Hi

Am I wrong for not letting my son talk or see his dad he’s away for 10 months but I just don’t feel comfortable and I don’t want to confused him I’m also really emotional on the subject so anything I do say I just start crying I’m 33 weeks pregnant idk what to do I don’t want to hurt either side of it I really don’t know how go about it

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Are you guys together and he's just away for a while or are you separated? Do you guys have an okay relationship? Do you believe he will be a present father when he isn't away? Has the father been asking to see/talk to his son while he is away?
There are a lot of factors to think about. The main thing is what is best for your childs and your own mental health? Message me if you want to talk about it.

When you say “away” for 10 months my mind immediately went to incarcerated 😬 is it that or away for work or something else? Also how old is your son?

yes military

my son is 1 year and it’s army idk how to do or what lol

If you are together and you believe he will be a good and present father and he's been asking it would help your son remember his face and voice better to do video/phone calls. It will prevent your son being afraid/treating his father like a stranger and also prevent some resentment on dads end.

May I ask why you feel like you shouldn't or don't want to?

I only don’t want to do it because save him for emotional
Distress on him because his family come and go out of life but just a stressful thing you bring me in tears

I don't mean to stress you out more. I know it's rough to do what you find best for your child when others have opinions.
I give you information from my own life experience. I had a bad relationship with my first child's dad and I ended up getting a restraining order but I always believed a child should have both parents. I did the video calls and phone calls and saw it improved father/ son relationship. Eventually I gave up being the only one putting effort into that relationship and stopped initiating the calls and now my son views his dad as a stranger and his father is resentful of me and blames me for everything ( he doesn't make the effort so I ignore this). This is why I said there are many factors to consider. It's ultimately your decision. What do you feel up to doing? You want to save your baby the stress of having unstable relationships. Unfortunately his father is in the military and if he decides or is career military this is going to be the normal for your family. It's a lot.

Anytime I’m gone or my fiance is working and we ft sometimes the kids cry cus they miss him but I made a calendar for when he gets back they see how close or far away it will be. I’m not sure he’s old enough to understand that part but I def think you should still let him see him. Oh! Have your husband make videos for him so you can show your son, I made a private YouTube where my fiance and mom send videos I put on for the kids to dance to or listen to❤️

especially while you are pregnant. You have a ton going on. Maybe tell his dad you want to put a pin in it until after you've settled with your newborn and if he's insisting on it come back to it.

I put it on the tv if you didn’t understand why the YouTube acc lol

Can you imagine if you had to be gone somewhere and they didn't let you see and talk to your baby every day? You should let them see each other

my son is very emotions are more important than his dad

his dad agree on it he’s very sensitive with his emotions we really don’t want to hurt like he has anxiety already he get too upset it’s not like I want to do it but if what’s best for him that’s what I’ll do

I think he's probably picking up on your emotions more than you know. If you were enthusiastic and happy about the video calls, I think he would quickly be too. I know video calls with family are a huge source of joy for my girl. Maybe it's time to talk to your doctor about depression? Or getting help in some way.

I’m not depressed I’m pregnant his doctor told me he has anxiety he’s said just don’t upset him so I’m going what’s best for my child

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

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Hi

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