Husband hates new haircut

I love your hair it suits you. It's how it makes you feel that matters.

He doesn’t have a right. AT ALL. It’s your hair, your choice and men who don’t like short hair on women are usually misogynistic in my experience

It's hair. It grows back. He needs to grow up. Depending on how long it was before it could take a bit to get used to. The only thing I could possibly say in his defense (and it doesn't even really have much validity) is that you went without him, so it could be a shock. That being said, you had mentioned it a bunch of times and at the end of the day it's all about how it makes you feel. My husband keeps asking me to go back to blond (he's never seen me with blond hair) I love my purple/red hair. When I'm older and grey and our children are grown and living on their own I'm totally going rainbow even though he doesn't want me to. I figure at that age I earn the right to do whatever, lol.

Your hair looks great! My husband has mentioned he likes the shaved on the side haircuts, but I'm too scared it won't suit me.

It's not about your hair, it's about control

If cutting your hair is really the reason for his behaviour this is incredibly childish. It’s really got fuck all to do with him how you choose to wear it. I’d tell him as much too. I love it! I didn’t see it before obviously but I think it really suits you and I hope him being an arse doesn’t change the way you feel about it if you were happy with it xx

Your hair looks fantastic and so much healthier than when it was long! You generally look healthier with this cut. I’m sure you’d look and feel even healthier cutting him out of your life. 🫶🏼🫂 He sounds like an insecure piece of trash.

It’s the cutest cut on your cute face. I think what the others are saying is true. It’s control and his problem honestly. Let his problem be his problem and don’t let him make it about u. Ignore it like it’s not happening just like you would if a kid was having a tantrum. Attention makes it grow.

You look gorgeous! Really suits you 🥰

I can relate. I used to wear mohawks; now my hair is down to my bum. My husband likes long hair so that's how I wear it.. sometimes I get upset about it but I chose to wear it how my husband likes it.. ironically my husband abandons me in stores either way 😂 it's just how he rolls.. for a long time I felt like he was ashamed to be with me until I confronted him about it. The difference for us is that he's always been that way, not like he's changed.

If his behaviour continues tell him you’re gonna shave the lot off 😂 You look fab. Hair is so temporary. What a manchild.

Girl what? You look fucking stunning seems he has his own insecurity to work on

He's being really immature, you guys need to have a talk about this behavior. Maybe he's being passive- aggressive because you didn't discuss it with him? Hopefully he really isn't that misogynistic. Calling you a Lesbian maliciously was totally uncalled for and he's got to apologize for that. It's as bad as if you were to tell him you really prefer men with hair vs bald. I hate when my husband shaves his hair close, I much prefer it a bit longer and being able to run my hands through his wavy hair which is really nice and it makes him look younger. He knows this and so keeps it longer for me as long as he can stand it and then he'll go cut it short when he cannot. I do have an initial gut reaction that I can't help to seeing it shaved but I won't give him the silent treatment or pretend I don't know him lol. I actually really like your cut, you can pull off long or short- lucky you!

You’re gorgeous. Truly. And the hair suits you. Second: I got an accidentally terrible haircut 4 months ago. I had really long, beautiful hair and it’s short and choppy now. My husband has ONLY ever told me “you look beautiful no matter what” and “it will grow back” and “I think you’re sexy no matter what you do.” Your husband’s response is immature, and frankly: controlling and abusive. I honestly couldn’t put up with that. Yes we can communicate our preferences but to treat you less than because of your haircut is so insecure on his part. Why do you love him/why do you stay?

He has no right to shame you or tell you what to do with your body. I have a Bald partner. And sometimes he gets like upset at people who take it for granted to have hair. Idk if that's the correct way to explain what I'm saying. But like maybe he's like "oh my God I can't grow hair and she's a woman with long beautiful hair and she chopped it. What a waste." I know that might be a stretch but I am kind of a try to see every angle and perspective kind of person. The real answer is to ask him. Ask him if your hair mattered so much that he can't be seen with you. And go from there.

I think it looks great on you!

Do you! He should love you as you but I get that men are weird about some stuff! You look great!

Sorry, but these people are giving you selfish advice. If my husband made a dramatic change to his appearance without getting my 2 cent first, I wouldn’t feel great about that. Especially if I really didn’t like it. We can’t force our spouses to like what we like and should accept the consequences of making a drastic change without their input. I do think on his part- he should make an effort to make you still feel supported and show that he loves you, but be honest about not liking the look. Especially with you already struggling with your self identity. Have you told him how hurt you feel? Also, kind of a low blow with the bald comment. It’s irrational and irrelevant because he can’t control baldness, even if he didn’t like it. And it has nothing to do with his taste in his wife’s appearance. If you want to be understood you have to demonstrate that same grace in spite of big feelings. 🫶🏽

If this is how he chooses to act, it’s deeper than a haircut. He has some deeply rooted misogyny.

