not enjoying motherhood

no judgement please, i feel like i have no one to talk to or no one understands so if even one person reading to this relates i’ll feel happy. my baby is 9 months currently, she’s teething and has dreadful seperation anxiety, as much as i adore being with her and we really do have nice times together she is my world and little bestie in life. but i can’t help but feel this sadness and exhaustion constantly. i feel like none of my friends bother with me anymore, things with my partner just feels different and i miss how we used to be and he’s working so much at the moment i literally am doing it alone. i’m grateful for my family support but even they work full time too. i’ve been up all night with my screaming baby (i think because her teeth) ive tried everything and ive been up since 5am and im already completely exhausted and it’s only 8am🫣 my partner is on another 12hr shift too so won’t be back til the baby is in bed asleep so ive got another full fat day. I’m 21 (got pregnant at 20) so i’m a young mum so none of my friends have had babies yet and are all at different stages of their lives. i just feel like i’m not enjoying motherhood at the moment and honestly just feel like a terrible mum. i don’t know if anyone else gets this but i’d never regret my baby girl because she genuinely is the best thing to ever happen to me, but sometimes i partly regret becoming a mum because i just feel like i can’t handle it at times. i get judged for my age so before everyone hates on me because im a young mum, i don’t think being a mum is easy at any age and at least i can hack the lack of sleep abit better now than say when im abit older.
anyway sorry for the vent does any one else feel like this? i just don’t know what to do anymore and im just snapping at everyone which is so unlike me, i don’t even recognise myself anymore :(

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You are definitely not alone! Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and no kidding, it is so so lonely. Specially the nights! I promise you it will get better once the baby becomes a toddler (in a few short months) and you will be able to do a bit of self care here and there as they become more independent.

If there is anyone on this planet who can take care of the baby and be a mum to that baby, it’s you!

Are you able to take the baby to parks, drive, salon etc by yourself? I have learned that as much as I try to involve my toddler in my life, things seem to be a little easier. He gets tired, gets fresh air, spends quality time and sleeps well after all that.

Stay strong…you’re almost there!

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i do feel like this too, i would say reach out to your gp for help! it is so hard, you can't help but just want to drive away and spend time to yourself. it sounds like you're doing A LOT, don't put yourself down. motherhood is the hardest thing and seeing others online with their seemingly "perfect" babies just makes you feel that much more of a failure as a mother. i'm always open for a chat and to be here for you when times are rough like this. i completely relate and am not judging whatsoever, take some time to make yourself a GP appointment to talk through your feelings and your options ❤️

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thank you so much honestly🥺 its so nice to hear that some other mums relate sending hugs xxx

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When my LG was that age she had many nights where she’d just be up for hours. To be honest I gave up trying to get her back to sleep so we’d come in the living room and she’d go in her travel cot with a few small toys and the tv on really low. She was quite happy to do that and would fall back to sleep within half an hour. I then went and cleaned the kitchen or the bathroom or something because I was awake at that point. It honestly was really nice to have them early hours completely on my own. I’d put something on my phone to watch in the background and just have time for me. Then the pair of us would just nap thru the day together. And reach out to your friends and just see what the response is. I know they don’t always want to do things with a baby (I’m 20 so I understand) but one of my closest friends adores my LG and she comes to soft plays with me and we all go for lunch together and it’s really nice. If they don’t want to do that then it might be time for them to go xx

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I feel you sis I have good days and bad days but being a mother is a huge life change and responsibility and there are definitely days I wish I had a time Time Machine and could be a free person again 😭🤣 it’s completely normal to feel this way don’t feel guilty at all. I’m turning 25 this year and none of my friends have kids either and I feel like naturally I’m not wanting to be around them as much because it makes me miss my old life even more but I’m trying not to isolate myself. We just have to push through and be resilient and try not to be tough on ourselves on our bad days

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The first year is TOUGH. I found around 6-10 months some of the toughest months of my life. You are not alone. And I promise it does get much easier. My little boy is 2 now but I look back on the first year wondering how I got through it both mentally and physically!

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honestly these comments have made me feel miles better thank you mama’s💕

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I always say being a mum is the most challenging but rewarding thing I've ever done. I remember my first being 9 months and feeling like I just wanted to get 'me' back. The nights will get easier and you will get moments to yourself back. I always listen to a good podcast at night (makes things a little easier). I'm 30 and most of my friends don't have children and are living a totally different life. Lean on friends and family when you can. You've got this.

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think back to past moments in your life - how many seasons did you think you were stuck in that you can look back at now and see you’re on the other side of? MANY!

like everything, these are just seasons that will move and pass with time. keep your head up and focus on the good memories you want to make with your baby and then before you know it, you’ll be in another season and hopefully a happier one xxx

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It will get better 🩷. I became a mom at 21. My baby was SO CLINGY. I absolutely hated it for the first several years.
My son is 4 now, and I love being his mom. He sleeps through the night, is potty trained, and is able to clearly verbalize his wants & needs. He is funny, helpful, and loving.
The first 3 years are hard, but it will get better.

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I used to compare this time period to *quite literally* being in the trenches.

Granted my daughter had colic, sleeping, and sensory issues from day 1, but doing it alone is super draining!

