Husband not defending you against laws
Would you guys separate from your partner/husband if he continued to enable his parents bad behaviour and let them treat you like an outsider but yet if you ever were to defend yourself he went off? My husband has been very angry, cruel and nasty for the past several years, his temper has escalated, even more so when it comes to his parents. They leave me out and are cold to me yet all over our daughter. They live several hours away and were content seeing us several times a year until we had our daughter and now they want to see us all the time. They never once checked up or messaged me during the pregnancy and would go straight to him calling wanting to know every detail but as soon as our daughter was born his mum would message asking for photos of her all the time, they ignore me and hold out their hands for our daughter. They are so pushy with coming to see her. I went through so much with them postpartum its at the point I had to have counselling. And my husband just enables them. They even said a few weeks ago to him that they feel they're not even allowed to see her when they had only seen us and stayed a month ago. And we are spending all Easter with them too. I'm starting to panic because it's coming up close. They chose not to get me an egg last year for the first time ever and it was my first year with our daughter and he never said anything. His parents even said at Easter this year that our toddler can use their shower in their caravan like they offered it (we will be camping) but said straight after that i won't be able to. They used the excuse we both wouldn't fit which is complete crap because myself and my daughter are much smaller in there together than my MIL who is a very big lady. My husband never thought to say that that is a bit rude. I'm so anxious about being stuck with all of them with no escape and no one to advocate for me. These things I mentioned are only few of the many things they have done. Please be kind. What would you do? Oh another thing, my husband always goes back on boundaries with them that I had to say myself I.e I've told them no kissing our daughter multiple times and last time they stayed my husband told our daughter to kiss them (she wouldnt) but he does stuff like that and it shows he ignores my boundaries with them and goes out of his way to push them. Things like this are making me think that I need to get out
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This guy has no respect for you what so ever, doesn't appear to give a crap about your feelings and treats you like dirt, first I'd have a heart to heart the big chat the real deal the final one, then if you don't find out why he treats you this way and he doesn't be honest and open with you and he refuses to change, blames you etc and isn't willing to go to Dr for help with his anger and feelings, perhaps he has some underlying issue or condition.
If nothing works then I'd leave him, get your life back and be the best mum for your daughter. He will either stay away or come crawling back, the choice at that point is yours to make ✨
you need to put your foot down like NOW.
You definitely need to have a serious chat with him, but only if you are prepared to follow through with the ultimatum if he doesn't improve. As if you say you're going to leave and then don't, I'd guess things would get worse.
I'm not that welcome with my in laws, so I killed them with kindness, I can see just how frustrated his mum gets as she can't pick fault like she usually does.
We had so much drama before and I made the decision not to cut them off, but to never get emotionally invested with them. When you have zero expectations, it's hard for them to disappoint!
But I always go with my husband to see them, I'm always nice and pretend to care for my husband's sake. However, he is definitely on my side which makes it easier, and he does tell his mum if she oversteps.
decenter them I gave up that idea I would have a close relationship with my in laws. dead that dream they don’t have to be best friends with you but they need to respect you
Yes 100%
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