English partner is converted to Muslim

so my partner who’s English and both parents are English as well, has converted to being Muslim and I’m not religious has anyone else been through something similar and how did they manage the change? He wants to get married but I’m not ready yet and since then we have had no intimacy and it’s been a while.. I’m not so say bothered by that though I think it’s just more the lack of connection we have now and are interests and beliefs don’t match. I’m doing my best to accommodate but I feel a pressure from him to be married in order for us to be somewhat back to how we were.. I apologise if anyone finds this offensive I’m not trying to be at all. its just a little strange to me and I don’t know anyone who’s been through this
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Not been in your situation but I am a covert myself of English and St Lucian heritage if you have any questions feel free to dm me or ask any questions here and I’ll see if I can help from a womens perspective with no judgement and I can let you know what rights you would have if you did want to get married for example he would be liable for all household necessities and expenses unless you chose to contribute and to give you a dowry of your choice

Hey mama. Just curious since u said ur not religious? Are u a non religious Muslim, Christian or Jewish? Or u just don’t come from a religious background at all? Cuz if ur not a Muslim & ur Husband is now a Muslim, I don’t think understand the pressure to marry cuz only one of u is a Muslim. He can’t really pressure u to do any religiously cuz u don’t practice the religion he practices therefore u don’t believe in the same things. I would just explain to him that since ur not a Muslim urself, ur not going to follow his religious wishes cuz u don’t have to

He shouldn’t really be pressuring you into getting married as our religion does not allow that. Faith is personal, it can’t be imposed on anyone. If you both care for one another, he should be giving you the time to adjust & you should be giving him the time to get used to this new lifestyle of his. Honestly, there’s so much to study, practice & learn when reverting, marriage shouldn’t really be a priority yet for him.. ✅ You should give yourself the time to better understand one another’s interests & beliefs again as they don’t always stay the same throughout life so need a refresh once in a while, ✅ Be open & honest about how you feel about this change with him, understand his perspective too, ✅ Don’t rush into any big decisions, work on the smaller issues & resolve them steadily with open mindsets, get back on the same page & move forward. Wishing you both well InShaAllah 🫶🏻

Hey lovely, what he means by marriage I’m guessing it’s the Islamic marriage so that it is fine for him to be intimate with you, it doesn’t have to be the civil marriage. Islamic marriage is not viewed as an actual marriage in non Muslim countries. I hope it goes easy for you🤍

I don’t practice any religion I was brought up Christian but don’t practice in my adult life. I don’t have anything against religion I just don’t find interest in doing that not that I dislike it. Just a personal choice. He wants us to be married so we can be intimate again. He has suggested 2 kinds of marriage one muslim and one that I wanted which is non religious. It’s an important thing for me and I don’t want to do it because of religion if that makes sense? I want to get married when the time is right but not being intimate it’s feels like pressure and he keeps mentioning that if I marry him we can be intimate again. Thanks all for replying x

Ahhh thank u for clarifying. Now I understand. I personally don’t think u guys align. Religion is a big deal & so is marriage. I don’t see how ya’ll would be able to make it work when u both have different outlooks on how to continue further in ur relationship as he has gone off on this religious journey. I don’t understand how he wants an Islamic Marriage bt ur not a Muslim wife. I understand as a Muslim man he can still marry a non practicing woman from whatever religious background, bt what I don’t understand is why he wants u to follow a religion that ur not. If HE converted, then let that be HIS journey, no need to try to force u into marriage to try to get u to follow the rules of his religion. It just seems unnecessary for u to all of sudden go along with whatever his faith wants him to when ur not practicing that particular faith urself x

This sounds very complicated because I feel like you both will clash on this a lot because you both have different outlooks….Think you both need that proper chat and see how you guys can move forward with this.

I am a firm believer that partners must be on the same page about specific things, like religion, if they want to be married or not, kids or not, the place to live,... Those subjects are non negociable to me. I would personally not involve myself into something I didn't chose and even less feeling pressured at doing something I don't want to

If he converted he won't want sex until married as its against Islam. This is unlikely to change and could mean the end to your relationship without marriage. This isn't a reason to marry though. It does sound like you are in different places with different beliefs. Without common beliefs and goals a marriage would be difficult. I'd take some time to think. Is there anything keeping you together such as kids or home ownership?

We have one child and we also live together we have for the past 5 years and our child is only 3. it is very difficult as we do love each other still. I wouldn’t want to end our relationship and I think he feels the same. I understand why he chose to be Muslim and it’s really helped him with becoming happier and a better person as he struggled with drink. Since becoming Muslim he’s sober. I think he wants to do everything correctly it makes him feel good and he feels sex outside of marriage is yes against Islam. So in his head if I marry him he wouldn’t be against his religion. I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not converting also. I do try and accommodate by cooking him all halal meals but again I’m not Muslim and I find to manage both his and my lifestyle and around our child is challenging. Thanks all for your response x

Also when I do talk to him about how we can move forward he just mentions me marrying him like that will solve all.. i do also think we are not ready to be married yet not that I don’t love him but it’s definitely not the right time for us I still feel very young as I’m only 23 and he’s 28 x

All our fiancés are joined we both work and pay for things together as well. He is an incredible dad. He does pray 5 times a day and he has fasted for a month with everyone else for Ramadan. Eats all halal and no pork. I know how important it is to him as he gets very upset if he doesn’t follow his faith. I think because it’s helped him so much he wants me to also find the joy that he has from it. He does ask me to pray with him sometimes but I don’t as like I said I’m not religious and I reiterate to him that I’m not going to convert x

No, Islam should never be forced on anyone. He should know that since studying the religion. I think you guys should really sit down and have a proper heart to heart as this is something big. Clearly his life has changed completely but in no way should you be forced to follow it. He needs to put in mind that he has a child as well and needs to put that into consideration. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this 🥺🤍 hang in there mama 🤍

Thank you for replying again shay I appreciate it. I really want to make us work but I don’t know much about being Muslim and I don’t know how I can accommodate for his new lifestyle. Especially what’s right and wrong in his religion. If you have any suggestions how we could make it work but have separate beliefs I would appreciate any ideas. He’s happy to wait for me to marry him when I decide I want to but still not be intimate in-till then. It’s a shame something he cares for so strongly is dividing us as I really don’t want it to. Thank you for you kind words i will try and talk with him xx

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