How would you handle this situation ?
Show your support
I have a friend who's fiance was paying 1200 for child support and he went to court and fought it now he's only paying like 200 something also. Something you guys may want to consider.
@Brianna agreed . Wild to think she’s requesting another increase right ? SMH
@Brianna yea im trying to figure out options since she wants more money . It’s so crazy when we constantly provide financially and materialistic things she needs at her moms .it completely defeats the purpose of giving her money to begin with . It’s so ridiculous
Bm constantly says she can’t afford it then she knows we can’t resist so we buy things sd needs . Sd knows we’re the sole providers too , idk if these are also convos that we need to have with sd where her mom should be providing these things to her too .. but I don’t want it to be bashing her mom
I would leave the convo with bm only. No reason to upset the 12 year old. And unfortunately you guys prob should start resisting sending money bc right now she knows you won't stop so she's not trying to help herself. And yeah I'd start gathering info and whatnot prob should show the court that they aren't trying to do anything to support SD. Idk what your guys situation is if you want to try to fight for you having more custody then mother as thats one of the ways I can see this turning if you do have all this evidence that she's being negligent to her child.
@Brianna sd would never want to live with us either . Primarily because we “have rules “ so that’s something that’s working against us . And they’re in a diff state so it would be a lot harder to get more time ..
Ah gotcha gotcha. Yeah then I'd just fight the money situation bc that's a bit ridiculous. And idk what state your in or what state the court took place in but it could be that they refuse to get a job so that the child support stays high bc from my experience they take in what both households are making and try to match that to get what you'd have to pay. So may have to get a lawyer and prove they aren't trying to help themselves and get it lowered like that.
@Brianna agreed that’s what I’m thinking too . The amount for child support plus the amount we provide is wild . Honestly if sd needed more things like for a sport or something legitimate it’s not an issue to pay for these things but knowing that sd gets nothing out of this and not fighting it I feel like is just enabling
child support is exactly that, not active parenting. So you guys should just provide the way she does basic care every day
The child lives with her though ?
@Nicole yes
yeah I think she’s just accommodating for being a full time parent, it’s a full time job.
@Nicole half the time step daughter is at her grandmas . And then bm and her husband travel . Or go to concerts in other states . Or vacation .bm doesn’t even know what size clothes or shoes step daughter wears
Set boundaries. Unfortunately that's probably what your gonna have to do. Your prob going have to talk with bm and tell her that you won't provide any other money outside of the 1300 or holiday expenses. That what we had to do with our situation. Bc bm and her husband didn't want to get a job and trying live off the state. Well guess what? When we stopped giving them extra money low and behold they both got jobs. And I would be documenting all this, like are they texting you for more money? Bc you could probably take her to court saying they don't provide necessary things for daughter and always asking for more money. 1300 for one child is alot. I have 2 SK and we are only paying 550 for both so I think you guys might want to revise that or look into going to court again.