@Shay I try to communicate with him in many ways. He is not great at it. If I want to talk about feelings he wants to go in the other room and play video games instead. My comment on his baldness was not meant in a mean way,he is not ashamed and neither am I. I just meant he doesn’t have any respect about my hair and the way I look and he doesn’t have any hair to be that bold. I just feel like he is mad because I chose to finally take action on something I wanted to do for myself and he didn’t like that move because now I don’t look pretty in his eyes. I put makeup on and red lips and told him I was trying to look beautiful for him and he told me that my hair being gone won’t help. So he is just being negative and this whole postpartum period after my c section a month ago has been rough because he doesn’t help like he said he would. He gets mad when the baby wakes him up at night. So on and so forth. It’s been stressful and I just wanted some options good or bad. No judgment here. Ty

My husband didn't want me to get a lip piercing. Went with me, held my hand, and only said that he loved me after. He didn't want me to dye my hair blonde. Called me beautiful regardless. Didn't want me to dye it too dark after, still compliments me. Your man is just being inconsiderate and shallow. And I know big changes in appearance can give confidence AND still feel vulnerable. He should make you feel celebrated and beautiful no matter what you do to your hair. All you can really do is say "your negative comments really hurt my feelings. I'm sorry you don't like it, hairstyles are temporary and if you can't say anything to make me feel supported, shut your bald ass up."

I think you look beautiful. If he has an opinion theres the door. Men don’t get to control us

@Heather you’re beautiful both ways, but I honestly love the shorter cut even more!! You rock it well!!

I was with a man who acted the same. He didn’t like that I had the confidence to be me, he hated my short hair but here I am 11 years later still rocking it. You look amazing. We didn’t work out but I hope your husband can get over himself.

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” - Coco Chanel Your new haircut rocks.

Hair literally grows back so not sure what the fuss is about, just very childish of him.

@Heather it sounds like you’re trying to feel out what he thinks instead of knowing directly? You said you try to communicate with him but not if you actually told him you were hurt? You are absolutely gorgeous and it sounds like he needs to work on how he expresses himself with others in mind as well as stepping outside of his world to see your perspective. Those things come so naturally to us as women and often men struggle with building that competency. those early days can be so stressful and really strain partnership. Especially when less is required of them and they even complain about that.😮‍💨 I feel for you mama. My advice would be if you’re ‘asking’ for help- stop. start saying ‘I cant do it’ and DONT add any explanations after. Do in the sweetest loving way, but simply: I cant. Allow him to fill the gap & don’t step in to fill it automatically and overextending yourself. As for appearance is appealing to him important to you or not something at the top of your list right now?

My advice is get the husband and put him in the bin.

You look 👏 amazing

I also chopped my hair off postpartum this last pregnancy and it’s finally starting to grow again… you are beautiful mama!!!!

Maybe an unpopular opinion. But if my partner shaved off his facial hair or made a big change without my opinion first I’d be a bit upset about it. And frankly I’d be less physically attracted to him which does play a big role about being proud to be seen with him in public. Now. Having that said. You should be able to do whatever you want, he’s not there to control you- but actions have consequences good and bad. You made that action without him and he has a right to not like it. I think you look great! But calling him old and bald because he doesn’t like your hair seems kinda childish 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe have a deep conversation about how you both feel about the situation, figure out the problems and try to find solutions.

@Shay this >>>>

I read this as “new husband hates haircut”. Maybe that’s the solution, new husband 😂

@Heather i love it!!!! it fits your face so well. i understand switching things to help with your self identity, your husband just doesn’t quite understand it right now but i hope he grows to love it (he has no right to talk with no hair in the first damn place, he’s self projecting 😒). Hair grows back but at the end of the day he should love you through all of your choices. Hair can hold a lot of energy so im glad you freed yourself from it! He’ll be fine & if he continues this behavior…that’s when you need to outweigh your options of your relationship cause that shows a lot about him just because you decided to change your appearance to make YOU feel good & worthy for yourself, not for him!! It looks amazing mamá 💞

Personally, I don’t think cutting your own hair without consulting your partner is selfish. In my opinion, I don’t hold that type of ownership over my partner’s choices. In our house, we make decisions together that affect us both, our children, or all of us as a family unit. When it comes to us as individuals, especially our personal appearance, that’s a decision we make for ourselves. Have your preferences, but to treat someone poorly and be pissed because you don’t like the way they look is selfish. You can be annoyed but surely if you love the person for who they are, you can quickly get over it. It’s temporary. I would absolutely hate it if my husband shaved all of his facial hair off, but if he did I’d say, “I really loved your beard but if this is how you feel comfortable and you like it, then ok.” My husband prefers my hair long and didn’t want me to cut it, yet he came in that bathroom and asked me if I needed help cutting the back, and then he kissed me when I finished.

you told him you were going to get a haircut and he didn’t believe you, he has no reason to be upset and no justification for acting like a jerk. Your haircut is gorgeous!

Again I have been telling him I’m going to do this for a while now he just didn’t take me seriously. I just went on a random day alone instead of taking him with me and it was a surprise in that sense. I have been going through a lot and either way I just needed to do this to feel good and I guess I just hoped he would still support me and make me feel wanted loved lately. And the talking doesn’t happen and is always one sided when I do try to talk to him. Which is the only way it happens is if I talk to him. And when I call him out on anything all he says is what are you talking about and makes me feel crazy. I’m living in a toxic relationship and I want to fix it but I think it’s just a lost cause. And the old and bald thing isn’t meant to be mean. Obviously it doesn’t bother me or I wouldn’t be with him and married him in the first place. I’m just venting on here obviously and upset and I appreciate everyone’s opinion popular and unpopular . Ty all.

