🌽rn and relationships

You dont allow him to watch porn? You shouldnt feel away, thats what men do. Its better them ggoing out and cheating. But he sounds like he got drunk and wanted to get his nut off.

I’m assuming you have children? What if one of the kids walked in on that. Like that’s horrible. Have you guys talked about not watching porn before?

i personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with watching porn but you being uncomfortable with it is valid. if that is a conversation that has been had and you’ve told him you’re not comfortable with him watching porn that would equate to cheating. if you haven’t had that conversation i would suggest having it, express that you’re uncomfortable and why and if he respects you amazing, if not figure out how important he really is to you if you’re willing to put up with it or not. my main concern: do y’all have children? is this tv in a common area where children could walk in and see? because that’s a major major issue.

Only weak men have to watch porn to stop them cheating. And as a woman if you’re not comfortable with it you don’t have to feel like you have to allow it in your relationship just so he won’t cheat..with that mentality you’re letting him have his cake and eat it and passing him the plate and a fork. Anyway men watching porn won’t stop them cheating if they want to that’s ridiculous..I’m sure most men that cheat also watch it. And also the phrase ‘that’s what men do’ is just so enabling of any type of behaviour which is why so many women put up with things they shouldn’t. OP if you have boundaries they should be respected. End of. And like Melanie said if you have kids that’s wild.. 😩

@Melanie yes we have kids, thank god they were still upstairs sleeping. And yes we have had conversations but that was like years ago. I didn’t think he was still doing that. It just made me upset that just because I didn’t give it up, he had to go do that. Now I just feel ugly yk

You’re valid. A looooottt of people on this app don’t mind their partners watching porn from what I’ve seen in comment sections. And if that’s what floats your boat that’s fine. You do you but not wanting your partner to watch something that is proven to literally change the brain chemistry of the watcher is definitely a very valid and reasonable request. Porn objectifies women, makes connecting with your actual partner much harder, and is addictive the same way drugs and alcohol are addictive. It is literally unhealthy for your brain. You being uneasy is warranted and he should respect your boundaries. ESPECIALLY with kids in the house on full display on the tv???? Like wtf

@Kordan respectfully this is a stupid take girl

@Melanie and the thing is he hasn’t texted me or called me. At least be a little embarrassed that I saw it. But no nothing. Now I’m going to get home from work to this awkwardness. And I don’t want to argue in front of my daughters

I would feel offended and oppressed if my partner didn't allow me to watch porn. Eeesh AND you expecting him to be embarrassed about it? The hell.

@Melanie seriously tho there's an article about literally everything and anything that will potentially change ur brain chemistry. Like in all of their 10-year marriage or whatever is this the first time that's happened? I doubt he has a porn addiction. It seems like he was just stressed out from the fight. It was insensitive to leave it on the TV for sure but that's it.

@Jennifer Ramirez you know that saying that’s goes like “when you don’t have anything nice to say. Don’t.” Yeah 👍 I’m just going to leave it at that.

@Jennifer Ramirez would he not also feel offended by you watching it if he didn’t want you to? And oppressed is quite dramatic it’s ‘only porn’..unless it’s something you can’t live without then I can see how you would deem it such a terrible compromise to have to make…in which case that’s a bit of a problem. And yes..falling asleep drunk and leaving porn on full screen when the kids could have seen it is quite frankly embarrassing all because he wanted to have a pity wank over random females instead of making up with his wife. I’d say yes, that’s embarrassing, how old is he 18??

Ok I'm not sure I said anything that was mean. I only said it didn't seem like her husband had a porn addiction?

@Ellis No the part I can't live without is the part of me that wants to do something like express my sexuality by watching porn. That would be oppressed. Not that I need to. The oppressive part is the fact that I wouldn't be able to if I wanted to.

@Ellis yeah guys use jerking off relieve stress A lot of people use sex to release stress A lot of people have a stress ball too it's not something he's going to grow out of.

@Ellis And yeah I agree why is this even a post and why are we even talking about it like there are other things that are way more important than whether or not her dude should be allowed to watch porn. I believe the original poster posted on here to get other people's opinions and that's what is happening you have yours and I have mine. No big deal if we disagree.

