ultimately when you are having one of those days, you have to do what's best for them and that is nap!
Also you can't lose your job for pregnancy related illness as that is discrimination!!

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Should I wake baby up to feed?

First time mum here, my baby is 2 months old today. Should I be waking her for night feeds? During the day she feeds every 2–3 hours, but at night she usually sleeps from around 11pm to about 3am, and I’ve been waking her then. Is that okay, or should I let her sleep?

Night time help!

Hi! My baby boy is nearly 6 months old and every night he wakes up anytime from 2am onwards and will be awake for well over two hours.
I’ve tried changing his naps during the day, changing his bedtimes and yet nothing seems to help!
Any tips that might help this exhausted mummy?
I don’t mind the wake ups if he would settle straight away but he views it as a whole wake window.

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Hello mamas, my newborn is 6 weeks old. Last night she slept for 9 hours without waking up for a feed. The previous night she slept for 8 hours as well. During the day she had quite a lot awake periods and she was eating well. She also gained 1kg for a month which the midwife said it's very good. Is she okay like that and should I wake her up to feed her during the night?

Feel like I’m solo parenting

I’m so sick of arguing with my husband over this.

My daughter is 11 weeks old, and my husband works Monday to Friday. I look after her all day every day, and on the weekends and some evenings he goes out cycling. I don’t mind this, he gets extremely ratty and stir crazy if he doesn’t go out, and it drives me mad.

Lately. My daughter’s sleep pattern is all over the place in terms of the second stretch. She tends to go for 6 hours, then has a feed, then either goes for another 4 hours, or starts to fuss at about 5:30 am. (I realise this first stretch is a dream, please believe me I’m not complaining about that.

My husband starts work at 7 am from home, or leaves at 6 am if he’s going into the office.

This means that he comes home, feeds her once while I’m in the shower, while I handle all of the other feeds/ settling her off at night. I rarely go back to sleep after as I’m so wired. He also struggles to sleep once he’s awake, so when she fusses for her night feed, he’s up from around 4 am regardless of feeding her or not.

I see him for around 3 hours a day apart from weekends, and in that time I cook, he does the dishes and cleans the bottles. We then bath/wash LO, he feeds her, then we watch a film or show until her next feed at 9:30 pm.

He has gone up to bed early to try and get more sleep because he feels like he’s exhausted to the point of headaches. (I am too, but it seems like this isn’t as important because I don’t go to work. He acknowledges that it’s hard work looking after her all day, this isn’t the problem). I have stayed downstairs with her, because to me, disturbing a sleeping baby only to put her in a crib for 30 minutes after settling her again, to feed her and then have to restart the process is ridiculous when she’s asleep already.

I feel like I do everything. I feed and settle her every time. When he can’t calm her down within 10 minutes he passes her back despite me having her all day and him not seeing her.

I love my daughter more than anything, and my husband is lovely, I swear. It’s just a really tough time with her sleep, and I’m struggling to cope. I’m so, so tired. And he doesn’t seem to realise this, because he is. We have talked about this so many times, but it just turns into an argument. Please tell me this will pass?

Crazy MIL??

I’ve always found my mother in law tricky - she has a hideous nervous energy about her and finds everything absolutely hilarious which sets me right on edge. We’ve just had a baby and she came down to meet her. It was very soon after baby was born so we were pretty knackered and I’d suffered bad hypertension in hospital and had had to stay in for a week. She had wanted to come and see me there but I managed to get my husband to say no- she would have not made my blood pressure any better!
So she came to see the baby a couple of weeks after with her partner- who btw had a chest and they didn’t tell us.
My MIL was at her most hyper and difficult. She stayed hours and hours and held the baby all the way though- fed her her bottle (just took it off my husband) without asking and took photos and posted them without asking.
Then I was changing the babies nappy. Baby had terrible nappy rash at the time and was screaming with pain - making me want to cry. My MIL just sat there watching - hooting with laughter. 🫠
But the worst thing is she made these WEIRD comments - there was a photo of baby just wearing a vest and she said she “looked a hussy.” Then later when we were describing about the baby having phototherapy- which was horribly traumatic- my husband said how he tucked her into his denim jacket to keep warm - his mothers response was “ah so she likes a bit of rough???”
I think in her mind she was being really funny but I was appalled by her comments. In the end I made and excuse, went upstairs to have a shower and then sat there until they left. I used to feel fed up and weary at the thought of her but now I feel pure anger. It’s tricky as obviously she’s my husbands mum. She also gave us the deposit for our house and is generally generous in that way. She and my husband have a really odd relationship in my opinion- I’m super close to my fam and they all live nearby so we see them a lot
His mum lives in Devon and we’re in Kent which is something to be thankful for.
After they finally went she messaged my husband and asked to come and stay for a week. Thankfully he has the sense to say no. But Christ what is wrong with the women? Those comments have made me feel so hostile towards her. Should I just get over it??

Baby won’t sleep

Somebody please help me.
She’s crying, I’m crying. Idk what to do. Husband isn’t here rn and my mom’s asleep.
She’s not hungry, diapers freshly changed, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable in any way. She just seems tired but can’t fall asleep. She’s been doing this for a few days now, just fighting sleep. I refuse to let her cry it out and I’m doing everything I know and can do at this time. She’ll take the boob but keep stretching away every few seconds. She keeps chewing on her hand like she’s hungry but won’t eat cause she already did 30 minutes ago. I’m just at a loss and starting to get stressed. Nothing is helping.