I want time with Jusr my partner and son?

We get SD every weekend and every single holiday (Christmas Easter new years etc) and it’s never bothered me and so I also knew what I was going into when we decided to have a baby. However I didn’t know how much being a mother and having my own son would change my view on this. In my opinion I’m like what mum only wants their daughter on school nights? My son is now 10 months and I’ve yet to have a single day just him and his dad. I’ve now snapped and requested we get space immediately because I’m starting to lose it at SD even her presence is making me furious but it’s not her it’s the circumstances. All I want is one day and one 2 months left of mat leave and not a single memory of just my baby and his father. Am I wrong for this? Caused a massive argument this morning with my OH over it as I’ve said nothing until I snapped. I’m starting to think I’d feel better on my own am I just being irrational here …

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You can DM me if you like , sounds exactly like my situation 😳

I'm currently pregnant and due in July. Worried this might happen was my baby is here

You’re not alone in your frustrations I think all the ladies in this group will be able to relate in one aspect or another. All I would say is be clear that whilst it is your babies childhood and he won’t remember, it is also your motherhood and you deserve all the chances that your fella and his ex got with their little one. That includes having nice memories and photos just the 3 of you not always the 4. That isn’t because you don’t like sd, quite the opposite it’s because you want to be the best version of yourself for sd too therefore you need to be able to do some things your way instead of all forced by the baby mum and circumstances re visitation schedule of sd.

I get it. As much as ur a family of 4 ur also a family of 3 and u should have time alone to do things. I suspect dad will feel guilty saying he cant have sd this day because he wants to spend time with just u and ur baby together so could he maybe book some holiday from work so u can have these days together but so he also doesnt have to not have sd on her set days? Just make sure he understands its not because u dislike sd but just u would like some time to bond as a 3 and make memories with the child u share together x

I think the feeling of wanting time with your family unit is entirely normal and because you aren’t getting this I understand why you might feel you’d be better on your own, however that completely contradicts what you are actually wanting and hoping for and is almost self destructive (I too have thought the same before). I would try to rationalise what outcome you are hoping for and speak with your husband about how you can create an arrangement which allows all to be happy. Perhaps it’s a day a month the three of you, perhaps SD can spend the day with grandparents once a month for instance or perhaps the arrangement can be revisited if it no longer works etc. For perspective lots of families with stepchildren have minimal time just them. For example my SD has an every other weekend routine, and even then as my husband is a sportsman we only have two days a month where SD is not with us. Xx

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