Do you have any form of community, family or friends to give you a break now and then? If not maybe reach out to locals moms in the area because doing it alone is HARD.

If possible, take a little time for you and relax, eat a healthy meal, or simply exist. You’re not a bad mom, just a mom.

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Completely understandable to feel this way the sleep deprivate and your hormones play a big rule, your life's completely changed don't be so hard on ya self the fact that you feel bad like ur being a bad mum is showing that your actually a good mum for caring so much.

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Mother

The house is quiet.
Finally, a moment to myself.
I sit on the couch, expressing milk for his next feed.
Time circles my mind.
Do I have enough time to write this?
Should I sleep instead?
It’s getting late.
I should be grateful.
I should be present.
I should… I should.
The guilt.
The intrusive thoughts.
The disconnection from self.
The robotic washing of bottles, clothes, and dishes.
Then the question returns.
Do I have enough time for me?
What me?
Who am I?
Where am I?
I miss her.
I miss me.
Who have I become?
I have become a mother.
I am everything to this little human who will one day call me mum.
His life depends on me with every waking moment.
I give.
And I give.
Then he smiles.
And suddenly I see him
the little human I have nourished with tired eyes,
with time,
with love stretched beyond capacity.
Sometimes I leave to rest.
To breathe.
But even then my mind returns home.
I should be there.
I should be caring for my baby.
Is this normal?
Am I normal?
I feel myself unbecoming the woman I once knew so well.
They say this time is sacred.
And it is.
But it goes fast.
Maybe because we are not fully here in these early days.
We are surviving.
Living on autopilot.
Days blur together.
Until suddenly he shows me something new —
a smile,
a look,
a tiny trick he has learned.
And that moment is priceless.
His beautiful smile.
His big, beautiful eyes.
He is beginning his life
as I share mine
to keep him thriving.
A sacred sacrifice.
A whirlwind.
A shift in reality.
Who am I?
I am mother.

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25

7

Am I wrong for getting upset?

To make a long story short, we were added to a group chat for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to plan the bachelor party to go to Vegas. So very been boiling about this all day.
I sent one message about finding a babysitter for my kid, and she messaged me privately with a very backhanded comment that I should not discuss anything regarding my son because her husband’s friends do not give a shit ….. as if I am supposed to cater to their interests…. This is my cousin by the way, she only has me, and her sister for family at her wedding the rest are his family and friends.

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11

Am I overthinking this ?

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way from my husband wanting to put my 2 yo daughter in daycare he always brings it up. But mind you I’m a stay at home mom. And my daughter does learn now she’s not getting no 3-4hr learning session but the thing is she knows all her alphabets, she knows her numbers from 1-20, and she knows a good amount of animals, and she even knows a few sign language that she caught on from Mrs. Rachelle at 1 yo ! She’s very smart and picks up on alot of words pretty fast. But knowing my daughter she doesn’t have a long attention span so I do what I know how she’ll learn best, she learn through music, we watch videos, and I physically show her and question her. But sometimes I feel offended when he brings up she should be in daycare around other kids learning as if I’m not with her everyday .

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4

Does anyone have a child that’s a bit “different” when it comes to in law’s family? 😅😂

My sister in law is having a conversation with my 4year old and ask what their favorite tv show is and my 4/yo response “stranger things” and absolutely no comment when she said that 😂
She ask what is their favorite food and my 4yo says “spam” their response is “huh? What? “
Then asks what their favorite candy is and my 4y/o responds “no I don’t eat that. It’s not good for you” no response again 😂
I feel like there’s an expectation they have towards my kids
If they ask what their favorite tv show is they’ll expect a “Mickey mouse Minnie Mouse” that type of stuff for ex
Please tell me I’m not the only one and how do yall feel about it?😅😂

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11

Husband is happy with only one kid, not me

We had another conversation about it tonight. We had our beautiful daughter 10 months ago, he is very happy to have her and totally in love. But he has personal/financial goals and is happy the way things are. He is looking forward for her to be a bit older and to be able to share more with her.

Me on the other hand am very sad about not having a second baby. I always viewed my life with two kids and am an only child and it seems I would have loved to have a sibling. I know kids don't always get along but me and my husband are both only childs... And I feel it would be great for her to have a sister or brother to share life with.

He says he is 90% sure he only wants one and I keep getting my hopes up on basically nothing... Did anyone go through something similar ? What happened ? And are you happy with your decision to have one more or stop at one ?

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8

My mil is the reason I see my husband as less of a man

LA little back story, my mil got a new bf last year and a month into dating they insisted he be called grandpa. Fast forward to a few months ago mother-in-law and her boyfriend‘s behavior has turned nasty after father-in-law has come back into the picture. After mother-in-law and her boyfriend’s behavior at family events, such as my son’s baptism, my Christmas party and my father’s Christmas party, I told my husband to tell his mom that her boyfriend is no longer to be called Grandpa. fast-forward three months and he still hasn’t told her because he doesn’t want to upset her feelings. Now her bf wants to bring his son over to my house to meet my kids or his “grandkids” and they didn’t ask my opinion. I told my husband how I feel about it and he’s not telling her no because he doesn’t want to upset her. I’m starting to see my husband as less of a man because of his mom and putter her above me.

Am I over reacting? What should I do?

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6

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