Baby Daddy having another
Hi guys ! I’m just looking for support to be completely honest and I’m hoping I can get it here as no one i know is going through the same.
As a bit of backstory, I got pregnant two years ago and my daughter is 15 months, me and her father broke up before I found out I was pregnant (I found out at 10 weeks) as he cheated on me and has been with that woman since. As soon as I found out I was pregnant they would both send me disgusting messages telling me to get an abo***on and that he never wanted a child anyway etc etc but then when he was on his own and drunk (he is an alcoholic) he would send me messages asking for proof I was pregnant, saying he would never let me be a single parent (assuming he means solo) but then as soon as he was sober it would be a different story and he would again want nothing to do with her (he’s never even told his family about her).
Since that happened I’ve been doing it all completely solo as he doesn’t even pay his £13 a month CSA but earlier tonight I found out him and his partner are having another baby and it’s just broken me down.
It’s not broken me down in the sense that I’m jealous as I know what kind’ve person he is but it has in the sense that I feel immense mum guilt that my daughter isn’t good enough for him despite him having other children that he shared custody of and another on the way. I’ve spent the whole evening almost feeling numb and nothing anyone says is helping as they have no idea what I’m feeling. I’m hoping (not hoping in that sense) that someone has gone through the same and can tell me something that stops me feeling like a shit mum. I work two jobs just to try and make ends meet, I’ve been the default parent since the beginning and I’ve had to put all my savings into parenting and yet he can pretend she doesn’t exist. I’m so upset for my daughter that I’ve brought her up in this environment as this isn’t how I imagined being a mum.
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I worked my ass off working two jobs going to school until I could get a good job. I finally got us out of a studio apartment into a house rental but still she could have her own room! I did it all myself for 10 years and she knows and appreciates it because she tells me all the time. It’s hard but you will get through it for your little one and it’s so rewarding when you can see that you’ve done right and not wrong by them. Hang in there mama💛
Dont worry, having one amazing mom is a million times better than having 2 shit parents
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If you ever want to talk my messages are always open! I went through a similar situation with my oldest come to find out when she was a year or two that the kids are actually less than a month apart I thought it was way more…. I felt the same and defeated and like my daughter was not good enough for him but he could have another child and care for her other children that weren’t even his but could just pretend like she didn’t exist. It was very hard I’m not going to lie and I had to work two jobs to make ends meet for a long time. As she got older her questions were tough and I would beat myself up all the time. But the best thing you can do is be there for your baby and give them the love they deserve. As they grow older they will know who was and wasn’t there. I never wanted my child to be without a father and I went through depression many times I lost so much weight once I was only 97 lbs but I realized that nothing I did could change his actions.