No sex, advise?

I always see posts of guys talking about their girls not having sex often so they cheat but never the opposite. Can we normalize talking about girls who want to have sex with their partner but the guy doesn’t? Like what can a girl do at that point? Would it be wrong for the girl to behave like a guy too in this scenario? Or for a girl to want to have sex with other guys because their partner doesn’t touch them?? I havent had sex in over a month and i spoke to my partner three times about it. He says he is having trouble with getting an erection and is going to try more to get back to our old ways and please me in other ways if he still has problems. Yet, he hasn’t tried. Last conversation i told him straight up that he isn’t trying when he said he would and he said because we haven’t had time and are always tired. In the past we would make time and i just don’t agree. He keeps reassuring me that he wants me that hes attracted to me and is more in love than ever. But i just want to get slutted out!!! Like just fuck me!! Or eat me out!! Do something, ANYTHING! Thats all i want. To the point im fantasizing about other guys doing it. I don’t want to cheat but i cant stop thinking about what another guy would do to me that he just isn’t doing anymore… im 7 months pregnant and already have a son together, we’re engaged now and i wonder, is this what its going to be like? A sexless marriage ? Would i be ok with that? I don’t think so. So idk what to do. Anyone else going through this or been through it????

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Hi, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But guys, women whoever it is, cheating isn’t ever the answer. Especially not for only a month of no sex. I do get you must be frustrated etc maybe offer to go to the Dr with him, or find out his he’s stressed for other reasons?

I have done all of that… we spoke about it multiple times and nothing changes. I am not a cheater. I would never cheat. The scenario would be with him agreeing to it openly or me leaving him. I am very open and even communicative about these thoughts with him. We spoke about going to therapy we spoke about how to fix it. He just hasn’t taken initiative in doing anything to fix it and i stopped trying to initiate sex with him because of rejection and not wanting to keep pressuring him. I would love to hear from people who have had similar experiences and what the outcome was.

Also, it has been over a month by the way.. i just stopped counting.

Ah sorry I think I must have read the cheating bit wrong. I’ve been in that situation and it took time (frustratingly) and a lot of patience. I guess you need to be sure there isn’t an underlying health factor?

Every pregnancy is different and believe me I’m not sticking up for him. I feel for you 😅 but just because maybe the first pregnancy had no implications maybe life has changed this time and this time he has other stresses and that which is preventing him. He may be depressed? Or experiencing something he’s ashamed to admit to you? I know with guys not being able to get it up as such is a very touchy subject so he may be embarrassed by that and retreating instead. Kind of like a want to shut it down and forget it’s even happening kind of way. This is awful and horrible but I know it can be common. He could be so in love with you but not find pregnancy attractive anymore? I love my partner so so so much but after I gave birth I haven’t wanted to touch him once and it’s been 14 weeks. Despite loving him. But can’t stand the idea of being intimate. It’s so shit, I get it. But I think try talking to him very compassionately in a non judgmental way and tell him it’s okay he’s safe to talk x

I constantly see posts on here of women wanting to cheat on their men because they don’t like the sex or they aren’t getting it enough.

Honestly, I think him admitting to you he has a problem getting an erection is huge. That’s mortifying for men and it’s a complete shot to their dignity. Going down on you or other things should lead to him having an erection right? But if he knows it’s not going to happen he’s going to get mortified in the act as well. It’s going to consume his mind, “why isn’t this working” and he won’t be fully into whatever he’s doing. So he’s completely avoiding sex to completely avoid that embarrassment. You’re having straight up conversations with him which is good, but it’s also scary. “She wants this, but I’m not going to be able to perform correctly because of something out of my control.” So in actually your assertiveness may be doing the complete opposite of what you think it is. What I would do? Make the doctor’s appointment for him. Go with him but not into the room, you don’t need to go in just get him there. Once he’s there he’ll realize this isn’t so bad. Then take it from there.

My husband started testosterone shots and it’s been the biggest help no joke

I did.

Made the appointment. Went with him and instead of making it like embarrassing I was as support as a women could absolutely possibly be !!!

@Emily my husband takes testosterone and yeah it helps when he's on it. I know my husband doesn't watch porn and just had a low libido off it and even on it sometimes but I definitely prefer him on it. (He usually only gets off it when we're trying to conceive)