@Jennifer Ramirez it’s not a big deal if we disagree at all you’re right. I wouldn’t say you were mean as such but a little judgey towards her as if her feelings about it shouldn’t be felt especially with ‘the hell’ added on the end. It may not be something you grow out of, but I know that sorting things with his wife would have relieved the stress rather than making her feel shitty about herself and prioritising wanking over other women than her. Like she said it’s a conversation they’ve had. He should have respected her more and also the children in the house. *in my opinion*

@Ellis And you know what You're right. I didn't have to say that The way I did. I for one do not feel anyone should be ashamed about watching porn. I don't feel someone's partner should make them feel bad about it or embarrassed. I believe they both should work on whatever the fight was about and fixing it but I don't think she needs to add the watching porn on top of whatever else it is just to make him feel bad. I do think it's unacceptable He left it on when the kids might see it. And I do think that she should have said something about that for sure. I also do not believe he has a porn addiction because she didn't mention that it always happens and that he's out of control. She did say they had to talk about it before which still doesn't imply to me that he might have a porn addiction. I apologize if I came off rude to you and to the original poster.

i would be pissed offff i don’t like when my man is watching porn i feel like if he wanna watch porn he can watch me yk US let’s make a movie ourselves ik he was drunk but sheesh have some decorum it’s kids in the house for crying out loud

@Jennifer Ramirez I didn’t say he had a porn addiction. I said porn is addictive. As someone who was a porn addict and realized how bad it actually was for me and my mental health I did my research on it. An “article” is not the same thing as peer reviewed research. And even without that, it is a literal fact that porn objectifies women and portrays very unrealistic expectations of sex. And it’s completely normal for your partner to not want you regularly watching other people have sex. If you feel oppressed by that then to each their own like I said

Has he apologized at all OP? I’d assume you guys have had a chance to talk by now

@Melanie look I really don't want to clutter up this platform with our negative banter. I really thought you were implying he had a porn addiction or that him watching porn will lead to an addiction. I felt like you were encouraging the poster to not allow her fella to masterbate or find other woman sexually attractive. I apologized to the OP for the way I worded my comment and I deleted the other one. This post is not about you or I. We both gave our options on the matter. Id like to just leave it at that if that's ok with you. I'm sure she didn't post this to listen to you and I argue 😁🤠

@Jennifer Ramirez I do encourage OP to not allow her partner to watch porn because like I stated it’s harmful. That’s my opinion on the matter. But my main point with my comment was that people like the very first comment on here were going to make her feel like her feelings were completely invalid and cause her to feel like she needs to stand down on her boundary that she has for HER relationship. But I agree I don’t want to argue. What you prefer your relationship to be like is totally cool and if it works for you that’s great. I just don’t think it’s fair to act as if setting a boundary of not watching porn is “oppressive” and controlling. Because it’s a very normal thing.

@Melanie 👍

@Kordan this is not what MEN do it’s what boys do. Fuckn irrelevance.

He hasn’t spoke to me nor I to him. I just can’t I’m so hurt idk why it’s bothering me. I can’t look at him the same. I got home and went straight up stair to my babies and called it a night. Maybe today will be better😔

I’m sorry OP. I think the only way you’re going to be able to resolve the issue is to talk to him. Are you guys having a lot of issues in other areas of your relationship as well?

@Melanie Yes it’s always been a problem w intimacy. He’s always ready to do things. Not like me it takes me time. My mind is always preoccupied w work/housework/kids. He’s just so carefree idk how he does it. I just didn’t think he would get off on watching that..I mean it makes me doubt a lot of things now. Like has he been doing this every time I deny him? I just caught him this time? Now idk if I can be intimate w him without thinking oh he’s probably thinking about it the porn. I feel so used. 💔 he acted as if we weren’t intimate the night before.

You guys have been together a very long time. If there’s no other issues in your relationship then I’d say this seems worth working out. And it’s just going to take some communication. Take the time you need but not to be petty. Take time to think about what you want to say and be the bigger person and initiate a conversation. Hopefully he can own up to his mistakes and understand your feelings and change. Good luck💛