Vent

Shut up and let people live. The “friends” u are ranting about are ur friends right? If so thats not very friend like of u to chat shit about them. Peoples finances are for people to decide. I spent £200 on a bag & i left my job because i deserved a designer handbag after the couple months i have had & i’m skint at times but friends rant to friends? What friend are u lmao

You have every right to express how you feel. When you feel as if you are in a situation as well where you need to try and save money where you can to make a living. When you have to do that and feel as if you can't do the finer things in life your kids it sucks. It hurts more and is more confusing to have people around you that have said one thing but do another it gets confusing because you dont know if what they say is true about them struggling with money or if they are just saying that. You want to have someone in your life who truly knows how it feels like you do to have to sacrifice doing certain things with your kids or for them because of having other responsibilities. Those who go and spend their money yes it can be for themselves because they deserve it and havent done something for themselves in a while and they absolutely should do that but i just hope they have all their bills paid and responsibilities taken care of before hand so they arent in bad situations

I understand how you feel. It could be your friends use buying things as a way of making themselves feel better. I know it's hard seeing them struggle and then spending.

@Jayne @Chris I think that's exactly it. I want to try and become friends with them but I worry. I have tried to have friends in the past like that and they would always ask me for money to help out and feed their kids. Maybe I have a little PTSD. I just don't understand that if you can't feed your kids or are worried about bills how you can spend more than your bills on things you don't need to feel better. Won't that make you feel worse in the end? I have always been the type of person if I have extra money I'll invite friends out and pay for it but then I get rejected because they don't have money but they have no problem asking for money so I don't feel like it's a pride thing. I just want to make some friends that stick around. And I feel like no one really wants friends where I am

Girl i get that its hard to find friends that feel like actual friends and not having people jist want things from you because they are struggling and feel that you should be able to help them but when you struggle and need help its as if they arent there. You just want a friend where you are receiving the same energy you are giving out. Its not too hard to ask for either and it sucks that it is such a hard thing to find

I'm looking for friends if you're interested.

@Ikraa hello. I am not really friends with these people I barely know them except one. I am trying to make friends. I try not to judge and I haven't said anything to them because it's not my right I don't know them that well. I get buying things and feeling like you deserve things. I don't get consistently putting yourself in a position to be homeless when you don't have to be. Even with advice and offers of help.

@Chris like a text friend 🤣 your are almost across the country from me. May I message you?

Some people don't really know poverty and think they do. I grew up with a mother who fell under the poverty baseline, she was on benefits and was the only financial contributing parent for a long time with 2 kids. Obviously the economy has shifted recently so she was probably a bit better off than most single mothers nowadays, but even so, we struggled sometimes and I know she didn't have anything left over at the end of the month. We buckled in and stopped putting our heating on for long periods of time and opted for additional layers, we'd save hot water from a boiled kettle in flasks to reduce electricity use, we reduced lengthy showers to washes in between, etc. You're not poor if you can afford luxuries. Although, I'm all for people saving and treating themselves to something if that's not something they typically do. Also, maybe I'm a terrible friend, but once my friendships enter asking me for money territory, I take a step back. I'm all for offering help when I see it's needed...

... But asking people for money is not something I've ever done and often leads to being taken advantage of. That's when things get transactional.

I think it’s a delicate situation and I’m In similar boat as you. Everyone around me is moaning about economy, not enough money, always broke but then treating themselves with expensive things. I feel frustrated with them when I have to listen to them about their problems as it’s very obvious they are the problem, but I have to stop myself as it’s their personal decision to be miserable. It could also be that they are going through smth . For my own peace of mind I’m distancing myself but then I’m all alone and back to square one.