The fact that he won’t stand beside you in public, despite what his opinions are on your hair, speaks volumes to what kind of husband he is. This is only proven further with how little he helps you with your kids and how he gets mad because (omg!) the baby actually cries at night. Hint: He’s a POS. Time to upgrade.

@Shay I’ve told him how I feel and that it made me feel like shit when he couldn’t even give me once nice compliment. I cry a lot lately and he got me at my emotional best when I told him that I can’t believe I married a man that only loves me for my hair. I currently just see him as someone that wouldn’t take care of me if I had cancer and I had to shave my head bald because of it. It just doesn’t settle well with me.

Really sorry if this sounds forward. There’s a saying that when a woman changes her hair she changes her life. Given you’ve just had an earth shifting change with becoming a mum there’s no surprises the hair has changed! (It’s gorgeous btw) It sounds like he’s almost feeling threatened by your new look. Strength in women sometimes intimidates men and that mixed with the fact that they go through a form of post natal too could be why he’s lashing out. It could be that he’s struggling to find himself while dealing with you no longer being just ‘his’ so to say. Your hair is STUNNING on you!!! You rock it but this isn’t about the hair. For him, IMO this is about change. Perhaps also the loss of him no longer being the center of your family, the one who makes the decisions and the go to person. He needs to deal with it and process the deeper issues. You look gorgeous girl! Don’t let it hold you back ❤️ (Again, not meaning to sound forward, my husband went through something similar.)

@Heather right after baby is a high emotional time. Don’t give up and PLEASE don’t listen to these random strangers telling you to get a new man and give up on your marriage! I don’t think people factor that there’s always 2 sides to a story and I’m sure you wouldn’t be with him or give him a second child if he didn’t have some redeeming qualities. He doesn’t just love you for your hair and I think you know that underneath the anger/hurt at how POORLY he’s handled this. I would highly recommend reading the book The Empowered Wife if you truly are looking for improvement in your marriage. Some smart women suggested it to me when I was feeling rocky and it helped me cut through the noise and elevate my ‘wife wisdom’ ten fold.

@Jasmin I wish we would stop saying this. When a man is turned off by something that doesn’t mean he’s threatened or intimidated by women. I doubt he fears her or he wouldn’t have made rude comments. She mentioned this is their second child. He just doesn’t like the masculine look and for whatever reason is handling it poorly. We don’t have to read more into it than that. Men are pretty simple.

Oh wow! Sorry, but what an arsehole! I just left an abusive relationship where me being pansexual and standing up for myself made me a “dyke with dick envy” no thanks, I’d rather the blood remain in my brain where it is needed! This is disgusting behaviour, does he not realise long hair is a lot of work and with two kids under 3 a short spunky cut is more logical. Excuse my French, but fuck your husband! He needs to get woke!

@Ceilidh wow. I can’t even. Can’t believe you’d not be attracted to your man if he shaved. Wow! So it’s not just men that are shallow

And I’m sorry, but the reason women are saying leave him is because his actions are childish. And he is emotionally abusive. And calling you lesbian is verbally and emotionally abusive. No you don’t have to leave him. But I wouldn’t let my partner treat me that way. And so eventually he hit me! He’s out of my life now, you need to talk to your husband. It’s not acceptable for him to make you feel so rejected. Especially this bullshit in public girl! Not on I suggest marriage counselling so he can see that the way he’s behaving is not on. Get a male therapist so he doesn’t think it’s a “female thing” it’s not! It’s a respect thing!

@Shay he fears her independence. Yes absolutely! So he abuses to mess with her esteem. He’s worried she’ll outgrow him. It stems from insecurity. You need to read some books on psychology Shay. Sorry, but you don’t know what you are talking about. I dare say you have a husband that acts like this and that’s why you are so offended that others are telling her she deserves better.

@Rae all i need to know about psychology is a person in chaos projects it (you). My man has never so much as name called me. You have about 50 kids, say you’re pan, come from an abusive relationship & now think everyone else does too. You can’t possibly conceive of my dynamic. You’re so triggered over this you missed where I was critical of his behavior. You zeroed in on saying she shouldn’t leave. Yes he is imperfect- & she is. There is no perfect person out there, just a different face with different problems. Eventually you’ll have to actually work through things *IF* you want a successful marriage. They’re in the early days of their marriage & had children quick. They’re still maturing & learning each other. I hope they make it through & realize the whole point is to work through the ‘stuff’ she brings to the table & ‘stuff’ he brings to get to each other & become one. You don’t have the whole picture to say she should leave. She chose him. You have obvious man hater energy

Sorry for all the confusion and misunderstanding. I am not trying to cause any problems. I obviously have enough of my own. I plan to work on my marriage and I am currently seeing a therapist once a week and hopefully my husband will decide to join me one day. Because we all need help at times and I chose to get it before my second boy came into this world because I do want to be better for my family. Ty all