In laws went unhinged

So my question is, can they try to take our kids? I’m relatively new to US and don’t know what they can do. We are in Florida

This is horrifying and I would look into possibly getting a restraining order on her/them. She sounds like she could be capable of anything. So I would definitely be careful and take precautions. Maybe see if there is anything you can do to report any behaviors she’s done before?

Join this group on Babycenter called DWIL Nation, it has a lot of great advice on dealing with these situations and yes in some states grandparents can sue for grandparents rights. https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation

I don’t have a proof of anything she has done. She went unhinged because we decided to set boundaries and send our kids to daycare instead of her house. I am looking into restraining orders, i just don’t know how to prove the emotional damage they have caused over the years

Hey no one can take your kids away from you unless they have proof you’re hurting them or causing them any kind of harm. If CPS is called, they’ll investigate. It sounds like they want to control the situation and they probably want contact with their grandchild so they are doing whatever they can to get there. Keep the email, it’ll hold up for proof for things. Keep note of the things they did that made you want to go no contact. You’re the biological parents. Perhaps get a no contact order from court? As far as I’ve researched grandparents rights are nearly non existing, far from the parents rights

@Sigi it only applies when they have a relationship with the children and their son would have to be dead

Are they Jewish? Like Orthodox Jewish I’m guessing? Not that it matters just makes sense in that sometimes these communities can be very very possessive over family and it can get intense. Not all families are like this but I’ve definitely seen this extreme aggressiveness before in similar situations. If you watch the show “unorthodox” it is based on a real life documented similar situation. And there are a lot of other sad and documented cases where families like this have gone out of their way to make the other parties a living hell. In some ways it’s similar to treatment in Mormon or JW cultures where they shun family members. Grandparents can only sue for grandparents rights if the mom and dad are not fit as parents OR if the children have been primarily raised by the grandparents. In no other circumstance will a court give grandparents any rights over the parents, In the meantime document and print and record everything.

You can also only do a no contact order but not a restraining order unless they have threatened your physical safety or are physically harassing you, A no contact order should be sufficient and will be easier to get from a judge than the restraining order. If you go for a restraining order you do have to prove with a preponderance of evidence that they will be a danger in someway to you or have been harassing you in your home, at work… etc…it’s harder to prove than you think. A no contact order will accomplish what you want and is easier to get and I would get one for the kids as well. Meaning they cannot call the day care or school or try in anyway to talk to your children through other family members. So make sure your kids are on there as well.

Grandparents right are a thing in some states but I believe they’re not typically granted when parents are married making these choices jointly because you both have the right to choose who you want in your child’s life. They’re typically for cases of spousal death (say if mil has had a relationship with children, father dies, and you deny her from seeing them cause your husbands dead now) or divorce (where you have custody but the father has visitation and his moms has always had a relationship with the kids but you won’t allow it because of the divorce). Don’t worry about cps unless your child is being abused by you, malnourished, etc. They can tell scrapes and bruises from tantrums vs actual physical abuse. But side note, if he’s getting bruises from tantrums, talk to the pediatrician because maybe they can offer some advice or how to get him behavioral therapy. Your in laws sound very unstable and I feel bad for your husband that they said that to him (assuming he’s Michael).

@Janis yes, we are Jewish. And i watched unorthodox, it was amazing. You’re right, it’s coming from their family. They took care of my toddler during they for a little over a year as we couldn’t afford daycare. It all started from there..

@Denise yes, Michael is my husband, thank you for the kind comments. The tantrums happened multiple times in same week and just ended, we are raising them bilingual and she gets frustrated when she can’t express her needs. We created a functional kitchen & playroom and it is working very well

I’ve dealt with similar before in my family and going no contact and setting firm boundaries is the only option. My own mother has actually sued me and threatened CPS for putting my child in a car seat for three hour trips to pick up my step daughter and for my husband taking a nap with the kids in the play room, made for the kids. Fortunately after a long period of time my mother did change her behavior and we were able to reconcile but we’ve had frequent interactions where I’ve had to remind her of the boundaries Of course her complaint is always “I’m always afraid you are going to shut the door on me again.” Me: “you wouldn’t have that fear if you respected my boundaries.” 🤷‍♀️

@Janis im so sorry that you went through this as well. When she sued, did anything happen?

She didn’t sue for grandparents rights although she has threatened it before lol. It was another issue in an order to try and control where we lived. In short my husband and I lived with her for a time, paid half the mortgage in rent but yet she did not give us our privacy, invaded our living area without notice, tried to put us on a cleaning schedule. Literally made it hell. Then when we had enough and started setting boundaries she threatened to evict us. I told her I needed three months to save money but could leave faster if I didn’t pay rent. (Which she didn’t need btw. She made 6+ figures with additional double income with my stepdad) anyway.. she made it worse when she found out how far away we wanted to move….so we stopped paying rent the last month and then she tried to sue us. We went to mediation. I told her she had a choice; she could have money or she could have a daughter (if she went to therapy) She caved at that point and chose the latter.

As soon as I saw an adult use "mommy" for another adult, I already knew how toxic, narcissist, and guilting the email was going to be. It's just disgusting and delusional and sad to read that email.