Please read ladies and I hope my story helps someone❤️!

I was in an abusive relationship for quite some time but I loved him so much that I ignored all the red flags and abuse. There was physical violence, sexual violence, emotion abuse coercion and the list goes on. During my pregnancy he was very on and off, telling me to choose between getting an abortion and being with him and the next minute he was back again. Just a really nasty person. In 2024 after a horrible pregnancy and postpartum of him bullying me and threatening me and his family also I finally went to some therapy. I did not speak much about what I endured but having that time made me realise that it was actually abuse and not love. I have devoted myself to being the best mother I can despite how I feel. I have never kept him away I have always made sure he has a relationship with our daughter. He always makes excuses and plays victim to things but I ignore it and try to keep it child focused. Fast forward to now he has sent me court papers and wants custody. Unfortunately I did not report any abuse so I have absolutely no leg to stand on. I reached out to organisations like woman’s aid and initially they said they could help but then said no. I have no way of protecting my daughter from him and I absolutely hate myself for not being stronger and speaking up against him. I can no longer afford my solicitor and everything is so hopeless. I’ve advocated so much and tried to make them see who he really is but the courts don’t care and don’t listen to me at all. I hope that if any of you are reading this and are experiencing or experienced any abuse PLEASE REPORT IT so if it ever comes to it you can save your babies and yourselves. I have no choice now but to let that man stay in our lives forever because that’s what the courts will grant. She will have to live there half time and it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate that I let him in our lives and I hate that I didn’t speak up. I thought I was being strong by carrying it all on my own and allowing them to maintain a relationship but I was foolish. I am crumpling right now and don’t know what else to do. I love my baby but I just don’t even feel like being here anymore. I have to hope and pray that he never harms her but she’s only a baby so I won’t even know. I wish I could forget it all and move on and try to just co-parent but I am constantly reminded of how horrible of a time it was and how it has damaged me forever. If you read this far hug your babies extra tight and please please don’t keep the abuse to yourself ❤️