in Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Terrified to go on Mat leave

I’m 6weeks away from going on mat leave. While I should feel excited & supported, I’m not. I’m getting very anxious as my husband has been emotionally abusive & it’s worsened in the past 3weeks. I can’t leave as the house is in my name & I’ll still be liable to pay for rent even if I go elsewhere. And I don’t have family or anyone to lean on. Today I reminded him that rent is due in two days time but he created a really big fight out of nothing yesterday which drained me & was coming so close to my face. The only thing that made him back off is me threatening to call the police. He triggers me so much & there are a few times I threatened with police. So today he said he won’t be paying rent in full as he doesn’t know when I’d kick him out. In our previous house, he messed me so much with paying rent in bits & I didn’t want this to carry on like this. I didn’t have the courage to leave when the contract finished as moving on my own was just so stressful while heavily pregnant. Now I feel stuck in the same predicament but worried when I go on mat leave my earning won’t be the same plus being stuck in the house with him terrifies me. Unfortunately, I can’t access public funds so that’s not an option. I have a social worker coming to visit me in a few days & wondering whether to speak about the current situation or wait for things to improve between us? I know I must be ready to leave the relationship once I open up & I’m not sure I’m ready to before baby is here. I know it’s easier to end things now but I’m just not ready to face that now. I wanted to be in a better mental state so I can make the decision with conviction & not be drawn back to the relationship. I’m just at crossroads.

Show your support

This should be an exciting, amazing time for you, I understand it might be hard but I think doing it now before your baby gets here gives you the opportunity to start fresh when baba arrives and means you get to make the decisions that are best for both you and your baby as you are both the priority here, no one else! Maybe speak to your social worker about the situation and see what they say? I would definitely tell them in complete honesty, you can't carry on as the way you are! Sending big big hugs❤️

There is a lot that fathers have to deal with if try talking to him before your social worker comes. Try to see if there is even a reason like bipolar or anything mental going on. It’s stressful for the whole family when it’s your first but if he isn’t going to put in the effort or won’t admit it then definitely talk to the social worker and build a better life for you and baby. None of this is in conviction honestly it sounds like it’s been ongoing and reaching out for advice and assistance can lead to beautiful things💕 good luck momma

This is the best thing that will happen to you, being a mum and you deserve to do that in a haze of peace and anticipation. I've always believed that the way a man acts when his lady is pregnant is a sample of how he will help raise the child. I would ask your social worker for help. Childbirth will be tough you need support, not him xx

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